Joyful Recollections of Trauma: A Hilariously Cathartic Memoir-in-Essays of Childhood Turmoil, Self Healing, and Finding Happiness

by Paul Scheer

My wife’s father, a proudly religious man, suggested a compromise: Could he baptize Gus in our backyard instead? It was important for him to feel like our son was protected and looked after by God. We loved the idea, we thought it was a beautiful sentiment, and also we wanted to expand his protectors outside of the heavenly realm by inviting a small handful of people who were close to us.

I love that one of the ways we brought our child into the world was built around community, safety, and care—that’s my religion.

I’m not looking for someone to blame. That’s black-and-white. I’ve found peace in knowing that I can’t and shouldn’t penalize anyone for who they could have been, least of all my mom and dad. Judging them for what they couldn’t do then, and even what they can’t do now, doesn’t make anything better.

I discovered I thrived so much more when I surrounded myself with people who didn’t withhold their validation, who told me “you can” instead of “you can’t,” and supported me no matter what I did.