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“You’re my favorite person in the whole wide world, and I would swap everyone for you. Even Hugh.”
“When they said someone had been saved from the water. I prayed for it to be you.”
“I think they wanted your dad to save Bethany.” “I didn’t,” I admitted honestly. “I wanted to keep you most of all.”
“But your hugs feel like sunshine.” “Like sunshine?” I frowned in confusion. “How?” “Because you are sunshine, silly,”
“I mean it,” he urged, turning to look at me now. “I can’t lose another person I love.” “You love me?” He nodded sadly as another tear trickled down his cheek. “I love you most of all.”
“I don’t see anyone.” His lips tipped up in the smallest of smiles before he added, “Except for you.”
Claire Biggs had a lot of things. My back. My attention. My heart. My soul. Yeah, she had all of me and that wasn’t an exaggeration.
If I could sew this girl to my skin without causing her an ounce of harm, then I would do it in a heartbeat. That’s how vital she was to my life. How essential she was to my existence. If drugs were to Joey Lynch what Claire Biggs was to me, then there was no amount of rehab that could sway me to kick the habit. Because she was the habit of my lifetime.
From as far back as I could remember, my mind had always been very clear about three things. One: Hugh was my brother. Two: Bethany was my sister. Three: Claire was mine.
“Now, come here and snuggle me. You know I hate sleeping without you.”
Still, like every night since the age of seven, I found myself climbing into bed beside her, with only one goal in mind: to get as close as humanly possible to the only form of physical comfort I had found in my seventeen years on earth.
Claire meant it when she told me that she loved me. That was the first of two things in life I was sure of, and I meant it right back. That was the second thing I was sure of. If I knew nothing else in this world, then I knew that I loved Claire Biggs. More than she could ever know. More than one lousy four-letter word could ever depict.
Gibsie belonged to the rest of the world. Gerard belonged just to me.
Some of the best things in life aren’t meant to last forever. That’s why we cherish them when they happen. Like your favorite chocolate in a box. Or shooting stars. We don’t refuse to eat the sweet because once we do, it’ll be gone, or stop looking at the stars after one shoots by. We enjoy the moment because we know it’s worth living in.”
They say it’s hard to get over your first love. Well, if I knew it to be true, like my heart was so insistent, I would never be getting over Gerard Gibson.
“Now, close your eyes, Gerard. Take in the feel of the water on your body and how safe you feel right now.” Resisting the urge to press a kiss to his temple, I stroked his cheek with my nose and clamped my thighs around him instead. “I want you to replace the memory of that day with this one.”
“You’re so beautiful,” I admitted because one, I had a problem keeping my mouth shut, and second, it was the truth. I’d never seen anything like her. “I swear you shine even in the darkness.”
“You’re the only person who can hold my attention. It shifts and wanders off on just about everyone else. But not you. Never you.”
“Because you don’t love me the right way,” she whispered, leaning into my touch. “The way I need you to love me.” She reached up and covered my hands with hers. “The way I love you.”
no other aspect of my life was as important as her.
“I’ve got you.” He rested his brow against mine, lips still not touching. “You’re safe, I promise.”
“We are not together, Gerard.” “Yes, we are!” “I’m not yours.” “Well, I’m yours,” he came right back with. “I’m yours, Claire.”
“You know I love you.” He pressed me deep into the mattress with his big body, lips moving against mine when he bit out the words, “There’s only ever been you for me.”
“And I need to stay,” he agreed, pushing me deeper into the mattress. “So, don’t stop needing me.”
“I need to hear your voice.” “Why?” “Because I need to know it’s you touching me.”
These hands were the ones my body accepted without question or doubt. This boy was the boy. The boy my heart had been created to beat for. The boy I was made to love. It was effortless. Clenching my eyes shut to hide my tears, I kissed him for all I was worth, telling him with my touch everything I couldn’t say out loud. I believe you, Gerard Gibson. I believe you. I believe you. I believe you.
“He knows who I am, don’t ya, Gibs? It’s alright, my old buddy. Cap’s here.”
“Come back, Gibs. Come on back to me.”
“Because I didn’t want him to see the ugly in me and turn and run.”
“It’s the helplessness that hurts the most, right?”
