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January 8 - January 11, 2025
leave, feeling like I showed up early at the amusement park only to find out it doesn’t open for another hour, and head to Mack’s.
I tell her that I’m pretty sure I blew my chance with her before I even knew I wanted it.
Doing something because someone else would like it is never insincere, especially if your goal is to prove to her that you want to put her feelings first.
A solid guy is better than some big, grand gesture. Focus on his strengths. He may not be charming, but is he kind? He may not be witty, but is he a good listener? He may not be romantic, but is he thoughtful in other ways?
Is it a little troubling that he’s not wearing socks with those loafers? Yes. Is it a deal breaker? I’m going to say no for now, but I reserve the right to change my mind.
There is nothing wrong with Chad. He’s a decent guy. He told me about his job, which was just south of interesting, and then somehow, we got on the topic of Lord of the Rings. We never got off that topic.
It makes no sense because honestly, she looks physically worse than I’ve ever seen her. But the desire to take care of her is so strong, I can’t go.
lean into his body, which smells like a combination of pine trees and heaven.
How is it possible to miss someone three seconds after they leave?
She smiles, and the room gets brighter.
“You have the rest of your life to be an idiot. Can’t you just take today off?”
don’t look away. I want to let myself feel whatever this is, this cord of electricity humming between us.
“Honey, he is speaking my language. Being thoughtful. Doing things that will show me he loves me. It doesn’t matter what the gesture is, if the intent behind it is to show someone you care, then it can be romantic.”
I’m starting to think that working up the courage to say how you feel is the grand gesture.
He looks over and I’m reminded once again that I am a goner. He’s wearing his trademark serious expression, but the second his eyes meet mine, it softens into something else.
don’t think I can speak logic to myself right now. Not when he’s standing here in my basement, a welcome trespasser in my home and in my heart.
My mother was right about his thoughtfulness. It’s in a romantic class all its own.
“But why?” The words are out before I can stop them. “I mean. . .” oh, boy “. . .why do you care?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks down. I’m expecting a shrug and a grunt, but he looks back up at me. “Because it’s you, Emmy.”
“Finally!” Affecting a Sunday morning preacher’s voice, he shouts, “Ladies and gentlemen, he speaks the truth!”
If our relationship is going to change, I’m going to have to be the one to change it.
I want to freeze and run at the same time.
trying not to let my questions ruin the moment.
I’m afraid if I speak I’ll scare him off and he won’t keep talking.
“But I don’t really want to be your friend anymore.” I can’t think straight. “You. . .don’t?” He shakes his head. “In fact, I can’t think of anything I’d rather be less.”
It’s the promise of a future.
How can I be so off-kilter and so at ease at the same time?
think we’re both seeing there’s more than one version of romance. Or maybe it’s just one version with two different sides.
The people in this town, people I gave no reason to believe in me, are here to celebrate my accomplishment.
