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An hour felt forever when you were five.
“You’re my favorite person in the whole wide world, and I would swap everyone for you. Even Hugh.”
“Just stay.” He squeezed my hand. “That helps.” “It does?”
“What about me?” he whispered as a lone tear trickled down his cheek. “Who’ll keep me safe?” “I will, silly,” I replied, releasing his hand so that I could give him a hug. “I’ll keep you safe, Gerard.”
“I mean it,” he urged, turning to look at me now. “I can’t lose another person I love.” “You love me?” He nodded sadly as another tear trickled down his check. “I love you most of all.”
“I don’t see anyone.” His lips tipped up in the smallest of smiles before he added, “Except for you.”
From as far back as I could remember, my mind had always been very clear about three things. One: Hugh was my brother. Two: Bethany was my sister. Three: Claire was mine.
The girl was everything to me, and that wasn’t me being dramatic. It was a fact. The thought of letting her down made me feel physically sick. The thought of any form of harm coming to her, be it emotional or physical, made me feel homicidal.
Because I loved this girl. With every fiber of my being. With every beat of my poor defective heart. I loved her fiercely, solely, wholeheartedly. I had so many physical urges directed solely toward her, but there were no guarantees in life, and I couldn’t risk it.
Because I wasn’t worthy and I sure as hell wasn’t good enough.
