The Devil Made Me Brew It (The Witches of Wayward Bay)

by Sarah Piper

The laughter echoes down the empty street, and that thing inside my chest kicks me in the ribs again, Taco Tuesday back to haunt me, and suddenly I want to make her laugh like that all over again. Which also makes me want to set my own arsehole on fire because wake the fuck up, Devlin. This isn’t some quaint little rom-com sidequest. I’m trapped here.

Hey girl! This is your vagina speaking, what is UP? Sorry I’ve been out of touch for the past twelve to thirteen months… I was off looking into early retirement options—I mean, after the whole Brandt debacle, I really thought we were closing down for good this time. But then along comes Mr. Hot, Broody, and British, going at that sandwich like tonguing is an Olympic event, and hell-oooo! I’m baaaack! Pretty sure I speak for both of us when I say it’s high time we climb aboard that D-train and ride it all the way to Pound Town, round-trip on the daily and twice on Sundays, let’s gooo!

happily dodging even more goblin-face children who are as eager for candy as my own party guests are for their multi-colored pills, and now I understand how it all begins, peanut butter cups being the obvious gateway drug.

“Portaled out through the men’s room—super classy. Said he couldn’t wait—he had somewhere more important to be than, and I quote, Hallmark Halloween Central. So I told him to go fuck himself, to which he said, ‘Or what?’ And I said, ‘or I’ll dip you in wax and light your dick like a birthday candle.’” I roll my eyes. “Who hurt you, Olivy? Goodness, the threats. Honestly.” “Your friend didn’t take it as a threat. He asked me to marry him, actually.” She laughs. “Sick fuck.” “Yes, that’s definitely Finn. So when’s the big day?”

I want a quiet life. A good life. One where I can make the same woman laugh every single night, over and over and over until we collapse in our bed, tired and happy. I want to grow old with her, as ridiculous as that sounds, watching her brew her magic teas and joke with her sisters and take care of her aunts and maybe have a few adventures together along the way.”

“Because for the first time since the dawn of Hell, you and your family allowed me to be part of something infinitely smaller yet unfathomably bigger than I’d ever experienced before or since.

You ask how I know what I feel for you is real? Because for the first time in this impossibly long existence, I want to be real. Real with someone. For someone. Because of someone. And it’s you, Violet. It’s always been you. I’m in love with you, and that’s all there is to it.”