“Why don’t I talk you through how we’ll welcome you on social media?” Parker says. “It won’t be so bad. You’ll see.” Doubtful. There’s no way she could package this in a way that makes it not so bad. Unless she’s going to let me get away with not speaking and barely showing my face. Chances of that are nonexistent. “I’ll ease you in with a player profile,” Parker says, clicking her mouse until a printer whirs to life, sounding almost as loud as her computer. When Parker leans back to grab the single sheet from the printer, I tense, ready to leap across the desk and catch her if the chair gives
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