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I knew I shouldn’t want to go back to that awful place, but it was like my mind was fractured. I didn’t want to go back, but I didn’t know anything else. Everything outside was new and terrifying.
“I’m the only one who gets to make you cry, Theo,” he said, holding my face in his hands. “No more tears for dead men, okay?”
“Why me?” I whispered in the dark. “Why’d you save me?” “Because I wanted you for myself.”
“Mom said I’m not allowed to harvest your organs,” I said as Shepherd placed two highball glasses on his desk. “She and Tatty also send their love.”
“Besides,” River cut in with a grin before it could, “I look hot as hell with a bloody lip.”
Anybody who spent as much time as he did bragging about being straight was most definitely not.
“Whatever you say, dick wizard.”
I mean, what was love? Just a chemical response in the brain, one that didn’t happen to me. I liked Theo, found him adorable and intriguing, and wanted to always have him with me, but I wasn’t ever going to be capable of putting his needs before mine. The only reason I took care of him was because it benefitted me. There wasn’t an altruistic bone in my body. I just wasn’t capable.
Hm we've found the snag. I do not like this. Very real-life male of River to only enjoy someone while they benefit him
“I’ve got no concept of romance, Theo.” “Yeah, but you’ve got to know that talking about dead grandmas is a definite mood killer.” “For some people.”
I looked up at him and said the words I’d been dreading saying because I was so afraid he wouldn’t return them. But maybe he didn’t have to return them. Maybe love wasn’t about give and take on both sides. It could be just me giving, and him taking what he needed, when he needed it, if that’s what worked for us.

