Queen of Ashes (Empire of Shattered Crowns #2)

by May Freighter

“Mama said that if a lady refuses to speak, it must be related to men. Who is the uneducated swine with poor judgement to make you this miserable?”

“Ambrose, answer me this. Are all men in this world well endowed?” Ambrose blinked slowly as if the question was being processed on an ancient computer. Her face went from neutral to angry, and she stormed over. Taking Emilia’s hands in hers, she demanded, “Who dared to defile Your Majesty’s eyes with such disgusting imagery? Tell me who it was, and I will skin him alive. No. I will cut his—” Emilia covered Ambrose’s mouth, leaving the tirade unfinished. “There is no need to do that!” Ambrose leaned back to speak. “But such filthy behaviour cannot go unpunished. The least I can do is have that monster hanged, drawn, and quartered.” “It was my fault in the first place.”

“To answer your question, Your Majesty, as far as I was told by my mother, not all men are created equal. It is unlikely that many of them in this kingdom possess an appendage larger than my middle finger. So, if you wish to keep a husband or a lover, make sure he is of use down there.”