“I’m not that old.” “Old enough to know what dial-up Internet was like.” I point a finger at my chest and say, “Which makes me a fucking pioneer. You have no idea the kind of stress I suffered when I wanted to check my AOL messaging while my parents were expecting a phone call. It wasn’t easy.” She pats my cheek. “Poor baby.” “That’s right, poor baby. I should be compensated for the time I spent listening to that godforsaken screeching while the Internet connected.”
