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“Did something happen recently that triggered this? Perhaps a stressful situation? An outcome you don’t approve of, maybe?” Fuck. I stroke my fingers over the bullet on my necklace, fast, uncoordinated. “What is that something, son?” Dad asks cautiously. “Someone. Maybe.” “Who is it?” “Not important,” I lie through my teeth, my movements turning jerkier and more out of control. “In that case, get rid of them.”
“Nikolai. You need to promise me that you’ll get rid of whoever drove you to this state,” Dad says more firmly. “The key to keeping you in control is not to provoke you. If this person is doing that, they need to be gone.”
He’s right. I should get rid of the provocation. Technically, Bran means nothing. So what if I want to fuck him? I wanted to fuck a lot of people before him and I’m sure I’ll go back to my old ways soon if I give myself time.
The only difference is that I’ve never wanted to make someone mine as much as I want to chain him the fuck up to me.
don’t approve of. I’ve always kept things physical, but that’s far from being the case with Bran. I’m spending more time with him than I have with anyone, and I actually like it. No. I love it. I can’t imagine my days without seeing his face first thing in the morning and that little smile he hides so soon after spotting me. He rejects me, and I keep going back for more like a junkie who needs a hit of the drug that’s sucking my life dry. But this can’t go on anymore.
In a few seconds, my eyes find those intense blue ones. I’m dreaming. Fuck.
“Nikolai!” Jeremy brings my attention back to him and slaps my cheek with the back of his hand. “Where the fuck did you go, man?” Somewhere not nice.
“What girls are you thinking about killing, Niko?” “Anyone who gets in the fucking way of what I want.” My gaze flies back to the crowd, but he’s not there.
I don’t mean you’re weird. Really, I don’t. Though you are. But that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that you’re not weird for your sexuality. I apologize if it came out that way. I just meant that it feels weird to me. I’m not used to this. I’ll come to your place tonight. If you want. Just don’t fight, please.
So you did fight and you looked like you were enjoying yourself. Should I take that as a no? You know what? I’m going to your place. You’re the one who said this was a date. Ah, fuck. Fuck it. Fuck. Me.
I know I should be pushing him away. I really, really should. But he’s so fucking irresistible. Looks like my lotus flower will meet the crazy Nikolai. God save his soul. Or, more accurately, his body.
After I left my Tesla in the car park, I contemplated not actually invading his place. That’s just rude.
NOT THE TESLA
The ticking sound goes into overdrive in my head, driving me up the wall. Tick. He’s not coming. Tick. Why would he? No one really wants you. Tick. You look pathetic. Just leave already.
“Hey, sorry I let myself in—” The words are barely out when he smashes his body against mine.
“Nikolai, what are you—” “Shut. Your. Mouth.” He bites my lower lip with every word, eliciting a shudder from me.
Am I supposed to feel this turned on by a kiss? It’s not even a full kiss. Fuck.
“Who the fuck is she?” he growls against my mouth, his coarse words vibrating on my skin. I try to clear my head, which is impossible under the circumstances. “Who’s who?” “The girl who was throwing herself in your arms at my fucking fight.” “A-Ava?” “Ava. Her name would look fucking pretty on a gravestone.”
“I will fucking kill him or anyone who dares to touch what’s fucking mine.”
when I realize he means every word. It should repulse me, send me running again, but my cock has turned as hard as stone and I’m delirious. My lungs fill with his scent—mint, blood, and all male. It coils and rattles inside me with overwhelming strength. No one has ever said that to me. No one has ever been so obsessed with me that they act like they’d move heaven and earth to protect me. I shouldn’t even want protection or this toxic connection. But the reality I’ve been trying to ignore crashes into me. I want him. I fucking crave him. So much it hurts.
So I lift my head and capture his lips in a punishing kiss. I thrust my tongue inside his mouth and taste the metallic blood. I taste the desperation. The aching lust.
and letting the strands fly free. He’s right. I fucking love kissing him.
But most of all, I love how he kisses me. It’s hard and dominating but also overwhelmingly passionate. His tongue slurps on mine and his fingers dig into my jaw so that he can feed me his. I’m intoxicated. Enamored. Absolutely fucking unhinged. How can a simple kiss feel so good…? He wrenches his lips from mine with a growl and I release a protesting sound. “I’m going to fucking ruin you as badly as you’ve ruined me, my lotus flower. I’ll get so far beneath your skin, you’ll never fucking get rid of me.”
For some reason, that makes me smile. I’ve always lived on the right side of things. Perfect scores. Perfect manners. Perfect image. I never toyed with danger. Never wanted to live ...
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But then this man bulldozed through my walls, and now, I’m breaking ...
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My fingers tighten in his hair. “Shut up and fuck me.” A spark rushes to his previously dead eyes a...
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“Niko…” I rasp, writhing against the pillow as I pull his head down with a handful of his hair. “Just…fuck me.”
I’m reduced to begging for it, but I’m too far gone to care about it at this point. My heart nearly spills from its confinement when he flashes me his sexy grin. “You called me Niko. Fuck, baby. I’m really going to fucking devour you.”
slide my palm on Nikolai’s length. When I reach the tip, I stop and—like a junkie who can’t help it—I take the crown in my mouth and tug on a piercing with my teeth.
“I love your fucking filthy mouth.” He slams his lips to mine and kisses me hard and fast as he pulls out his fingers.
tug on his hair. “Stop kissing me everywhere like I’m a girl, Nikolai.” He merely chuckles and bites down on my lower lip. “I don’t kiss girls everywhere—or boys, for that matter. But I will kiss you wherever I fucking please, lotus flower. Get used to it.”
“More. Give me fucking more.”
We keep kissing until I can no longer feel my lips. Until the cold air forms goosebumps on my damp skin.
“Where do you think you’re going?” “Uh…shower.” Why do I sound so hoarse? His lips curve in a slightly evil grin. “Can I join?” “No.” I pause when his smile disappears, then sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I’ll wait until you’re comfortable, then.” His grin returns and I want to kiss it, but I don’t, because that’s just fucking desperate. “Thanks, baby.” “For what?” “For bringing me back.” “Bringing you back from where?” “Somewhere unpleasant.” He smacks my arse. “Go get that sexy body all soaped up and try not to think of me.”
floor. I catch my reflection in the mirror and my smile instantly drops. What gives you the right to be happy after everything you’ve done? I try to swallow, but the lump gets stuck and I feel my airways closing. Fuck. Fuck.
around my waist. My vision is blurry, but I can’t get out of there fast enough. Run away, Bran. Just run the fuck away—
My movements and thoughts come to a sudden halt when I find a massive man sitting on the floor right by the bathroom door, still naked, and…is he… I lean over and tentatively stroke his hair away from his face. No doubt about it. He’s actually asleep. I can’t resist the chuckle that leaves my lips. Why am I not surprised he’d fall asleep anywhere and in any position?
Though…does this mean he was waiting for me? Ge...
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He sprawls his legs all over the super king-sized bed and uses his hand as a pillow. His hair spreads out on the sheet like silk, and I can’t help ghosting my hand over it before I pull the blanket over him.
No. I like the sign of ownership.
part of me wants to stay, maybe not in the same bed since that’s…strange, I suppose. But just around. That contemplation shatters when the image from earlier comes back like a curse and I physically force myself to walk to the lift. This small moment of pleasure is all the reprieve my demons can offer. I can’t let him see me like this. And he won’t. Because I’m fucking fine.
My face breaks into a grin. Does this mean Bran carried me to the bed? I inspect the clean sheets that I certainly didn’t change and yup, definitely him. He’s organized to the point of being a bit neurotic. Or a lot, depending on your definition of the word. Now, I want to kick myself in the ass for not feeling him carry me, wrap his arms around me, and cover me. Fuck. I’m getting hard at the thought. My Prince Charming is actually stronger than he looks. Even Jeremy and my cousins don’t carry or move me when I fall asleep in unusual places or situations. The images of him touching and placing
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Last night was the best sex of my life, and it’s not about the sex per se, though that was fucking hot. It’s about him. The way he cried out my name and held on to me and kissed me. The way he let me in. Even demanded it. Why the fuck did I think he’d choose to stay this time? He doesn’t. It’s not what he does.
So why the fuck do I feel any other way about Bran? Maybe it’s the fact that you call him that and a few other nicknames, not to mention the fact that you got this fucking place just so he’d feel safe away from everyone else?
Yeah, so I did that. He’s always paranoid about people and their meaningless fucking opinions, so I thought he’d feel more comfortable in a place that’s only for us. I mean, for him to meet me here. There is no us. Apparently, he didn’t feel safe enough to stay.
The first story ends and the second shows a canvas with a few haphazard red lines. Not sure what those mean, but red is good. Right? Well, it’s good to me because it represents blood and violence. Not sure golden-boy Bran feels the same.
I intended to fuck him and then make him disappear from my life like Dad told me to. But that was before he kissed me and asked me to fuck him. That was before he looked at me with those soft eyes.
did no such thing. Jesus. He’s fucking adorable. An asshole but adorable all the same. I can imagine him turning all serious when he typed that.
Why are you asking me about what you should do? Answer me. Do you want me there? Yes or no. Yes. My lips pull in what must look like the most stupid grin ever. I knew my efforts would come to fruition. Now, I need to work harder to make myself indispensable in his life. My mind might have quieted down today, but that dark thought about never giving him a way out stays the same.
It was your first time being fucked and you didn’t let me take care of you afterward, so I’m a bit concerned.
