Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood

by Lucy Jones

Compelling women to motherhood, to pregnancy, to childbirth is only possible in a world where those in power—namely men—are catastrophically ignorant about the health and mortality risks and vulnerability of pregnancy, and the reality of birthing and raising children—and deeply, cruelly indifferent to the health, dignity and survival of women.

Animal studies had already shown that babies become even more rewarding for mothers than cocaine, and this reward system is thought to trigger the drive to care and nurture.[11]

Middle-aged and older women who have had children show less brain aging and cognitive decline than those who have not given birth—and

from the time my conscious memories formed, my purpose was, I understood, to learn, to pass exams with the highest possible marks, to excel, to achieve so that I could one day get a good job and salary. I needed to prove I wasn’t stupid; I needed not to fail. My achievements were valuable: the exams I passed, the job I got, the paycheck I earned, the conventions I conformed to, the items I could acquire.

I feel a deep sense of satisfaction on seeing her happy without me, with her peers, on the other side of the fence, a separate being. Still, there is a shadow, a shudder of growing redundancy, a reminder of the paradox that my job is to make it possible for her to leave me, to walk away from our present intimacy and form her own life.