Taming 7 (Boys of Tommen, #5)

by Chloe Walsh

Moments before the pain in my lungs exploded and everything went dark, I saw it. A halo of light. An orb of pure sunshine. Her. I saw her. And that’s when I knew. That’s when I knew…

“What about me?” he whispered as a lone tear trickled down his cheek. “Who’ll keep me safe?” “I will, silly,” I replied, releasing his hand so that I could give him a hug. “I’ll keep you safe, Gerard.”

Okay why am i already cryinggggg gyat damn

“Hey, Gerard?” “Yeah, Claire?” “Do you need time?” “Time for what?” “I don’t know.” I shrugged and readjusted the knot holding my cardigan to my waist. “Caoimhe said that you lots of need time and that we’re to leave you alone.” “No, no, don’t go,” he blurted out, snatching up my hand in his. “Okay?” “I wasn’t going anywhere, silly.” I chuckled, staring down at how his hand made my hand look super tiny. “I would never leave you, Gerard.” “That’s what my dad said.” He sucked in a shaky breath and clenched his eyes shut before whispering, “So just…please don’t go, okay?” “I’ll never go, Gerard,” I replied,

“I mean it,” he urged, turning to look at me now. “I can’t lose another person I love.” “You love me?” He nodded sadly as another tear trickled down his cheek. “I love you most of all.”

I’m already bawling for them like are you kidding me

“I hate him,” he interrupted with a sharp hiss. “Who? Keith?” He nodded stiffly. “And n-not just him.” “Mark, too?” Sniffling, he swallowed deeply before saying, “I don’t like the way he looks at me.”

Shut up I stg......i literally knew something was sus but Gibs is good at hiding it

“Hey, Gerard?” “Yeah, Claire?” “You’re still holding my hand.” “I know.” A shiver rolled through him, and he tightened his hold on my hand. “Sorry. It’s just…holding your hand makes me feel better.” “It does?” “Yeah.” He watched me cautiously. “Is that okay?” “Yep.” I beamed at him. “You can hold my hand forever.” “You promise?” “Uh-huh.” I yawned, feeling sleepy. “I promise.”

The heavy weight above me kept me locked in my personal eternal pit of terror. Drowning. Pressing my face into the mattress until I couldn’t breathe. Letting the water fill my lungs to the point of explosion.

Am I crazy orrrrrrr NO NO PLEASE I CANT

I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that I had somehow managed to sleepwalk into her bedroom. Again. It was the only place my legs ever took me. It was the only place I could breathe.

My nightmares had always been horrendous. Usually, I was good at hiding them from her, which was impressive considering I’d slept in her bed almost every night since I was seven.

Almost....*eye twitching rage ensues*

For example, I wanted to be normal, therefore I was. I wanted to be talented like Johnny, to be smart like Hugh, to be creative like Patrick, therefore I did and was all those things. Sure, I might not be any of those things naturally, but if I pretended like I was long enough, then there was a good chance it might happen.

There was only one person in my life that still saw me as, well, me. Only one person who refused to let go of the version of me from the past. The girl with her arms around me. My girl.

I couldn’t talk to anyone. The ugly side of life I had been exposed to was something I would take to the grave with me.

This is so sad knowing now....

If I could sew this girl to my skin without causing her an ounce of harm, then I would do it in a heartbeat. That’s how vital she was to my life. How essential she was to my existence. If drugs were to Joey Lynch what Claire Biggs was to me, then there was no amount of rehab that could sway me to kick the habit. Because she was the habit of my lifetime.

I took a moment to compose myself, to slide my comedic, carefree mask into place. It covered me like a blanket of deceit and protection. This was how I had managed to reinvent myself when my world crashed down around me. Not just reinvent myself. No, it was more than that. It was my personal resurrection.

Because love hurt. It burned like hell. I got that. I accepted the pain. The self-inflicted flesh wounds it took to love another human. I wasn’t afraid of that. Of being hurt. Of anything for myself. My fear rested in my inability to love her the right way. In the potential I had to hurt her beyond repair or recourse. The same way he hurt me.

WHO IS HE BC I STG IF HIS STEP DADDY OR BROTHER PUTS HIS HANDS ON MY SWEET BABY I WILL SUFFOCATE......see I fucking knew something was sus and I completely forgot with the lovely duo of Gibs and Claire throughout the whole book like Chloe you sly dog hiding the truth like Gibs does *sobs*

“Stop it. Don’t look at me like that. You know I love him like a brother,” he hurried to explain, looking flustered. “I would take a bullet for him, lay down my life for him in a heartbeat, but he’s damaged, Claire. I’m talking seriously damaged here. What happened to him when we were kids seriously screwed up his brain. He hasn’t been the same since he was seven and we both know it.”

WOW I WONDER WHY

“It’s all good, though. Some of the best things in life aren’t meant to last forever. That’s why we cherish them when they happen. Like your favorite chocolate in a box. Or shooting stars. We don’t refuse to eat the sweet because once we do, it’ll be gone, or stop looking at the stars after one shoots by. We enjoy the moment because we know it’s worth living in.” “Whoa,” Shannon breathed. “That’s deep.” “Aw, there’s a wise old head underneath those curls, isn’t there?” Katie teased, hooking her arm through Claire’s. “Very philosophical, Baby Biggs.”

He was built and broad, with gloriously sun-kissed skin and the most amazing pearly-white smile. His eyes were like pools of gray marble you could fall into, and he was just so downright snuggly.

Wyatt Wagner

After all, it was his arrival in Ballylaggin that I credited with saving my life. If he hadn’t walked into my classroom that day, if he hadn’t offered me that chance to reinvent myself, then I honestly didn’t know where I would have ended up. Yeah, we had shits and giggles, and banter galore, but when the cards were on the table, he had my back, and I had his. There was a permanence to that kind of friendship that soothed something deep inside of me.

Gibsie + Johnny = <33333 :')

“Why do you do it?” “Hmm?” I mused, still nuzzling his cheek with mine. “Do what?” Gerard turning his hand over, palm up, and entwined his fingers with mine. “Waste your time on me?” “For two reasons,” I explained, feeling my heart beat harder. “First, because I happen to believe that no time is ever wasted when I’m with you.” My cheek grazed his temple as I spoke. “And second, you’re my favorite person in the whole world. There’s no one I would rather spend my time with.”

“You’re so beautiful,” I admitted because one, I had a problem keeping my mouth shut, and second, it was the truth. I’d never seen anything like her. “I swear you shine even in the darkness.”

I guess that’s what true love was, though. It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t come in the perfect gift-wrapped box. It was messy and raw and pushed you to your absolute limits.

“You’re amazing.” He chuckled, pulling back to look at me. “Do you hear me, Claire-Bear?” Cupping my cheeks with his big hands, he leaned in close and pressed his forehead to mine, while excitement and pride danced in his eyes. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Instead, I reveled in her presence; like a blazing bolt of sunshine chasing the darkness away.

My life consisted of this girl. Of the perfume she wore. Of the smiles she offered. The clothes she chose on a particular day. The colors she painted her nails. She was tattooed inside of me, and I was hooked. Claire was my safe place.

“I fucking love you, Claire Biggs.” “How can you say that?” “Because it’s the truth!” Gerard roared, turning a dark shade of purple as his outrage clearly grew. “I didn’t choose any of this, okay? I was born and there you were, and I had these feelings. And they grew, Claire,” he roared, stalked toward me. “Holy shit did they grow!” Looking more furious than I’d seen him in years, he hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me roughly against him. “Like neon fucking lit-up boomerang feelings that keep coming back no matter how far I push them away!”

Not when I had all the self-control of a rolling pin.

because my walls were only knee-high at best and had been constructed with gummy bears.

“Did you keep it for me?” she asked, happily skipping over my random comments. “Your virginity?” Her eyes were bright with excitement as she bounced on her knees. “Omigod, I already know the answer, but I need to hear you say it.” “I’ve told you before, there’s only you for me, Claire-Bear.”

“I killed Gerard with my hymen, Daddy!” I wailed, throwing the bloodstained duvet at his feet. “Here’s the murder weapon for the Gardaí when they come to arrest me!”

I CANNOT WITH HEER HAHAAHAH

As my eyes trailed over her, I felt my heart anchor itself to her, both attaching and wrapping itself up in intricate knots around every part of her.

pushing down my memories once more to live in the moment with the person responsible for keeping my heart beating since I was seven years old.

I didn’t know how she managed to do it, but she healed the broken pieces inside of me. She patched me up in such a way that I was a functioning man again. For her. Only for her.

Always the joker. Hiding his pain behind a smile.

For most of his life, Gerard had been trapped in a room in his head, while I had been banging on the door, desperately trying to break him out. Because his past was his prison, and our love was his getaway car.

This boy was the boy. The boy my heart had been created to beat for. The boy I was made to love. It was effortless.

He was beyond broken and I couldn’t break through the wall he had erected. Break through the lies he had invented to hide the truth. Like ivy on a house hiding the walls beneath, hiding the true colors and the cracks in the cement. He had cracks in him that I couldn’t repair because he refused to acknowledge they were there in the first place.

Everything I had worked so hard to build back up after he destroyed me had been snuffed out in an instant.

Johnny nodded solemnly. “And who’s your best friend out of all of them?” “Me?” My brows shot up. “Well, I’m, ah, I’m good friends with those two over there.” I pointed across the room to where Hugh and Feely were sitting. “But I wouldn’t say I have a best friend in here.” Smiling, I added, “I have a girlfriend. She’s at a different school, though.” “Is she your friend or you girlfriend?” “Both?” “Hmm.” Johnny seemed to mull that over before asking, “Do you want to be my best friend?” He shrugged. “Looks like I’m not getting out of this town anytime soon, so I might as well put down some roots.” “Me?” “Yeah, you.” “You want me to be your best friend?”

stop i love them with my whole chest

“That’s it,” Johnny continued to coax but when his voice cracked, I noticed the tears trickling down his cheeks. “Just stay with me, Gibs.”

“I would never hurt any of you.” “Everyone here knows that, lad,” Johnny agreed, closing the space between us. “You’re a good man. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. So, don’t you worry about that, alright? Because it’s not any of us that we’re worried you’ll hurt, Gibs.” “I didn’t mean to.” I hurried to appease, roughly batting my tears away as blood poured from my right hand. “I don’t know how I’m still standing,” I mumbled, somehow managing to not pass out from the sight of it. “I think I might be in a bit of shock or something, Johnny.” I reached up with a trembling hand and tapped my head. “I think I might be gone a bit wrong in here.” “Don’t worry about it…” His voice cracked when he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me roughly against his chest. “It happens to the best of us.” “I’m okay, Cap,” I mumbled against his shoulder as he held me in his arms. “I’m always okay.”

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH

Johnny replied in a coaxing tone as he lowered us both to the floor. “Just give him a minute.” “They know, don’t they?” I whispered, slumped against him. “Everyone knows.” His arms tightened around me, and he pulled me closer. “You’re going to be okay.” “All the things he did to my body.” Feeling lifeless, I stared blankly ahead, feeling the tears trickling down my cheek. “I didn’t want any of it, Johnny.” “I know you didn’t, Gibs…” He choked out a pained cry and continued to rock me back and forth. “I believe you.”

BLESS THESE BEAUTIFUL BOYS

“I don’t want her to know.” “Claire?” I nodded, feeling empty. “She won’t be able to love me now.” “She already loves you,” he strangled out. “We all love ya.” Sniffling, he pulled me closer and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I love the fucking bones of you, ya mad eejit.” He choked out a pained laugh. “And if you think this is going to chase me off, then you’ve another thing coming, fucker, because I’m never leaving you. Do ya hear me? Because you’re my Gibs.” “And you’re my Kav.” “That’s right.” He was crying hard now, and I think I was, too, but I felt so safe with him that I didn’t fight the noises and words and sounds that poured out of me. Instead, for the first time since my father died, I let it all out.

<333333 :'''''''''(((((

“Are you serious?” “I’ve never been more serious in my life.” I turned to face him. “I won’t apologize for what I did because I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, Gerard Gibson. I love the boy you were, and I love the man you’ve become.” Releasing a frustrated growl, I stalked toward him and planted my hands on his chest. “And I will stand up for all of your forms, baby, boy, or man! I will fight for you even when you can’t do it for yourself because that’s what best friends do.” Knotting my fingers in his onesie, I glared up at him before adding, “And I will never apologize for it.”

QUEEN

I might not know who I was or where I fit in the world, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I didn’t want any of it without Claire Biggs. Or Cap.

I swear the mere sight of her caused a swelling sensation to my heart that could be mistaken for medical complications. Lucky for me, I knew these chest pains were a direct result of the repercussions of love. Because I loved her. Jesus, I loved her with every bit of me.

Unable to stop myself, I took a protective stance in front of him, letting her know that I wasn’t here to play. I would defend this boy with everything I had in my armory. To the death.

Same

And I would forever stand with this boy. After all, taming 7 had been the adventure of my lifetime.