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While I wanted to take his hands and put them on me, I expected he’d only do it because I told him to, not because he wanted to. I wanted him to want me.
In other words, I own your dick, but I won’t suck it without your permission, no matter how much I want to.
“Though I’m a little darker than you. What color would you call that?” “Oh my god,” he choked out, flushing bright pink to his ears. “Never heard of that color. I was going to say brown sugar.” “You’re ridiculous,” he said, and for the first time, I saw his smile.
“I do,” I admitted with a shrug. “But not tonight.” “Why not?” He almost sounded disappointed. “Because I’ll never force you against your will, and you’re still afraid of me.” I took his hands and guided him toward the tub. “I don’t want to break you.”
“You’re safe here,” he promised. “This is the safest place, Theo. They’re never going to hurt you again.” My throat felt tight, and when I blinked, the corners of my eyes were damp. “How do you know?” I whispered into the dark. “Because I won’t let them.”
My chest and neck flushed hot. “But I’m more afraid of what will happen to me if there’s no one to take care of me.” “I won’t abandon you,” he promised, running his thumb over my bottom lip. “And I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promised you that already, little finch.” “I know, but other people have said the same.” “I told you I’m not like everyone else. But you need me to prove it, don’t you? That’s all right. I can do that.”
This is my home now. River’s going to take care of me. The thought shouldn’t have been as comforting as it was. I’d watched him kill a man the night before.
If nothing else, I would find and kill Theo’s former Master on my own. Fuck War. Fuck anyone who tried to stand in my way.
“Because I want to be the only one to make you come, little finch. I told you already. You’re mine to take care of, every part of you, and that includes your needy cock. You only come for me now, understand?”
“It means if I can’t have you, nobody will,” he said, looking forward again. “And I don’t know how far I’ll go to make sure that remains the case. But I won’t allow anyone to hurt you in a way you don’t want, not even me. I’ll kill anyone who tries.”
“No, you don’t. I need you to need me like an addict needs the needle. I want to be the fire burning in your veins, Theo. When you breathe, I want you drowning in your need to be with me.” “Fuck, River,” he panted and tipped his head back, exposing his beautiful, soft throat as he fucked himself. “That has to be the single hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me. And probably the most fucked up.”
River hadn’t treated me like a whore. He’d treated me like his whore.
“She left me alone, Theo, and I’ll never forgive her for leaving. I can’t. I hate her. I hope she’s rotting in hell for loving her fucking drug more than she ever loved me.”
“You can’t leave me, Theo.” Like his mother left him, I realized. Oh, River. My heart felt like it’d cracked in two. This was him at his most vulnerable.
I’d burn this whole world to ash just to have you. I own you, but you own me too, Theo.”
“Honestly, I don’t care what you know and what you don’t. I’m here for the entertainment value.” I took a step back and swung the sledgehammer low.
“Hannibal is a fictional boogeyman,” said Shepherd as he unrolled his tools. “An austere and refined gentleman monster. He had a sense of justice, a moral code that limited his choice of victim to those who he felt had personally wronged him. Thankfully, I have no such compunction.”
“Spoil him,” Shepherd said unexpectedly. “Give him time and space to process what he’s feeling. Encourage him to feel it and to express what he’s feeling however he thinks is appropriate. And in the meantime, you spoil the hell out of that young man, River. It isn’t every day you find someone willing to put up with you.”
He wrinkled his nose as he looked at Travis. “I wouldn’t feed him to pigs, let alone dine on him myself. That honor is reserved for worthy prey.” “You could’ve said no,” I pointed out. He smirked. “And you could have not asked.”
“I like understanding life cycles,” he explained, rubbing my back. “Mushrooms feed on dead matter and can grow in the most amazing places. Things most life would deem untouchable or inedible are the perfect home for fungi. They thrive on death, but more than that, they’re mostly harmless. While they feed on dead organisms, they don’t give anything in return. They don’t pollute. They’re like…the purest form of life.”
Most things are alive at the expense of some other organism, whether that’s a bacterium or a cow. Life needs death to thrive.
“Are you hearing any complaints from me?” He grinned and thrust his hips forward, his erection grinding against mine. “You can tie me down and ride me like the prize I am anytime.”
Vengeance doesn’t balance trauma. It’ll never bring you back so that you can know what I know, that there are good people in the world. Vengeance isn’t for the dead. It’s for the living, so I can’t promise it to you. But I can promise you that you won’t be forgotten.”
He was the darkness monsters feared.
“I want you to know I can make you come in less than three minutes if I wanted to,” I said. “I’m a fucking expert at blowjobs.” One of his eyebrows shot up. “And why do I need to know that?” “Because I don’t want you to come until I say you can.” He pursed his lips. “Ooh. I like this game.” “You might change your mind in three minutes,”
He yanked my head back by the hair mid-moan. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you can’t move.” “Promises, promises,” I chided with a smirk.
I wanted him to catch me, to make me, but I wanted him to work for it. The harder he was willing to do that and the more he was willing to endure to get me, the more excited I got.
“But we aren’t the type to feel sorry for ourselves, are we? Nor are we like River, whose rage is his righteous outlet. You are like me, caught up in the wild current of bigger personalities. Let me give you some life advice, little fish.” He gripped the bottle and turned it over in his hands. “Let the current carry you. Do not swim against it. You’ll wind up where you’re supposed to be.”
It’s good to be bad sometimes.”
You’re like some sort of…sexy psycho killer wizard with a big dick.” I snorted, holding back a laugh. “Technically, I’m a sociopath, not a psychopath.” “Whatever you say, dick wizard.”
“Because I like my steaks medium well and think wine tastes like someone pissed on perfectly good grapes,” I replied.
Careful, I might start to actually believe I’m a god. I sure worked miracles on you, huh?”
I had thought it wouldn’t count if it was a text message, but it did. Loving Theo was like putting down roots in good soil. It just made sense.
I help people look their best. It just so happens that sometimes their best look is six feet under.”
