Seed to Harvest (Patternmaster, #1-4)

by Octavia E. Butler

Thus, when her enemies came to kill her, she knew more about surviving than they did about killing.

Here, there is only one abomination: disobedience. You will obey.”

Clay was slowly deciding to kill himself. It was slow because, in spite of everything, Clay did not want to die. He was just becoming less and less able to tolerate the pain of living.