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Moments before the pain in my lungs exploded and everything went dark, I saw it. A halo of light. An orb of pure sunshine. Her. I saw her. And that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew…
“When they said someone had been saved from the water. I prayed for it to be you.”
“She’s scared of the dark.” “Bethany?” “Yeah.” “It’s okay, though, because your daddy is with her, so he’ll keep her safe.” “What about me?” he whispered as a lone tear trickled down his cheek. “Who’ll keep me safe?” “I will, silly,” I replied, releasing his hand so that I could give him a hug. “I’ll keep you safe, Gerard.”
“But your hugs feel like sunshine.” “Like sunshine?” I frowned in confusion. “How?” “Because you are sunshine, silly,”
“I mean it,” he urged, turning to look at me now. “I can’t lose another person I love.” “You love me?” He nodded sadly as another tear trickled down his cheek. “I love you most of all.”
“I don’t see anyone.” His lips tipped up in the smallest of smiles before he added, “Except for you.”
Claire meant it when she told me that she loved me. That was the first of two things in life I was sure of, and I meant it right back. That was the second thing I was sure of. If I knew nothing else in this world, then I knew that I loved Claire Biggs.
when I was little, I used to believe that Holy God had put her on earth just for me. Because she was the only person I didn’t seem to scare off. Hell, even Hugh and Feely got tired of me. But never her.
“Having so many people in your house.” “Gibs, I’d let my ma adopt the whole bleeding school if it meant that I got to keep that girl.” “Little Shannon, huh?” I grinned. “What a number she did on your heart, lad.” “Tell me about it.”
They say it’s hard to get over your first love. Well, if I knew it to be true, like my heart was so insistent, I would never be getting over Gerard Gibson.
Sometimes I wished I didn’t feel the way I did, but you can’t change the heart’s direction once it sets sight on its destination.
Because this boy had always been my favorite boy. My favorite friend, person, human, everything.
“Now, close your eyes, Gerard. Take in the feel of the water on your body and how safe you feel right now.” Resisting the urge to press a kiss to his temple, I stroked his cheek with my nose and clamped my thighs around him instead. “I want you to replace the memory of that day with this one.”
As for Joey? He’s a force to be reckoned with. I’ve never seen a more resilient human in my life. Yeah, he’ll always be an addict, but he’s got a family in there worth staying sober for. A girl and a baby that not only would he fight to the death for, but that he also wants to live for. So, fuck guarantees and don’t bet against him.
“Because you don’t love me the right way,” she whispered, leaning into my touch. “The way I need you to love me.” She reached up and covered my hands with hers. “The way I love you.”
I could feel my heart accelerate to a thousand beats a minute, because while I might be cradling her face in my hand, she was holding my life in hers.
“Although, if you really want to thank me, you could always make me AJ’s godfather.” His lips twitched in response. “Don’t push it.”
Grinning, I said, “Would it sound strange if I told you I get nightmares and you make me feel safe?” “Only a lot,” Johnny shot back,
“I am not in a relationship, Gerard.” “Yes, you are,” he roared back at me. “With me!” “We are not together, Gerard.” “Yes, we are!” “I’m not yours.” “Well, I’m yours,” he came right back with. “I’m yours, Claire.”
Gerard agreed, hands grazing my hips as he looked down at me, gray eyes full of heat. “Don’t think I can survive without you, though.”
“I am so fucking scared of breaking this,” he surprised me by saying. “Of wrecking what we have.” He shook his head and exhaled a pained breath before saying, “I could sit on the fence for the rest of my life and still be nervous.”
And then he kissed me. A full-body shiver racked through my body as his lips destroyed me for every other boy to come.
“If you don’t shoot, you don’t score, Gibs.” “Trust you to toss out a sport’s analogy when I’m having an existential crisis.”
For most of his life, Gerard had been trapped in a room in his head, while I had been banging on the door, desperately trying to break him out. Because his past was his prison, and our love was his getaway car.
This boy was the boy. The boy my heart had been created to beat for. The boy I was made to love. It was effortless.
I’m never leaving you. Do ya hear me? Because you’re my Gibs.” “And you’re my Kav.” “That’s right.” He was crying hard now, and I think I was, too, but I felt so safe with him that I didn’t fight the noises and words and sounds that poured out of me. Instead, for the first time since my father died, I let it all out.
