Kindle Notes & Highlights
Living with ADHD can be wonderfully exciting, full of creativity, and incredibly frustrating all at the same time. You may start projects but be unable to complete them. You would like to stay focused but even the littlest noise outside your window stops your concentration. Perhaps you’ve come to expect failure and lost your confidence to take risks. While you want to do things differently and lean into your strengths, you may be overwhelmed and discouraged by the natural challenges that come with having an ADHD brain.
The first step is to understand what momentum is and why it’s important. It is not an area where ADHDers generally excel. We typically have an all-or-nothing mindset and have high intensity for periods of time on things that interest us. It is extremely difficult to build and keep momentum.
The biggest challenge for ADHDers is handling disruptions in our daily routines that often result in a dysfunctional cycle of progress.
How do we stop the disruption cycle and get back to momentum? How do we not identify or define ourselves by this disruption?
To learn how to calm the chaos of your ADHD, start with the chaos. It is important to start with the awareness of what is getting in the way of building and maintaining momentum and ultimately feeling lifelong confidence.
Are you ever paralyzed when facing challenges and scenarios where expectations are not put in place? Do you ever lack the confidence to tackle a difficult task because you believe your past failures will not allow you to make meaningful contributions to current projects or ideas? Do you ever struggle to take initiative with work tasks, household chores, or relationships? Each of these can be symptoms of underwhelm. They are keeping you from reaching your full potential.
Underwhelm can set in when life is monotonous and you lack challenging tasks and accomplishments. Ironically, it also can set in when you are successful.
“a state of mind that inhibits concentration and distracts one’s attention.” It affects focus to the point where you have difficulty with energy or properly completing tasks. When we are hypofocused, we have low interest and are very often bored.
Due to underwhelm, your brain can constantly be seeking the next new idea or opportunity. On the subconscious level, your brain is on alert for something exciting in order to increase its dopamine levels. Your excitement leads to dopamine surges.
Hyperfocus is a tremendous power to direct our thoughts and activities at impressive paces. However, when hyperfocus is mishandled, you can feel overwhelmed.
individuals with ADHD have a “Ferrari brain and bicycle brakes.” You can push yourself to the limit when your dopamine is high and when you are in a state of hyperfocus. This leaves you with a massive depletion of dopamine, and it can be tough to rebound.
Research has shown this is due to how the ADHD brain unconsciously and continuously grasps for mental stimulation at more complex levels. This longing for challenging intellectual stimulation may inadvertently impede basic tasks such as completing achievable short- and long-term goals.
Your roadmap is not linear. That is hard for others to understand. To them, your roadmap may seem inefficient. ADHDers are driven by ambition and are firmly grounded in the passion that leads them to create intricate routes with multiple paths toward their destinations. This desire lays out plans that can seem willowy to outsiders. Yet when linked together, they make up a sturdy roadmap toward meeting your ambitions.
Burnout can appear as fatigue (emotional, mental, and physical) and diminished motivation. Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Do you ever feel drained? Burnout is a mixture of those two. Burnout makes you feel unable to cope with the wide range of tasks and sources of stress in your life.
The most common cause of burnout is a prolonged period of intense stress mixed with an overwhelming mental workload.
You face the difficult task of understanding how and when your dopamine levels are optimal so you can stay focused on tasks and complete them. When dopamine signaling is impaired in your brain, this dysregulation often results in you struggling with tasks that seem mundane to others.
Your dopamine levels often influence your concentration, lack of impulse control, and restlessness. One of the challenges of managing your ADHD is managing your dopamine levels. Too little dopamine means that you can have difficulty controlling your emotions.
ADHDers can have difficulty regulating their emotions because they have difficulty with their executive functions. We struggle with emotional regulation because we have not learned the proper tools.
At its core, emotional regulation is about managing and directing feelings. It’s not about ignoring, suppressing, or avoiding feelings. Emotional regulation is about understanding what those feelings mean and how to use them in making well-thought-out decisions.
We compare ourselves to what we see others doing. This leads us to start working on another goal or task though we are lacking confidence.
When feelings of failure eventually become too much, you will shut down completely. Your body needs to take a break from the overwhelming demands placed on it.
Many of my ADHD clients have discovered that gaining the tools and confidence to build and maintain momentum is the key to success.
Let’s first start with some basics. Answer these questions: Am I getting enough sleep? Am I getting enough water? Am I getting enough nutrition? Am I getting enough exercise? Am I taking my medication consistently and is it working? (if this applies to you) If you answered “no” to any of these questions, think of something REALLY small that you can do to take care of yourself! Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is essential to understanding how to be at your optimal level.
As of today (2/15/24) I answered "No" to each of these questions.
Your Turn>> What can you plan to do tomorrow morning and the next few mornings that is for yourself and is nonnegotiable and sets up boundaries? List three possibilities: 1.________________________________________________________________________ 2.________________________________________________________________________ 3.________________________________________________________________________ Of those three, which one will you do tomorrow morning? Do that one for the next few days, and when you are consistently doing it, move on to step two.
1: Put a glass of water beside my bed, and drink it all as the first thing I do when I wake up.
2: Pray for direction, grace, and to be others-focused.
3: Sit on the edge of the bed, with my feet on the ground, and slowly complete 10 "Square Breaths".
Tomorrow, I will do #1
- Depressed
- Feeling like retreating inward
- It feels like "I always" get in this position
- Wanting to find something fun to do
- Just want to avoid addressing it
In this step I want you to list three to five things that hang over you because you need to get them done and haven’t completed them. 1.________________________________________________________________________ 2.________________________________________________________________________ 3.________________________________________________________________________ 4.________________________________________________________________________ 5.________________________________________________________________________
(2/16/24)
1: Connection with Amanda on a spouse level
2: Showering every day
3: Brushing my teeth every day
4: Cleaning my office
5: Writing things down so I don't forget them
Think of your goal like a chain. A chain has links. When you struggle to complete a specific goal, it is because you don’t know how to link the links and create a chain. We ADHDers tend to have lofty goals that have many steps and decisions that eventually overwhelm and frustrate us. They require too many executive functions. Consider taking that goal and simplifying it into smaller consecutive goals.
How do personal values lead to personal growth? When you understand your values, they become the key indicators of how you measure personal growth and development. When you believe you have achieved something, it is because you have implemented your personal value. You will be fulfilled when you assert your personal values instead of implementing someone else’s personal values. Without identifying your personal values, you can continue to set goals and accomplish them but not personally develop them.
Peter Drucker said, “It’s much easier to develop existing strengths than to work on weaknesses, and the payoff is dramatically better.” Focusing on your weaknesses more than your strengths can lead you to anxiety, stress, and ultimately depression. Your strengths are your gift to the world! Always lead with your strengths and align your activities with your personal values.
Character strengths are the positive parts of your personality that impact how you think, feel, and behave.
Embracing mindfulness is a powerful step toward enhancing focus, reducing stress, and fostering a greater sense of well-being. By cultivating a state of present-moment awareness, you can bring clarity, calmness, and intention to your daily life.
Embracing mindfulness doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are three simple practices you can explore to cultivate mindfulness: Breath Awareness: Take a few moments throughout your day to bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensations of inhaling and exhaling, allowing your breath to anchor you in the present moment. Body Scan: Set aside time to perform a body scan meditation. Start from the top of your head and gradually move down, bringing your awareness to each part of your body. Notice any sensations or areas of tension and gently release and relax as you breathe. Mindful
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How can I create a bedtime routine that helps me wind down and prepare for sleep? What steps can I take to establish a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends? How can I create a sleep-friendly environment in my bedroom to promote restful sleep?
Accountability is a powerful tool that can help us stay on track and achieve our goals. When we hold ourselves accountable, we take ownership of our actions
Find an Accountability Partner: Seek out a trustworthy individual who shares similar goals or aspirations. Set clear expectations, define your goals, and establish a schedule for regular check-ins or progress updates.
Set Specific Goals and Deadlines: Clearly define your goals and break them down into actionable steps. Assign deadlines to each task to create a sense of urgency and ensure progress.
Track Your Progress: Use a tracking system, such as a journal, spreadsheet, or task management app, to monitor your progress. Regularly review and assess your achievements to st...
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Define Reward Milestones: Set specific milestones or goals that, when achieved, warrant a reward. It could be completing a challenging project, meeting a deadline, or reaching a significant milestone in your personal or professional life. Choose Meaningful Rewards: Select rewards that align with your values and bring you joy. They can be simple, such as indulging in your favorite treat, treating yourself to a spa day, or engaging in a hobby you love. Establish a Reward System: Create a system that ensures you follow through with rewarding yourself. It could be a checklist, a reward jar, or a
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Summary of the Ten Actions: 1a. Clarify Your To-Dos: Clearly define your to-dos to provide clarity and direction. 1b. Prioritize Your Tasks: Determine your most important tasks and focus on them first. 1c. Schedule Your Day: Create a clear roadmap of tasks and activities to stay focused and on track. 1d. Look at Your Schedule: Regularly review your schedule to be aware of commitments and priorities. 2. Time Yourself: Gain insights into task duration and allocate your time more efficiently. 3. Take Breaks: Rest, recharge, and maintain focus by incorporating regular breaks into your day. 4.
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