A Werewolf’s Guide to Seducing a Vampire (Glimmer Falls, #3)

by Sarah Hawley

Internal screaming was preferable to out-loud screaming, which was about all the silver lining Ben could find in this situation.

When in doubt, the standard assumption was that everyone secretly hated him.

She muttered to herself—something involving Jesus Christ, Thor, and an expletive. Despite their mother’s civilizing attempts, Gigi was an equal-opportunity curser, name-dropping whatever deity, historical figure, or swear word felt natural at the time.

Would she ever be able to look at a person and think: I am safe with you?

“Instinct,” he repeated. “Throwing cheese is a vampire instinct?”

“I will make sure no one accosts you or otherwise jeopardizes your person.” He chuckled and shook his head, then extended his elbow. “Then let’s go do that horrible activity known as socializing.”

“No Austenian tentacles.

“I can’t tell if it’s a good sign that I don’t even question half the things you do anymore.”

She was absolutely going to suck his penis, and she was going to make him put on a sweater vest before doing it.

Maybe she could sue the Witch in the Woods for back wages. Then she’d disembowel her.

“If you don’t vacate this establishment right now,” Eleonore announced loudly, “I will rip out your spine and beat you with it.”

“Tricky wolf,” she said with no true ire. “You know I can’t be angry when faced with grilled cheese.”

And really, every good couple should have a soft one and a stabby one.”

As she launched into a disturbing tale involving beheading and insect necrophilia, Ben settled his cheek on her hair and reflected that he’d never been so happy to be horrified in his life.

“did you nearly poke an eye out with a knitting needle because you’ve been working around the clock?”

Werewolf of action, maybe. Werewolf of public speaking? Never.

Had Eleonore yanked out the witch’s intestines and knitted a hat from them? No, but strangely, she didn’t mind that so much.

“Remind me never to drink alcohol before committing a crime.”

I will strive to always be just as anxious and awkward.”