I wanted the future I joked about with her. I wanted everything with her. Problem was, I didn’t trust the person I was. I was too fucking scared of becoming what had ruined me. Of abusing her love and breaking her heart. Because once we crossed that line, things would never be the same again. We couldn’t come back from it. And I needed the guarantee that I wouldn’t wreck it. That I wouldn’t be reckless with her heart. That I could love her the right way. Because I loved this girl. With every fiber of my being. With every beat of my poor defective heart. I loved her fiercely, solely,
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