The way we usually hold a relationship is that, “This relationship is there, out there, and it’s supposed to give me pleasure. At the very least, it shouldn’t give me discomfort.” In other words we make this relationship into a dish of ice cream. That dish of ice cream is there to give me pleasure and give me comfort. And very few of us view our relationship in any other light than, “There it is; I’ve picked you out, and you know what you’re supposed to do.” So ordinarily when we worry about relationships, we’re not talking about the nice parts. Often the nice parts may even be predominant.
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