Looking back on it now, the reason my OCD got so bad that I was wheeled into the hospital psychiatric unit was the steady lie I had taken on and that had accrued throughout my whole life, that the best way to deal with anything in my life that bothered me, anything I saw or felt or thought that didn’t feel right, was to go into my head and make it better, to defend myself and figure it out, to think about it more. If I explained myself correctly and brilliantly to myself, I would think myself into a beautiful place where nothing could get me and where all ugly things would scatter, and an
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