He's Not My Type (The Vancouver Agitators, #4)

by Meghan Quinn

Eli Hornsby—the pretty boy. Pacey Lawes—the elder of the group. And Silas Taters—the asshole.

I don’t know who this is or what she’s doing here, but she is easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my tired eyes on.

She turns toward me, her eyes connecting with mine, and fucking hand to heart, I feel this jolt of possession rock through me so fucking hard that I have to catch my breath. I can’t tell you the last time I felt something like this.

But hell, this girl has me all twisted up inside. One look and my palms started sweating, I felt tongue-tied, and my heart raced faster than when I was chasing down a puck against an opponent. With one look, she brought me back to life.

Narrator: Unfortunately for Halsey Holmes . . . it wasn’t a one-and-done interaction. In fact, he’s seen her almost every day in the hallway of the arena, which has only enabled his crush to the point that when he runs into her . . . he burns. Poor, poor Halsey.

“Want one?” Oden asks, holding out a piece of gum to me.

“Yes, a plan. That’s what we need,” Hornsby says. “We could do a flash mob,” Posey suggests. “Over my dead body,” Silas replies. “Don’t be a douche about it. Just ask her out.” “Don’t be a douche?” Pacey asks with a shake of his head. “Coming from the guy who had to fake-date someone to fall in love.” “You fake-dated someone?” OC asks. “What the hell is going on here?” “It’s simple,” Posey says, leaning against Pacey’s chair. “Pacey, here, was the start of the love train. He fell in love with a hopeless wanderer up in Banff. Her name is Winnie, and she got lost in the woods, stayed the night in Silas’s cabin with the rest of us like the true champ that she is, and Pacey peed on her, said she was his, and now they’re engaged.” “I didn’t pee on her,” Pacey interjects. “That brings us to Eli Hornsby. Our former ladies’ man⁠—” “Coming from the biggest ladies’ man on the team,” Hornsby says, gesturing to Posey—which, that’s a fact. He is. He just doesn’t get called out for it. Posey continues. “On his birthday, he was looking for someone to bang, and he found her, Pacey’s sister.” “Can you not say it that way?” Hornsby asks. “And he got her pregnant,” Posey says with gusto. The fucking storyteller of the group. “It was a long road for them. Jesus, the amount of time it took for Eli to finally realize he could give in to loving her. Some might say the author of his story could have cut out the last fifteen percent, and everyone would have still been pleased with the outcome.” “N...

And then there’s Posey, mouthing . . . “She’s here. She’s here,” while subtly pointing to the side, right at her. I know, you fucking moron, I have eyes!

“Holmes isn’t happy, and he doesn’t have a lot of sex,” Posey says out of fucking nowhere. Uh . . . what? Blakely brings her attention to me with a tilt of her head. “Not having a lot of sex, Holmes?” Kill me. Kill me right fucking now. “I mean, he has sex,” Posey interjects. “But not like the other guys, you know? He’s not a virgin if that’s what you’re thinking. Far from a virgin. Although there was a point in time when I wondered if he even had genitals⁠—” “Shut . . . up,” Silas mutters, thankfully. “Right.” Posey clears his throat. “Anyway, he has a spare bedroom, and he’s not part of a happy couple, and for all we know, he doesn’t have an infant, so you know, you could stay with him.” What the actual fuck is he doing? Blakely, stay with me? I can barely look at her or talk to her. Sharing a living space would probably send me into a nervous breakdown. “Are you his landlord?” Blakely teases. “More like his hairy godmother.” Posey makes himself laugh . . . and only himself.

“Sherman, right?” Silas asks, getting in on it. Oh, look who’s dead to me as well. Posey and Silas, both dead to me.

Mark my words, you and Blakely are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend by the end of the season.

“What the hell do you do with your money?” he asks with a shake of his head. “Invest. Save. I don’t know. Buy books.”

Perhaps this sounds wrong, but I want to be someone’s world. Not someone who’s easy to leave.

“What’s his name?” Penny asks. “Huxley Cane. Have you heard of him?” Penny shakes her head. “No.” “Well, he has a business with his two brothers, and they’ve made some impressive moves. They’re investors in The Jock Report.” “Oh wait, I do know about them. Didn’t Ollie go to one of them for a job?” “Yes, she went to JP Cane, who connected her with Ryot Bisley. Anyway, they run a few charities, and being that they’re now friends with Silas, I’m trying to pull all the connections together. And to be honest, I’m slightly intimidated.” “Why?” Penny asks. “During my research, I learned very quickly that Huxley Cane is the type of man who doesn’t take shit from anyone. He’s very cutthroat in the boardroom. He’s made moves to benefit his company and his brothers, and he did it at such a young age. Not to mention . . . he’s very good-looking.” “Is he married?” I nod. “Yes, recently, and I believe his wife just had a baby. I swear I’ve seen his wife before.” “What do you mean?” “I saw a picture of her, and she looked so familiar. I couldn’t place her, and it’s still driving me nuts.” I shake my head. “Anyway, it should be interesting. I want to get settled in here and prepare for tomorrow’s meeting.”

In my opinion, revealing a man’s bare feet is as scandalous as a brief glimpse of a woman’s ankle back in the 1800s.

“Here is the gist of it,” Silas says, getting more involved than I expected him to. Posey must have gotten to him. “Blakely is staying with Holmes. Holmes loves her. Blakely was offered a potential new job that could make her move, and Holmes is unsure if she’s going to take it or not. He clearly doesn’t want to lose her because he’s madly in love. Therefore, Posey came up with an action plan called Break Blakely where Holmes walks around with his shirt off in the apartment and does nice things for her to show her that he’s boyfriend material. We’re in the early phases, but from the rocket in his pants today, and I’m not talking about the girth-o-nater, name courtesy of OC⁠—” “Thank you.” OC bows. “I’m going to guess that the earlier phases have started to make an impact, and our friend here is feeling the effects of some female attention from his unrequited love. And obviously, if you tell Penny any of this, we’re allowed to cut off one of your fingers, courtesy of the NDA agreement you just electronically signed.” “The finger thing was a holdup for me. I thought it was kind of weird,” Eli says.

“We decided losing a finger was a good threat. We kept toes for skating balance, dicks for pleasure, and hair wasn’t threatening enough. A finger was a good option. It lets you know we’re not fucking around. But there was the amendment to the finger. Did you see it?” Pacey asks. Eli nods. “A trial of holding a stick without one finger. If it doesn’t go well, the group collectively gets to pierce the offenders belly button and add a permanent charm that shall never ever be removed.”

Consider Eli dead. I don’t think he can stomach the pressure. He’s softened since he’s become a dad. Penny: There is nothing soft about him! Posey: Christ, Silas, don’t anger it. Penny: It? Posey: HER! I meant her! Don’t anger her. That was my phone. Not me. I’d never call you it. Please God, don’t make my nipples raw like yours.

Are you calling me raw nipples as a nickname, new guy? Posey: Oh dear God. It’s angered. Posey: I mean she! She’s angered. Silas: Well, there go my balls again. Pacey: I can’t breathe, this is hilarious. OC: NO! I didn’t call you raw nipples. I meant the topic of raw nipples. Penny: Does a woman’s postpartum body offend you, new guy? Posey: For the love of God, apologize and stop talking. OC: Please forgive me. I will not say anything else. Just . . . don’t kill me.

“Impressive, but check this out,” I say before attempting to shove the entire pizza into my mouth . . . but failing miserably when the pizza hits the back of my throat and my gag reflex kicks in, causing me to pull the whole thing out. Mouth slightly full, she laughs, tears springing to her eyes. She takes deep breaths as she chews and then swallows. She washes it down with a lime La Croix and says, “Oh my God, you’re such a man. That gag reflex is strong on you.” She leans forward and elbows me like we’re chums. “Not something I ever had to worry about.” Jesus. Christ. Didn’t need to know that. Because now that’s all I’m going to think about. That and the way she was able to unhinge her jaw. “Ooo, was that TMI?” she asks. “No.” I shake my head. “Just surprised, as I haven’t met a girl without a gag reflex.” I pause and tilt my head. “Shit, that sounded bad.” She chuckles. “Ooo, tell me more.” “Yeah, I’d rather not.” “Damn.” She smirks. “And the conversation was just about to get good.”

I’m not going to touch her in bed. That’s completely uncalled for. And what kind of touching are we talking about? OC: GRAB HER TIT! Pacey: Dude. OC: Right, sorry. I charged into that rather quickly. Please disregard.

Why was your hand that high? I mean, understandable if you were reaching for my grandma’s lower back or stomach and accidentally touched a boob since my grandma’s hang low, but Blakely? Silas: Are you really calling your grandma’s boobs low-hanging? Dude, show a little respect. Pacey: Ninety-five percent of the grandma population has breasts that are neighbors with their belly buttons, but we don’t talk about it. Those boobs have seen things . . . respect their journey. OC: Sorry.

“I need a solid answer, Blakely. Do you want him?” From the way Halsey holds his breath and grips my waist so tightly, it almost feels like my answer rests heavily on his heart. I wet my lips delicately, then say, “I don’t want him.” He slowly nods and whispers, “Then you’re mine for the night.” And before I can ask him what that means, he leans down, closing the space between us. To my utter shock and surprise, he gently presses a kiss to my lips. It’s so faint, so featherlike, that I almost feel like I’m imagining it until a bolt of lust spikes through me, awakening a sleepy sexual beast that’s been in a slumber for quite some time. Oh my God . . . He pulls away and whispers, “Let’s get drinks.” Yes . . . drinks. Please drinks.

Before I can stop myself, I close the last of the space, grip her face with both hands, and crash my mouth down on hers. I don’t have to wait for her to reciprocate. It’s immediate. She drops her clutch to the ground and throws her arms around me, kissing me back with such force. She’s . . . she’s fucking kissing me back. Fuck.

Then I flip her over to her stomach and prop her ass up in the air. I smooth my hand over the smooth skin right before spanking her, leaving a red mark right where I like it. “Oh fuck, Halsey.” I pause before doing it again and lean forward. Speaking close to her ear, I ask, “Did that hurt?” “Yes.” “Do you want it again?” She takes a second, swallows, and then nods. “Yes.” I smile and then place a kiss between her shoulder blades, down her spine, right on her ass, and then lift and spank her again. “Fuck,” she groans. This time, it’s a pleasurable sound. “Oh my God, why do I like that?” “Because you’re my good girl who likes to be punished.” I spank her again, and she groans into the mattress.

“I . . . I’m close.” She starts to clench, but I’m not there yet. I don’t want her coming yet, so to my dismay, I pull out of her only for her sweet protest to fill the room. “Halsey.” “You’re coming on my cock when I tell you.” I bring my body closer to her face and say, “Open up that pretty little mouth for me.” Eyes wide, she pauses for a moment, but then she slowly opens up. I slide just the tip past her lips, where she sucks on it, her tongue swirling around the opening.

She smirks up at me when I’m done, and I can’t take that look. I fall back on the bed and drape my hand over my face. She doesn’t say anything. She just kisses my cheek and goes to the bathroom again. Fuck . . . me. I don’t think I can have her wake me up one more goddamn time. This night might be the death of me. At least I’ll die a happy man.

I wash my hair, my face, and let the warm water rinse over me for a few more minutes before I turn it off and step out of the shower. That’s when I look in the mirror for the first time and feel my jaw nearly drop to the floor. Holy. Shit. I look like a leopard, spotted and marked all along my neck, my collarbone, my chest, my breasts. Deep purple bite marks. Hickeys scattered all over me. I approach the mirror, towel in hand, and examine the markings. “Oh my God,” I say as my fingers pass over them, one by one, examining every single way he claimed me. And I know he meant to claim me because he said it. He gave me the play-by-play of what he was doing, what he was feeling, what he wanted me to do. His dirty voice still rings through my head, his words sending a chill down my spine. I want my cum on your face. This greedy cunt wants more, doesn’t it? Use me as your fuck toy. My cheeks flame, and I look away from the mirror, embarrassment and satisfaction hitting me at the same time.

Eli winces. “Sounds brutal. What did you do that fucked everything up?” “I slept with her last night.” The boys stop everything they’re doing and slowly turn toward me. A naked man could come flying in here, do the helicopter with his wiener, and they wouldn’t even blink an eye as silence falls around us. And from their expressions, I can tell that’s not what they were expecting to hear. Silas has a giant smirk. Eli looks shocked. And Posey . . . well, his jaw drags across the floor. “You . . . you slept with her?” Posey asks. I nod. “Yeah, and not only did we sleep together, but we fucked.” I lean my head against the wood of the locker. “Several times.”

Posey holds out his hand. “Let me see your phone.” Silas slaps his hand to my chest, holding me back. “Don’t. Don’t you let him touch your fucking phone. He’ll text her and make an ass of you.” “I’m an expert at texting,” Posey says. “I don’t know about that . . .” Eli replies. Posey gives Eli the side-eye. “Coming from the man who texted Penny about eating a fucking apple. I saved that relationship for you.” He looks at Silas and says, “And the reason you got sexy pictures from Ollie was because of me.” “You texted her, oye my dick,” Silas says. “And guess who has a live-in girlfriend now.” Posey points at Silas. “You’re fucking welcome.” He holds his hand out to me again. “Now let me fix this for you. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

“Halsey Holmes has the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.” When I look up, I watch a slow smile creep over Penny’s lips. She whispers back, “How big?” I wet my lips and say, “I stopped breathing for a second when he started . . . slipping it in. Took a good minute or so for him to, you know, fully get in there.” She leans back in her chair and stares up at the ceiling. “Wow, that’s great. Good for you.” “No, not good for me.” Her smile disappears as she brings her gaze back to me. “What do you mean not good for you? Did he hurt you? Is that why you walked in here weird?” “He didn’t hurt me, but yes, I’m walking weird because I sat on a light post several times last night.” She chuckles. “Penny, this isn’t funny.” “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the panic. It seems like you had a good night last night.” “It wasn’t just good, Penny,” I whisper again. “It was life-altering.” “Explain to me how that’s bad.” I lean back in my chair and say, “I don’t know how to explain this other than . . . I feel like the world lied to me.” “What do you mean?” “Penny, I had no idea sex could be like that. That I could experience that much pleasure in a matter of like . . . seven hours. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and not just because of his penis.” Penny smirks. “He was . . . God, it was like he knew everything about my body that I didn’t even know. He knew exactly what I needed before I could even consider where I wanted him or what I wanted him to do. And then . . .” I bite on ...

“Wait.” Penny holds up her hand. “Halsey Holmes is a dirty talker?” “That’s putting it mildly,” I say. “The things he said to me, the way he said it, I still can feel my body tremble from the memory of it. When I say last night was life-altering, I’m not kidding, and it’s really freaking me out.” “But why?” “Because,” I say, feeling exhausted just thinking about it. “I was with Perry since college. Before him, I had a few interactions with men, but he was truly a first for a lot. I was—what I thought—madly in love with him. I thought we were going to get married. He was good to me. Sweet and funny. He taught me what love was. And we had great sex together. I was satisfied. He was what I knew up until last night. And the fact that I could have a mind-blowing, spectacular night with a man who I’ve . . . well, who I’ve become friends with, it’s throwing me for a loop. The things we did, they were ungodly.” I press my hand to my forehead. “For God’s sake, Penny, I woke him up in the middle of the night by sitting on his lap and helping myself. I’ve never done that, but I was insatiable. He was my drug last night that I became fully addicted to after one orgasm.” I shake my head and blow out a deep breath before looking Penny in the eyes and saying, “I was cock-shocked, and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“Why would he say that? That is the unsexiest thing he could have said, especially after the things he said to me last night.” I place my hand on the desk and say, “Penny, he told me to use him as my sex toy.” I watch her cheeks turn a shade of pink. “He said that?” she whispers. “Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. It was an unreal experience. So why would he send this text message?”

Thanks for impaling me with your giant stick. My mouth goes dry as I slowly look up at the boys. Posey smiles and says, “From the look on your face, I bet you owe me a thank-you. Go ahead, I’m all ears. Lay it on me.” “Fuck off,” I say as I sit back down on the bench.

“Why are you wearing clothes?” Because I’m the fool who thinks that we can forget about what happened last night. In reality, we can’t forget about it at all. His hand moves out from under my shirt, which makes me want to protest, but then, his dexterous fingers start unbuttoning my silk top. “This should not be on you,” he says as he makes his way up to the top. I don’t even think I can unbutton my shirt that fast yet, he does it with one hand. When he’s done, he parts the shirt open, exposing my breasts, and he cups one of them in his rough, calloused hand. I try to hold back, but I groan as I press my ass into his erection. “Mmm, that’s it, baby. I knew you weren’t sleeping.” Of course I wasn’t, how could I, knowing he was going to slip into bed with me?

“For me,” I answer. His lips smile against my neck. “Liar.” He pulls the hem up, exposing my thong, and then he tugs on my underwear, pulling it down my legs until they’re completely off. He then adjusts my skirt back and moves around to the front of me. “You don’t need this.” He holds up my thong and then sticks it in the waistband of his shorts. He reaches for his coffee, leans against the counter, and says, “Have a good day.” Uh . . . he wants me to just walk out of here without underwear? I’m all for some kink, but this dress is short. “Halsey, I need my underwear.”

“As far as I’m concerned, you don’t,” he says and then moves into the kitchen where he pulls the carton of eggs from the fridge, almost as if he’s dismissing me. What is happening? Who is this man and what has he done with the Halsey I thought I knew? Because the quiet, understated man I’ve lived with for a few weeks is nowhere to be seen. He’s an alpha male with my thong hanging over the waistband of his shorts, and there has to be a reason for that.

I pick up the thinner vibrator and put some lube on it, then hand it to her and say, “Play with me.” Her eyes light up when she realizes what I want. “Really?” she asks, her breath picking up. “Do whatever the fuck you want to me, just make me come.”

She releases my hand, and she walks off to her bedroom, where she shuts the door. I grip my hands together on the top of my head and let out another deep breath. Fuck, I did it. A large smile spreads across my lips. I fucking did it. Turning away from her, I grab my duffel bag and head into my bedroom, where I strip down and get ready for bed, thinking how proud Holden would be. If he were here right now, I’d text him that she said yes, and he’d probably say something like, “Finally, you dickhead. Took you long enough.” Just the thought of it makes me chuckle as I finish brushing my teeth.

The date is with Blakely, you fucking idiots. Pacey: Really? Posey: Wait . . . seriously? Silas: Dude, you asked her out? OC: Okay, is it weird that I just got butterflies? Halsey: She’s not moving. She’s staying here. I told her how I felt last night, that I’ve been pining after her for over a year. And I asked her out. She said yes, then she fell asleep in my arms. Posey: **Jaw drops to the ground** Silas: Holy shit. Pacey: Well, that’s a fucking 180. Eli: Oh yeah, Penny told me she wasn’t moving this morning. I was too busy with Holden to relay. Posey: Jesus, Eli!

“Seems like it. Are you having fun?” “Penny,” I say, swallowing hard. “Yes?” she asks. “I really like him. Like, I’m so overwhelmed with how much I like him that I had to take a step back. Right now, he’s acting like the man I first started living with. It feels effortless being near him now that the awkwardness has faded and we started talking again. It’s kind of scary how much I like him, and I needed to call you because I didn’t want to freak out. This is too soon, right? I’m having feelings for a man, and it’s too soon. I shouldn’t have these strong feelings for someone else when I just got out of a long relationship.” “Yes, you did just get out of a long relationship. But I also think that if you and Perry had still been in love with each other—actively dating each other—then the breakup would have shattered you. I wonder if your relationship had already fizzled out by the time you ‘broke up’. It may be that Halsey came into your life at just the right time. Exactly when you were ready for someone new.” Hmmm. I hadn’t thought about it like that. “You need to listen to your heart and follow that, not what people might think. If you like him, then you like him. Plain and simple. And take it from someone who waited a long time to be with the person they wanted to be with. If you like him, just accept it.” I mull that over and then quietly say, “He likes me, Penny. He’s liked me for a long time.”

“Sorry for what?” he asks. “That I didn’t know about your crush, that you had to watch me with someone else. That you had to wait so long.” “You don’t need to apologize. You were worth the wait, Blakely.” And with that, it’s solidified. I can see myself falling fast and hard for this man if I haven’t started already.

He’s been so much more transparent since he started opening up. He acknowledges he’s not far along the path of grieving, but that’s okay too. He wants me. He waited for me. And he’s so generous with his heart.

“Do you ever watch porn?” “What do you think the answer to that is?” Mischievously she dances her fingers over my chest. “Yes.” “You would be right. At the moment though, since you’ve been around, I haven’t needed it.” “What did you like to watch?” she asks. I shrug. “Didn’t matter. I don’t have a specific kink. Anything that would get me hard, really. Why . . . do you have something you like watching?” She shakes her head, but I can tell she’s lying. “We’re honest, right?” I ask her and she nods. “So tell me.” “It’s embarrassing.” “No, it’s not,” I say. “There is nothing embarrassing about getting turned on, it’s natural.” She moves her teeth over her bottom lip before she says, “I really like watching guy-on-guy porn.” “Really?” I ask, surprised. “Huh, I wouldn’t have guessed that.” “There’s just something about it. I don’t know. Two dicks are better than one.” My brow raises. “Well, just so you know, I don’t share. There will only be one dick in this relationship.” She laughs. “Trust me, Halsey, you have enough dick in your pants for four men.” “Good answer.” She plays with the collar of my shirt. “Would you ever watch it with me?” “Sure,” I say. “Really?” she asks with a look of surprise. “Yeah, why not? If you’re into that, then sure, babe.” She shakes her head almost in disbelief. “Perry would never.” “Good fucking thing I’m not Perry.” “You certainly are not.”

That brought a smile to my face. So let’s pick an S name. How about . . . Shonda after Shonda Rhimes. I know how much you loved Queen Charlotte. Blakely: True, true, but I kind of want this little girl to be her own person, you know? To not have to live up to the name. Shonda gives her some big shoes to fill.

Now let’s load your books on the shelves. The only thing we need to talk about is how you want them organized.” “I don’t care.” He shrugs. “Just stick them on there.” I clutch my hand to my chest. “Dear God, Halsey. I’m not even a big reader and I know that’s sacrilege. You can’t just stick the books up there. There needs to be purpose to it.” “Why though? I don’t care.” “Clearly, given where you’ve been storing all of your books, but now that they’re going to have a new home, let’s treat them with some decency. Now your choices are as follows: we can group them by author, or genre, or by color.” “What do you mean by color?” he asks. “Well, don’t let me influence you, but it might be fun to do what the Home Edit does.” “What the hell is that?” he asks. I roll my eyes. “I should have known, given the state of your apartment when I arrived. The Home Edit are two ladies that have revolutionized the way we organize our houses. Their claim to fame is turning everything into a rainbow. So if you have a bunch of crayons, you organize them into rainbow order. Or books . . . you group them by color and put them in rainbow order.”

I’d like to think that it would be important to relay news of my father’s death to me, but this family has fallen apart so tragically that I don’t think we know how to treat each other like decent human beings anymore.

During the darkest time of my life, when I was walking through every day with no purpose and simply going through the motions, a sliver of light awoke the dead inside me. That light was Blakely. And the more I got to know her, the more I realized she was sent to me and meant to be in my life. And I like to believe Holden had a big part in making that happen.

And just like that . . . it feels like I’m not only surrounded by my older brother but by Holden as well. Fuck, this feels right. Losing Holden was the toughest thing I’ve ever endured. But if I’ve learned one thing through such devastating loss, it’s that the sun still rises the next day. And the day after that. Life continues its motion. Waiting for your return. It’s okay to stay in that darkness for a while. It’s okay to grieve your loss. Live the pain. Mourn. But then, when you can, it’s time to climb out. When you can, it’s time to look at every element of your life and see that there is still joy in it. Even in the shape of four crazy-ass hockey players. It’s time to lean on those who’ve walked alongside you. And if you’re really lucky, you might find a love that reaches deep inside, finds the pain-filled hole, and holds it. Shares it with you. Carries it. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve Blakely White’s love, but I will treasure it for the rest of my days.