Just for the Summer

by Abby Jimenez

The moment Emma came into view, my entire world slipped into slow motion. My brain took a screenshot. I felt the moment freeze and save.

I liked to consider myself a pretty level, confident, easygoing person. I didn’t get flustered or anxious about dates. But everything I knew about myself prior to the moment I laid eyes on her was no longer true. I was a nervous wreck. Instantly.

“Why not forgive? In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy,

Sometimes the best way to show love or be kind to someone is to meet them where they are.” “Literally? Or figuratively?” She paused with the spoon in her hand. “Both.”

“You know how when something bad happens to someone you love, and you wish you could take it from them instead?” “Yeah.” “What if the universe listened? What if you or your mom or the kids were supposed to die in a car crash and your dad said ‘Take me instead’—and the universe did. And nobody remembers the way it was supposed to be because that’s the deal. You never get to know that he’s a hero. The fates are reversed and the tribute takes the thing he asked for to save someone he loves. If you think of it that way, instead of being sad that he’s gone, be happy that he got what he wanted. And that somebody loved you enough to take your place.”

So I became an island—and the island is small. I don’t need anyone. And I know that sounds sort of terrible, but it’s actually comforting to know that I have this ability to need no one. It feels like a superpower. Like I’m untouchable.”

“Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don’t know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.”

You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore.

Justin deserved good things. He deserved for the hard things of his life to be made a little easier, the way he made everyone else’s life easier.

It’s funny how when you find someone you like as much as I liked her, the destination is suddenly wherever they are. Even if there’s someplace better, you wouldn’t go if they couldn’t come.

death by a thousand cuts,”

Taylor

Not everything that comes out of crisis is bad. Sometimes your traumas are the reason you know how to help.

Her scent hypnotized me. Absolutely entranced me. Whatever pheromone was made for me, she had it. I felt drunk by the proximity to her.

I didn’t think there could be anything worse than her not wanting me like I wanted her. But there was. It was her wanting me and losing her to a circumstance that wasn’t my fault and I couldn’t change.

Something happened in my chest. A flutter. Or a crack. I had to clutch it with a hand like a part of me was going to spill out. I’m not sure why, but I knew I’d always remember this.

Goodbye was the bane of my existence.

Maddy wasn’t here, so I couldn’t talk to her about what I was feeling. And I couldn’t talk to Justin about it either because I didn’t know how. It was incredibly complex and also unbelievably simple.

was the right guy at the wrong time. And maybe she was the right girl at the wrong time for me too.

but I was realizing that even though I loved her, I wasn’t sure I liked her. Even thinking this felt wrong. She was my mom. But I didn’t like what she did

I felt like I could stay in this moment forever. Like it was timeless because of how absolutely perfect it was. And yet there was nothing perfect about it. Not in the traditional sense. We were in pajamas. We weren’t on a date, standing under the moon. We were next to a sink full of dirty dishes and a crusty waffle iron. There wasn’t music playing or candlelight or rose petals. But it was perfect. I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about it.

“Sometimes I feel like the seasons could come and go and come and go, a hundred years could pass, a thousand, the ground could collapse under us, this house could crumble and go back to the earth, and we would still be standing here frozen in time, because every second I’m with you is eternal. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“You cannot keep caring about her more than you care about yourself.”

“You’re not asking too much,” he said. “You were just asking the wrong person. Ask me instead.”

“What do you think she’ll be like?” she whispered, after a moment. “Who?” I said gently, holding her to my chest. “The girl you’ll meet after me. Your soulmate.” My heart shattered into a million pieces. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said it was her. Instead she’d end up being the one who got away. Not a soulmate, just the love of my life. And unfortunately they’re not the same thing.

A year ago I would have been mad at her for leaving. It was black and white back then. To me, love meant you stayed. But now I understood that love sometimes means you let someone go.

The love stories sold us the wrong thing. The best kind of love doesn’t happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life. It’s not grand gestures that show how you feel, it’s all the little secret things you do to make her life better that you never tell her about.

isn’t glamorous, it isn’t all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It’s real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it’s this good when life is draining and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.

Not a second had passed. It hadn’t been six months since I’d seen her, it was a heartbeat. A flicker. This is the thing nobody tells you about The One. How they’re timeless. How the moment they pop up again you’re right back in it, right where you left off.

didn’t regret telling him. I was proud of myself for coming here and telling him. The words were his and he should have them.