Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD

by Jesse J. Anderson

These types of goals set you up for failure because your estimates often aren’t accurate. Then you get frustrated with your lack of progress, which further demotivates you. Instead, use time-based goals: “I’m going to write for one hour.” “I’m going to clean for twenty minutes.” “I’m going to work on my taxes until 8 p.m.”

What you need to do is make the task look ridiculously easy. Don’t commit to washing all the dishes. Just commit to washing three dishes. Or even a single dish. Your office is a mess? Commit to cleaning two items off the desk. Trying to work out more? Commit to doing two push-ups, or even just changing into workout clothes.

One of the simplest and most effective strategies for staying focused is to use a visual timer. When I’m working, I almost always have one counting down.

particularly recommend the Pomodoro Technique. This is when you set a timer for twenty-five minutes of work and follow it with five minutes of rest. Do this three to four times in a row, then take a longer break. The 25/5 ratio isn’t a hard and fast rule though; use whatever spread works for you! I like longer work sessions (and longer breaks), so I might do forty minutes on, twenty minutes off.

The important thing isn’t necessarily to stop when the timer ends, but to decide whether to continue.

You can also use the Compete motivator by giving yourself challenges. How many words can you write in twenty minutes? Can you answer every other question before time runs out? Maybe you can finish the entire task early for an extra-long break.

(Others with ADHD may have learned to overcompensate, arriving early to everything because they are terrified of that feeling of being late.)

Others with ADHD will have the opposite problem, always arriving exceedingly early instead. Sometimes this is learned behavior or even a response to trauma after years of getting in trouble for being late. You think, “I need to do whatever it takes to not be late, even if that means showing up forty minutes early.” For others, it may be because of overcompensation—anxiety takes over and your fear of being exposed as “a late person” drives you to be the first to arrive. If your life often feels out of control, arriving extremely early can feel like one way to regain your autonomy.

Waiting Mode.

When you have an afternoon meeting or appointment, you may find it impossible to concentrate on anything else. You’re stuck in Waiting Mode. It’s almost like rumination; you find that no matter what you try to focus on, you can’t stop thinking about the pending meeting. You’re trapped in executive dysfunction and unable to focus on anything else.

Important tasks have long-term impact and move us toward long-term goals. Examples include developing a new skill, building relationships, or working on a big work project.

Urgent tasks often show up unexpectedly and feel like they need to be done right away, regardless of their long-term impact. Examples include rushing to complete a project before a fast-approaching deadline, fulfilling a pressing request from your boss, fixing something that just broke, responding to some sort of emergency, etc.

But anything due in forty minutes feels urgent. The problem is that the energy of an urgent task can make it feel like an important task.

When a big project or task has a distant due date, it’s easy to forget about it until the urgency kicks in. Whenever you have an important task, write the deadline somewhere where you will see it and in a large, easily readable font. Good options include: a whiteboard sticky notes your screensaver or phone background

Make important tasks obvious and visible so that you don’t forget about them until the last minute.

Here are a few easy ways to make sure you’re reminded: Set up recurring alarms. If you have tasks that need to be completed at regular intervals, consider setting up an alarm on your phone or computer to remind you to take action. Schedule emails to yourself. If you check your email regularly, you can schedule an email to show up in your

Use a reminder app. There are some great mobile apps for tracking reminders, and most phones even have native reminder apps. I prefer apps that let you easily snooze a reminder.

Ask a partner or friend. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner or friend in your life who’s great with time and memory, ask if they would be willing to help you remember an important upcoming event.

Learn to say no gracefully: Avoid overcommitting by “guarding your yes” and not agreeing to every new opportunity. Create time-based goals rather than outcome-based ones: Use time-based goals, rather than outcome-based ones, so you can celebrate success even when you don’t completely finish a task in the time you have available. Make micro-commitments: Propel yourself into motion by making a micro-commitment—a fast and easy action to ensure progress. Use visual timers: Use visual timers to keep you on track as time passes and to generate urgency that will help get you (or keep you) motivated.

Keep a historical time log: Use a stopwatch or timer app to record your travel times to make better estimates in the future. Turn Waiting Mode into Thinking Mode: When stuck in Waiting Mode, write out your thoughts to help clarify your thinking and clear any worries. Do something fun: Alternatively, when you’re stuck in Waiting Mode, try to embrace doing something fun instead of just worrying and doing nothing at all. Make it obvious: Make important tasks obvious and visible so you don’t forget about them until the last minute. Set up reminders: Create reminders to help you keep track of important tasks.

Things Top

The best way to make something easy to do or remember is to make it super convenient.

Or if you’re tired of your forgotten veggies going bad, follow the advice of KC Davis and place them in the open areas of your fridge so you see them every time you open the door.1 You can move soda or condiments to the drawers. You’ll have no problem digging to find those, so it’s fine to make them a little less convenient and obvious.

It turns out I struggled with prospective memory. Prospective memory is essentially “remembering to remember,” or remembering later to do something you planned to do. Here are some examples: “I should grab milk on my way home tonight.” “I’ll call Emma back in the morning.”

More than half of the ADHD participants forgot to even call—a noteworthy (and not too surprising) finding in and of itself.

MAKE IT VISUAL

Keeping important things visible and in your line of sight will 1) help you remember future deadlines and 2) remind you to act on them. Here are a few simple ideas for doing this: Write reminders on sticky notes or index cards. Make sure they’re placed somewhere you’ll easily see them again. Hang a wall calendar or whiteboard on a wall you often walk by and use it for important dates, notes, or

reminders. Mix up the colors and revise it frequently so it doesn’t just become background visual noise. Use a screensaver or digital photo album to remind you of friends and family you should stay in contact with.

putting workout clothes or equipment near the door to remind you to go to the gym placing an empty medication bottle in your car to remind you to pick up a new prescription setting an empty watering can near your plants to remind you to water them

People with ADHD often have a more limited working memory, the short-term memory you use to track information for tasks and cognitive activities.

Distractions can be even worse, since they can knock everything off the shelf.

you’ve been trying to hang on to. A quick interruption can derail you for hours. It can cause you to disengage completely from what you’re supposed to be doing, since you’re afraid all your work may come crashing down again with each new interruption.

People miscommunicate all the time! It’s worth the effort to make sure that you’re on the same page. Don’t waste time working on something that ultimately doesn’t match what’s expected.

All of which is to say: write it down, refer to it, make it visual and permanent.

Instead of putting it somewhere “weird” or “safe” (aka somewhere new each time), designate a specific area near your front

door to keep everything you need when you leave the house. This area can be an end table, a basket, a tray, or anything else that can hold what you need.

Be strict with yourself: don’t put your launchpad items anywhere else in the house. These have one destination, and that’s where they stay when you’re in the house.

COUNT ON IT Another memory technique is to associate numbers with a group of tasks or actions to help you remember all the things you need to do.

When it’s time to go to bed, you’d literally say “Bedtime, four” out loud to remind yourself about the four things you need to do. Here’s how it works: “Bedtime, four.” lock doors turn off lights set alarm brush teeth

To build a routine, name it and its associated number of tasks out loud. This will help you recall a group of required actions that you’d have trouble remembering on their own.

Get a (good) app: Using apps and tools with customizable notifications can help you manage your organization and stay on top of your tasks and responsibilities. Make it convenient: Make important information convenient, visible, and easily accessible so they are more likely to be remembered. Make it visual: Keep important reminders literally in your sights so you’re more likely to remember and act on them. Create an action anchor: Use action anchors, objects associated

Double-checking beats reworking: Double-check your assumptions about a project or task to ensure you fully understand the requirements and expectations. Make it permanent: Create a permanent record by writing things down so you can reference your notes in the future. Use drop zones and launch pads: Use launch pads placed in consistently used drop zones to store essential items and ensure you don’t forget to bring them with you. Count on it: To build a routine, name it and its associated number of tasks—then say both out loud to recall the required actions.

For most neurotypical people, past success can serve as motivation and inspiration for future success. But because people with ADHD have a weaker memory, we rarely use—much less benefit from—hindsight. This means we tend to discount or forget our past wins. They fade quickly into the fog of time.

Most people experience negativity bias to some degree, but it can be particularly severe for those with ADHD. Their brain is more likely to “learn” from negative events, leading them to make future decisions based more on avoiding negative situations that occurred in the past than on the merits.

It can be overwhelming to think about all the things you’ve learned to avoid. It’s hard not to fixate on the failures that seem to dominate your story.

Imposter Syndrome People with ADHD often experience imposter syndrome as well. After a lifetime of hearing you aren’t doing things the right way, you might feel like a fraud—worried you aren’t qualified to be in the position you’re in and living in fear you’ll be exposed.

This combination of poor memory, past failures, and sensitivity to negative feedback pulls you down into self-doubt.

This negative headspace can become a permanent internal soundtrack that plays on an endless loop, breaking our self-worth and self-confidence. It’s difficult to turn this soundtrack off.

The goal is to have a list of these accomplishments, compliments, and any other wins that make you smile when you see them. You should remain on the lookout for new smile moments to add so you can build up your smile file collection.

Life with ADHD can be intense. Really intense. We can experience high highs and low lows—everything seems to be an extreme. And we’re often unaware that what we are experiencing is any different from how others react.