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Are we committed to that street person vomiting in the gutter? Are we committed to the clerk who just shortchanged us, or to the person who acts superior to us?
Some call her a saint. I doubt that such a title means much to her; but what I found most remarkable was that she was just doing the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, totally absorbing herself in each task—which is what we need to learn. Her life is her work, doing each task wholeheartedly, moment after moment.
Before I can understand Thy Will, I must begin to see the illusion of my will: I must know as thoroughly as possible that my life consists of “I want” and “I want” and “I want.” What do I want? Just about anything, sometimes trivial, sometimes “spiritual,” and (most usually) for you to be the way I think you should be.
In watching Mother Teresa it is obvious that where no I want exists there is joy; the joy of doing what needs to be done with no thought of I want.
The life of Mother Teresa is not to serve the poor, but to respond to that summons or call.
All of our lives bring problems—or are we given opportunities?
To fulfill our concepts we’ll ruin families, nations, anything. All wars are based on concepts, some ideology that a nation says is the Truth. False mind is always dictatorial, always wants to fix the world to enforce the concept instead of being open to perceived need.
A “self” is simply a person who believes his or her concepts are the Truth, and is obsessed with doing anything possible to protect the self with concepts to promote its pleasure and comfort.
If we’re patient in a difficult situation, and hold our tongue (“You know, anybody else would really explode, but I’m patient”), what is the exchange we expect then? Someone should notice how patient we’ve been! Always we’re looking for the exchange; we might as well put a dollar sign on it. Or if we’re understanding and forgiving (“After all, anyone knows how difficult she is”) we expect what? If we sacrifice ourselves, what is the exchange we should get? Many parent-child games are in this area. “I’ve done everything for you—you ungrateful so and so!” This is the “exchange” mentality:
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When expectation fails—when we don’t get what we’re after—at that point, practice can begin. Trungpa Rinpoche wrote that “Disappointment is the best chariot to use on the path of the Dharma.” Disappointment is our true friend, our unfailing guide; but of course nobody likes such a friend.
When we refuse to work with our disappointment, we break the Precepts: rather than experience the disappointment, we resort to anger, greed, gossip, criticism.
Since daily life moves quickly, we don’t always have clear awareness of what’s happening. But when we sit still we can observe and experience our disappointment. Daily sitting is our bread and butter, the basic stuff of dharma. Without it we tend to be confused.
For Mushin there was nothing except just sitting: Hearing a few distant cars at night. Feeling the cool night air. Enjoying the changes in his body.
