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“Caoimhe wasn’t the one who was raped!” Claire screamed at the top of her lungs, and I swear to god my heart stopped dead in my chest. “It wasn’t her, Lizzie! Mark didn’t rape your sister!” And then, she blew my world when she pointed a finger at me and screamed, “He raped my boyfriend!”
Blind love led me into his arms, and blind loyalty led me to betray him.
he continued to stare at me like he was seeing a stranger instead of the person he’d spent his whole life adoring. Instead of seeing me.
he
choked out a pained cry and ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck!” Losing his cool, he looked up the night sky and roared the word, “Fuck,” at the top of his lungs. “You fucking push, Claire. You push and you push!” He threw his hands up helplessly. “And I don’t have anything left to give.”
“I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” “You don’t mean that.” “Yeah, I do.” Tears trickled down his cheeks as he cried. “I’m not your boyfriend, Claire Biggs, and I’m not your friend.”
“Fuck…” His voice cracked and I watched as this huge boy, with limitless popularity and pull, broke down in front of us. “Fuck!” Head bowed, he clutched at his hair and continued to stare at the letter. “Fuck, Gibs.” A pained cry escaped him. “Not you, lad.” His big shoulders racked with shudders. “Not fucking you, Gibs!”
“I can’t.” Lizzie hiccupped a sob. “Not after tonight.” Neither could I. “Don’t ever speak to me again, Lizzie Young,” I warned, and then, truly disappointed in myself, I walked away from one of my oldest friends in the world for the sake of another.
His hand was on the back of my neck, pinning my face into the mattress. “Daddy,” I tried to scream, but he couldn’t hear me all the way from heaven. “Come back and take me with you.” “Just stay down and take it, you little bastard!”
“It hurts,” I strangled out, my body bowing in agony when I felt something impale me from behind, ripping my small body in half. “That’s it,” he grunted as he continued to hurt me, pushing me, deeper, harder, rougher. “I’ll make a fucking man out of you, ya little pussy.” “Stop.” I was crying. I knew I was. My mouth was open, I could feel tears trickling down my cheeks, but my voice wasn’t coming out. “Please stop.” Numb, I felt the life leave my body, fading quicker every time he rammed his privates into mine, as the pain grew worse, and my mind started to wander away…
You’re always okay, aren’t ya?”
“Oh god, Gerard, is it true?” My mam was crying in the distance. “What do you mean, is it true?” That was my old friend Hugh. “Of course it’s fucking true, Sadhbh! Look at him.” “Gibs!” Was Feely crying? “Gerard!” My walking heartbeat.
“They know, don’t they?” I whispered, slumped against him. “Everyone knows.” His arms tightened around me, and he pulled me closer. “You’re going to be okay.” “All the things he did to my body.” Feeling lifeless, I stared blankly ahead, feeling the tears trickling down my cheek. “I didn’t want any of it, Johnny.”
“I know you didn’t, Gibs…” He choked out a pained cry and continued to rock me back and forth. “I believe you.” “I don’t want her to know.” “Claire?” I nodded, feeling empty. “She won’t be able to love me now.” “She already loves you,” he strangled out. “We all love ya.” Sniffling, he pulled me closer and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I love the fucking bones of you, ya mad eejit.” He choked out a pained laugh. “And if you think this is going to chase me off, then you’ve another thing coming, fucker, because I’m never leaving you. Do ya hear
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Instead, for the first time since my father died, I let it all out.
he’ll push away to the point where you doubt your own sanity. But your ability to love him through it is what will make the difference. Because, at the end of the day, that’s all we can do, babe.”
I was terrified that I never would. Not the way we were, at least. Not like before.
“You loved her once.” “Yeah, Hugh, we both did, and look where it got us.” “Don’t turn your back on her, Claire.” He swallowed deeply. “She needs you.”
started. I wasn’t that same little boy who had buried his father and sister the month before his stepbrother pinned him to the edge of his bed and defiled his body. I wasn’t the eight-, nine-, ten-, or eleven-year-old version of that kid anymore, either.
now. I had a girlfriend,
Because every second of panic, pain, guilt, and fear of the unknown that had built its way up inside of me since the dance was exploding out of my head and into this kiss.
“I just need some time to figure out who I’m supposed to be now,” he explained hoarsely when he broke our kiss. “I’ve been hiding for so long that I don’t
even know who I am.” Expelling a shaky breath, he rested his hands on my shoulders and offered me a vulnerable shrug. “And I’m going to need some time to do that.”
core ten,
Trouble was brewing between our friends. I could feel it. I could taste it. But the lines had been drawn. And I would forever stand with this boy. After all, taming 7 had been the adventure of my lifetime.
