Taming 7 (Boys of Tommen, #5)

by Chloe Walsh

“I’m always okay,” he replied warmly,

“No,” Lizzie countered heatedly. “What would be going too far is telling him that Peter Biggs saved the wrong child from the wat—”

“I’ll tell you what, Claire,” she shot back heatedly. “I’ll apologize to him for his sister dying when he apologizes to me for mine!”

What would be going too far is telling him that Peter Biggs saved the wrong child from the water that day. The wrong child drowned. The wrong child was saved.

Lizzie hit the nail on the head with everything she said—and everything she didn’t say. The bare bones of it came down to the fact that Bethany died that day when it should have been me. Lizzie didn’t say anything I didn’t already know.

My sister had fallen overboard because of me. Because I’d been teasing her with a stupid toy laser that I’d snagged that morning from a lucky dip bag. I could have just let her play with the damn laser. It wasn’t even a good one. Just a cheapie I could have replaced in the pound shop for 50p. I’d made enough money that day. Over two hundred pounds in the cards I’d opened. Cards that had meant so much to me that morning only to mean nothing at all that night. I could have given Beth a turn. I could have bought her a lucky dip bag of her own. But I didn’t.

I missed my dad to the point where it was hard to breathe sometimes, and I often felt like I was still in the water with him. At night, I thought a lot about how his hand felt the last time it had touched mine. His grip. His touch. The cold. The slippery feeling as he let go and I was forced to the surface. That was it. He went under and I went up. It wasn’t fair. He was a better person than I could ever be.

If I had one wish in life, it would be to go back in time. To have the ability to change the course of that day. To go back and refuse point-blank to get on that fucking boat. To throw away that goddamn lucky-dip laser. To change the past so that I could fix the present and make a future worth remembering.

I channeled every ounce of energy I had into erasing my memories. If I couldn’t change the past, then at least I could force myself to forget it.

“What Lizzie says doesn’t hurt me.” “Well, you’re a stronger person than I am, because it hurts me.”

“If I have to listen to another one of your Morgan Freeman voiceovers I’m going to cry.” “Claire.” I gaped at her in horror. “You can’t possibly compare those two movies.” Narrowing my eyes, I added, “And I do a wonderful Morgan Freeman impression.”

With my hands on my hips, I stared dispassionately at my reflection in the mirror. I’d watched the rom-coms, ate the popcorn, and basically did everything she told me to all evening, but I had to draw the line somewhere, dammit, and I had feeling dressing me up might be it.

“Yeah, fucking right,” I huffed. “You can see the stem of my cock, Claire!” Eyes bulging, I pointed to the very obvious mishap in her design. “I know you can’t see the full shaft, but you can see my pubes and that’s not supposed to happen, right?”

“Dammit, it won’t close,” she cried out in frustration. “I know,” I shouted back. “Because I have a cock and balls that you clearly didn’t plan for when you designed these cockless Ken pants!” “Ew, Gerard, don’t use the word ‘cock.’” “Is ‘dick’ better?” “Ew no, that’s our son’s name. Say ‘willy.’” “Fine,” I snapped, glaring down at her. “Willy.”

“Morning, Lynch family. How’s my favorite sibling trio?” I chirped with a grin. Digging Tadhg’s side with my elbow, I winked at him. “How’s your day going, troublemaker?” Tadhg grinned back at me. “A lot better for seeing you, blondie.”

“I’d be a lot better if I didn’t have to constantly watch that hothead’s back.” “Oh, please,” Tadhg snorted. “Like you’re in any position to judge me.” “It’s because of my position I can judge you,” Joey countered evenly. “Don’t be me, kid. Be better.”

“Oh, shush you,” Shannon scolded. “I could say the same to you,” Tadhg clapped back with a scowl. “All I fucking hear these days is your voice.” “Tadhg.” “Johnny, oh Johnny, yes,” he mimicked his sister’s voice. “I love it when you rub your big oval rugby balls all over my face.” “Tadhg!”

“Jesus, I’m so glad I have a son,” Joey muttered under his breath. “Teenage girls are a whole different life force.” “You sure about that, Joe?” Tadhg teased. “He might turn out like me.” “Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” Joey replied breezily. “You were a dream to toilet train.”

“And you think I have problems,” Tadhg drawled sarcastically. “Tell you what, Joe. I’d rather be a Lynch than a bitch any day.” With that, Tadhg hitched his bag over his shoulder and sauntered out of the common room, flipping the bird as he went. Gerard turned to look at me. “Did he just call us bitches?”

“Because I’m not in a hurry!” I tossed back, knowing my argument was weak as shit, but I didn’t have anything else. They didn’t get it. How the hell could they? “We don’t all bulldoze, Jonathan! And we don’t all mark our turf with a baby, Joseph.” I cast a knowing glance at the pair of assholes doling out words of wisdom like they were the messiahs of pussy. “Some of us take our time when making life-altering decisions!”

“You’re a dead man!” I roared, losing all control of my body. My desk went flying at the same moment I lunged for Jamie and Johnny lunged for me. “I’m going to rip your fucking tongue out for that…” “He has a concussion, sir!” Johnny shouted louder, intercepting me before I could get ahold of Jamie. “He took a knock to the head during training this morning and hasn’t been himself since,” he added, addressing our teacher, while physically wrestling me toward the classroom door. “I better take him to the office to get checked out.” “You do that, Kavanagh,” Mr. Gardener replied, looking unconvinced, but too lazy to argue about it.

“Back to my question.” He stretched his arms over his head and cracked his neck from side to side. “Who are we fighting?” “No one. We’re not fighting anyone,” Johnny was quick to rebuff. “Because I am in contract. You are on a warning,” he added, pointing at me before turning his attention to Joey. “And you are on probation.” Ignoring Johnny’s words of warning, Joey looked to me and repeated, “Who are we fighting, Gussie?”

I watched, both fascinated and engrossed, as Joey Lynch unlocked the door of Jamie Kelleher’s car. Who knew a putty knife and clothes hanger from the art room could unlock a car without damage? Lynchy, apparently. Once the button clicked up, Joey opened the driver’s door, cigarette balancing between his lips, and reached inside.

Joey Lynch, the man you are

“I know you paid off my drug debt.” Clear-eyed and sober, Joey stared right at me. “I owe you a lot more than this.” “You don’t owe me anything, lad,” I replied, feeling weirdly emotional. Claire once referred to Joey Lynch as the comeback kid, and I couldn’t think of a better definition. Grinning, I added, “Although, if you really want to thank me, you could always make me AJ’s godfather.” His lips twitched in response. “Don’t push it.”

She’d hate me for it, of course she would, but my need to be liked wasn’t a good enough reason to not intervene in this instance.

“Oh my god.” Claire laughed, hurrying onto her bed, when I whipped off my T-shirt and reached for her pink feather boa. “You better make yourself comfortable, sweetheart,” I purred, flicking through songs and settling on “5, 6, 7, 8” from Steps. Snatching her sparkly pink cowboy hat off the dresser, I perched it on top of my head and winked. “Because you’re in for one hell of a treat.”

“I lost my sister, too, Lizzie! I buried my sister and my father!” “They drowned,” she spat out. “Accidentally. It’s not the same thing. Nobody hurt them. Not like my sister or Shannon’s mam.” “Oh, I’m so fucking sorry my family didn’t die in more gruesome circumstances,” I choked out, trembling.

She had the horror story versed off by heart, the one that made Caoimhe the victim and him the monster, while all I had was a crumpled-up letter under my mattress and the truth.

“You could have come to me,” Hugh repeated, eyes locked on hers in what felt like a blazing stare-down. “You can always come to me.” He swallowed deeply, Adam’s apple bopping before whispering, “No matter what.” “No matter what,” Lizzie repeated, whispering the words to herself, as she retrained her attention on her mug.

“You have a lot of fucking nerve to show your face back here!” my brother roared while he pinned Gerard’s stepbrother to the bedroom wall. “You fucking monster!”

“It was supposed to,” Johnny grumbled, shaking my arm off before pulling himself up into a sitting position. “Since when have I ever given you the impression that I’m the little spoon in this relationship?” “And I am?” “Well, it isn’t bleeding me!”

“I can’t help it, okay,” I huffed, flopping onto my back. “I’m used to cuddling Claire at night.” “And I’m used to cuddling Shannon.” Reaching behind his back, he retrieved a pillow and smacked me upside the head with it. “Not my fucking flanker.”

“How about this: they went out together for a few years. He was a good-for-nothing prick, and she was a fucking eejit for going anywhere near him. If they weren’t causing drama and scenes by breaking up every second weekend, they were fucking on the job like rabbits. Remind you of anyone?” “Lizzie and Pierce.” “Ten points to Gryffindor,” I cheered with a sarcastic clap.

“Looking for Gerard,” I explained with a huff. “And that new boy over there was super rude to me,” I added, jabbing a finger in the direction of Damien. “He told me to fuck off.” “You told my sister to fuck off?” Hugh’s attention immediately flicked to Damien, and I felt an immense amount of pleasure when he turned beetroot red. “In what world did you assume it was okay to speak to her like that?”

“All the juicy, homicidal-inducing details will be doled out to her other bestie.” “Shannon.” Johnny sighed, quick as a cat. “Shannon,” I agreed, eyes gleaming with mischief. “And it just so happens that Claire’s girl bestie happens to tell my boy bestie everything.” “If you call me your ‘boy bestie’ again, I’ll have you committed.”

I listened to Jamie harp on about random hooligan attacks on parked cars at Tommen. Apparently, Jamie had been the victim of one such attack and, because of this, had resorted to driving his mother’s Fiesta while the engine of his own car was being worked on at Tony’s garage downtown.

“I am not in a relationship, Gerard.” “Yes, you are,” he roared back at me. “With me!” “We are not together, Gerard.” “Yes, we are!” “I’m not yours.” “Well, I’m yours,” he came right back with. “I’m yours, Claire.”

“I don’t blame you, lad.” “Not helping, Johnny,” Aoife and Shannon groaned in unison. “What? You don’t step on another fella like that. Brother or not.” Shrugging unapologetically, Johnny turned to his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, Shan. I know Darren’s your family, baby, and you want to keep the peace. I get it. I do, and you know I’ve got your back no matter what, and I’ve always supported women’s rights to choose for themselves. But if the shoe was on the other foot and he had tried to get you to abort my kid behind my back?” Johnny shook his head. “I don’t know if I could handle it as calmly as your brother here.”

I wanted requited love. The proper kind. Like Shannon had with Johnny. And Aoife with Joey. Well, minus the drugs and the teen pregnancy. I just wanted a real relationship.

“I know you’re better off without me, Claire. Okay? I know that.” Releasing a shaky breath, he held his hands up and shrugged helplessly. “But I also know I’m not better off without you.” He raised his hands in a helpless motion. “Not better off one bit.”

“I fucking love you, Claire Biggs.” “How can you say that?” “Because it’s the truth!” Gerard roared, turning a dark shade of purple as his outrage clearly grew. “I didn’t choose any of this, okay? I was born and there you were, and I had these feelings. And they grew, Claire,” he roared, stalked toward me. “Holy shit did they grow!” Looking more furious than I’d seen him in years, he hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me roughly against him. “Like neon fucking lit-up boomerang feelings that keep coming back no matter how far I push them away!”

Desperately. Voraciously. Adoringly. Our lips collided in a frenzied hunger that had been building up for sixteen years and had finally bubbled over.

“Please don’t let me break this,” he begged, gray eyes locked on mine. “I can’t lose you, Claire.” “You won’t.” Leaning in close, I touched my forehead to his and whispered, “You couldn’t lose me if you tried, Gerard Gibson.”

“You’re my best friend.” “I know.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re supposed to say it back.” He smirked. “But what about Cap?” Snatching up his hand, I placed it on my chest and said, “Does Cap let you touch his boobs?” “Okay.” Nodding vigorously, he pressed a kiss to my neck. “You’re my number one best friend.”

“You missed the clown.” “No, she didn’t,” Tadhg chimed in from his perch on the island. “She brought him with her.” “She brought him with her,” Gerard mimicked with a glare. “Less of the lip.”

“What did they do to you?” “Don’t fucking start, kid,” the Joker—I mean Joey—warned when he marched into the kitchen, looking like the sexiest baddie I’d ever seen. “Just get your bags and let’s get this over with.” He pushed his temporarily dyed neon-green hair out of his eyes before lifting Sean into his arms. “I dropped Aoife and AJ over to her parents’ place, and I told her I’d be back in an hour to take her to this stupid fucking party, so let’s get this trick-or-treating bullshit done nice and snappy.” “You think I’m going trick-or-treating with you looking like that?” Tadhg gaped at him in horror. “Fuck no, I would rather shit in my hands and clap.”

“Wow, Ols,” I grinned. “Fancy.” “I’m a barrister,” he explained, dressed in a designer suit, with sunglasses perched on his nose. He even had his hair slicked back like one of those corporate lawyers in the movies. “Like my dad.”

“You do realize it’s me you’re talking to, don’t you, Gibs?” Frowning, Claire’s mam reached up and felt my brow. “As in Claire’s mother.” “Oh yes.” I nodded solemnly. “I’d know your tits anywhere. Thank you, by the way. For making Claire. You did a top-notch job on that one.” Frowning I added, “The older one could do with a bit of work, but the younger one is perfect.”

“Oh dear.” Sinead sighed wearily. “I think it’s time someone’s mother comes to collect him.” “I think you might be right.” Sighing dramatically, I swiped another shot from the confiscated tray and tossed it back. “Meanwhile, until she arrives, I must resume my dancing a safe distance from your daughter’s perfect tits. Thanks for those, too, by the way.”

“I’m entirely uninterested in participating in drama, Claire. If that means I’m a loner or frigid, then I’ll happily shoulder the label. They can think what they want about me. I’m not pushed.” “Wow,” I mused. “How does it feel to be so secure in yourself?” “Why don’t you look in the mirror and ask the girl staring back at you,” he shot back with a smirk. “Because from where I’m sitting, she’s got a tight fist hold of her worth.”