Dept. of Speculation

by Jenny Offill

There is still such crookedness in my heart. I had thought loving two people so much would straighten it.

When I was younger, I had several serious bouts of depression and part of me hoped that I was so dark-minded because I lived alone; that loneliness itself was making me feel that way. It was a shock to discover years later when I was married and a mother that that “crooked” feeling never completely disappeared.