The Bonehunters (Malazan Book of the Fallen, #6)

by Steven Erikson

‘All right, then,’ Sergeant Hellian said, ‘which one of you wants to be my new corporal?’ Touchy and Brethless exchanged glances. ‘What?’ Touchy asked. ‘Us? But you got Balgrid and Tavos Pond, now. Or even—’ ‘It’s my new squad and I decide these things.’ She squinted over at the other soldiers. ‘Balgrid’s a mage. So’s Tavos Pond.’ She scowled at the two men. ‘I don’t like mages, they’re always disappearing, right when you want to ask them something.’ Her gaze slid across to the last two soldiers. ‘Maybe’s a sapper and enough said about that, and Lutes is our healer. That leaves…’ Hellian returned her attention to the twins, ‘you two.’ ‘Fine,’ said Touchy. ‘I’ll be corporal.’ ‘Hold on,’ Brethless said. ‘I want to be corporal! I ain’t taking no orders from him, Sergeant. Not a chance. I got the brains, you know—’ Touchy snorted. ‘Then, since you didn’t know what to do with them, you threw them away.’ ‘You’re a big fat liar, Touchy—’ ‘Quiet!’ Hellian reached for her sword. But then remembered and drew a knife instead. ‘Another word either of you and I’ll cut myself.’ The squad stared at her. ‘I’m a woman, see, and with women, it’s how we deal with men. You’re all men. Give me trouble and I’ll stick this knife in my arm. Or leg. Or maybe I’ll slice a nipple off. And you bastards will have to live with that. For the rest of your days, you’ll have to live with the fact that you were being such assholes that Hellian went and disfigured herself.’ No-one spoke. Smiling, Hellian res...