The Letters We Keep

by Nisha Sharma

This is my first letter, but it may also be my last.

I’m afraid that you are their greatest fear, and one day I’ll have to choose between you and returning to them.

Secrets were more romantic in the shadows than in the light.

Maybe if he could understand her, he’d understand why he liked her so much, and then he’d understand himself.

She looked her age when she brightened with happiness. Young and eager to try every new experience college had to offer. Did he ever look as excited and happy as she did right in this moment? Maybe that’s why he was so drawn to spend time with her. Because these moments were fleeting. They were special, and he wanted to be a part of them with her. Better yet, he wanted to be the one to give them to her.

Your kiss has given me life. The feel of your mouth against mine is a memory I’ll keep in my heart forever.

“I’m going to fall in love with you,” she said, her voice shaking now, as if she was on the verge of tears. “I’m going to fall hard, and then we’re going to hurt each other because we just don’t make sense out in the real world.

I am better because of you, and without you, I’ll fade into the black-and-white world, the nonfiction existence that I had chosen to accept. But even with the possibility of this all going to shit, I’ll take my chance.”

I want to be with you. In your company. For as long as it lasts. And I promise you, no, I swear to you, that I will do everything I can to make sure that I support you in getting to your goals. I won’t stand in your way, I’ll be cheering you on. Because that’s how important you are to me.”

“You’re so fucking perfect for me, Jessie.”

Was this what it was like to be in love? Was this what people were so scared to find? No, she thought. This was what people were so scared to lose.

You can’t find meaning in someone else’s happiness. You have to find meaning in your own.

I love you more than I’ve loved anyone else in my life, and I know that if you give me a chance, I’ll do my best to always put you first.’”

“I love you, and no matter what else happens, that won’t change.”

“I love you, too.” Even if we break.

“Dada came to this country so that he could make a better life for our family. He did what he had to do so that we could all be successful. He would’ve wanted us to have a choice. Because that’s what he fought for.”

Reality was a cruel bitch sometimes, and people had tragic lives.

“I can’t not think about how much I love you and how much I would give up to be with you, too.”

“Come on, Christian,” Ravi murmured. “Help me get my girl back.”

My life, I don’t accept. I don’t accept your need to sever your life from mine. I don’t accept your excuses, your fear, or your paltry reasons for making other people happy while sacrificing your own happiness. I don’t accept that we are so different that we can’t overcome the barriers that society has erected in front of us. Yes, we will have higher mountains to climb, bigger hurdles to jump, and harder times ahead of us than most. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t do it.

I know you’re frightened because your father and your mother may do something to cut you off from the only family that you know. I’m scared, too, because my family would do the same. But they underestimate us. They underestimate how strong we are together, how resilient we can be. And one day, I know they’ll see that they were wrong, and they’ll ask for our forgiveness.

Your presence has been a fire in my heart and has ignited my soul. I want to spend the rest of my life cherishing you for bringing meaning to mine.

“Just having moments with you, living with you, Jessie, is a dream worth fighting for.”