Broken Vow (Brutal Birthright, #5)

by Sophie Lark

I’d respect him more if he were an honest asshole instead of a fake nice guy.

“Forgetting a debt doesn’t mean it’s paid.” Or “There’s no such thing as bad publicity, except your own obituary.”

I don’t believe in love. I’m not denying it exists—I’ve seen it happen for other people. I just don’t believe it will ever happen for me. My love for my family is like the roots of an oak tree. A part of the tree, necessary for life. It’s always been there and it always will be. But romantic love . . . I’ve never experienced it. Maybe I’m just too selfish. I can’t imagine loving somebody more than I love my own comfort and having my own way. The idea of being controlled by someone else, doing things for their convenience instead of mine . . . no thanks. I barely tolerate that for my family. Why would I want to center my life around a man?

Riona may look like a fox, but she’s got the temperament of a thoroughbred—haughty and high strung. I don’t think she’s bad tempered. She just doesn’t trust easily.

How attributes are viewed in men versus women. How women are criticized for behaviors that might be seen as virtues in men. You see plenty of that in the military—guys getting complimented for their “leadership skills” and gals getting called “ball-busting bitches” when they give the same orders.

Riona is desperate to seem strong and independent. But the truth is she’s fragile in the way that all women are fragile—smaller than men and vulnerable to violence.

Maybe that’s what it takes: an unexpected pairing. Cal fell in love with the daughter of our worst enemy. Nessa is married to her own goddamned kidnapper. Nero got his heart stolen by a girl he

barely noticed in high school. And Dante is back together with the woman who ripped out his heart. In that case, maybe Nick and I are doomed. He’s exactly my usual type. Exactly what I always pick for myself. And we’re barely getting along at all now.

“Oh, so you think Raylan’s hot?” I say innocently. To my surprise, Nero grins. “Yeah. Real dreamy.” Wonders never cease. Nero Gallo showing an ounce of self-deprecation--he really must be in love.

Nero reminds me of the Cheshire Cat—he’ll respond to questions, but he doesn’t give a damn if you understand his answers.

“Camille and I are the same,” he says simply. “Not in circumstances or experiences. Not on the outside. But in the things that matter, we’re aligned. What we care about. What we want. What we feel.”

“So . . . you’re just really similar.” “It’s more than that,” Nero says. ”There’s the parts that are the same and the parts that fill up the holes in each other. You don’t know what’s missing inside of you until you find it in someone else.”

I should have protected her better. It was my job to be her bodyguard, and I let her whole apartment burn down around her. “I’m sorry,” I say again. Riona sighs, covering her face with her hands. “You don’t have to apologize,” she says quietly through her fingers. “You saved my life.” “Well,” I say, “keep that spirit of gratitude. ‘Cause I am taking you to Silver Run. Even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you there.” She raises her head, green fire flaring in her eyes again. “You think you always know best, don’t you?” I shrug. “Any idea’s better than no idea.”

I know Raylan is as aware as I am that there’s no relationship between the two of us. He’s been hired to do a job, which is to protect me. We’re not friends. And we’re definitely not lovers. We can barely stand each other half the time. Still, there is that weird energy that arises every now and then.

Quite honestly, I’m a selfish lover, doing only what I personally like. I don’t get down on my knees and suck men’s cocks—that would be degrading. I let them worship me, but I don’t respond in kind. With Raylan, I have no pride. He’s unleashed a hunger in me that I never knew before. I’m fucking wild for him. I would do anything for him right now. I want to taste him, touch him, lick him absolutely everywhere. I want him like I’ve never wanted anything before.

In fact, the animal with the greatest endurance is a human. You could run a horse into the ground if you had unlimited time and distance to chase it. We’re not as fast as them, or as strong. But there’s no creature more tenacious than we are.

“I don’t want to trap you. I want to unleash you. I want to set you free. I want to show you what you really are . . . ”

It’s incredibly dominating using her mouth like this. It wouldn’t mean fuck all if it was some random girl, but Riona is a queen. It’s like I’ve captured Cleopatra as my spoils of war. I feel like a fucking emperor.

Raylan is a good man. He’s been good to me. He’s protected me. He brought me to his own home to keep me safe. I look up into his face and I DO feel safe. I feel cared for. These are not sensations that come easily to me. Sometimes I struggle to feel that way even with my own family. But Raylan isn’t obligated to care about me like family is. If he likes me, if he protects me . . . it’s simply because he wants to. It’s real and genuine.

You can’t have a best friend that you’re attracted to. That’s what being in love is. It’s wanting to fuck your best friend.” Riona laughs. “That’s all love is?” “That’s what it should be.” She looks up at me with those sea-glass eyes, then drops them again just as quickly. I say, “What is it?” “I was just thinking . . . there’s a third part.” “What?” “You can fuck a lot of people. And anyone can be a friend. But there’s a third part to love . . . admiring the person.” “Admiring them?” “Yes. That’s a lot more rare. There are only a few people I really respect.”

She doesn’t ask me to come back to Chicago with her again. She understands what I owe my family after leaving all that time. Still, neither of us is happy in this moment. We’re determined but not content in our choice.

Raylan and I are too different to be together. We want completely different things out of life. He told me he wants to get married and have kids someday. I’ve sworn a hundred times that I’ll never get married, and I’m not too keen on children, either. He wants to stay on that ranch, and I want to run a law firm. We’re just not compatible. It’s like Nero said—he and Camille have the same plans, the same goals. Internally they’re the same. Raylan and I are different inside and out. Yes, we learned not to drive each other crazy. And we learned how to work together pretty well. And sexually speaking, we were pretty fucking compatible . . . But you can’t build a whole relationship around sex. I’d like to . . . but I can’t.

“I’d go anywhere for you, Riona. I’d do anything. I know I probably shouldn’t tell you that. You don’t like anything if it’s too easy. But it’s true—you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.”

Well you were the longest shot I ever took. What do you think? Did I make it?” She tries to hold back her smile, but can’t. “I don’t know how you did it, but you hit the bullseye.”

I buy the dress, not worried that I’m going to outshine Simone. She’s literally the most gorgeous woman in the world with the modeling paychecks to prove it. There’s no way she could ever be upstaged at her own wedding.

This is the sentiment behind every desi wedding

“I promise to choose you for the rest of our lives. To choose you over fear or selfishness. Over ambition or other cares. I promise to never let you down again. To always be there for you. I promise to give you every bit of joy this life has to offer. You are the most incredible man I’ve ever known, and I promise to be the wife you deserve.

I promise to choose you over fear or selfishness. Over ambition and other cares.

I thought that might be the case. And that’s why I thought I’d never fall in love. But now I have, by accident. And I want that love. I want Raylan.

She’s never been more beautiful. It’s funny—we were in a room full of gorgeous women, but I only had eyes for her. Riona has a fierceness that grabs me and holds me fast. I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling, always. She’s both blunt and a mystery. Strong and powerful, but also fragile. And above all, she’s so goddamned sexy. She’s all over me with an intensity I’ve never seen before.

It doesn’t say, “Love, Riona.” But after all, we’re talking about a woman accustomed to legal correspondence. I know the “xoxo” alone is a big step for her.

For a long time, actually. All the time I was in the hospital, I felt this duty to stay. But then I realized . . . duty isn’t the same thing as desire. What I thought I wanted…I don’t want it anymore. Maybe I never really did. And even if I was still hung up on the idea of a big law firm in a big city . . . I want to choose you, Raylan. I want to choose you over anything else.” I shake my head in amazement. I really thought I was getting the hang of Riona. Then she knocks me over like this. I say. “I was all set to tell you that I was gonna stay here in Chicago. And darlin’, I’m still willing to do it. I want you to be happy, Riona. If that means staying, then I’ll stay.”

“I wasn’t kidding—I already bought this place. I sent over the deposit this morning. And even if it wasn’t a done deal, I don’t care. What you said was true, Raylan . . . the happiest I’ve ever been was that week on the ranch with you and your family. It’s beautiful, it’s peaceful, and it feels like home. It's where I want to be, if it means I’ll be with you."

“I’m the one who introduced you two,” he grins. “I know.’ “I had to do it twice. Because you hated Raylan the first time.” “I know.” I scowl at him. “You better name your firstborn after me for all the work I put in.” “I’m not having a firstborn, or any born. I still don’t want kids, that hasn’t changed.” “We’ll see,” he says with a maddening air of superiority. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t saddle them with the name Dante.” His jaw drops. “Dante has been popular for eight hundred years. It has history and gravitas.” “It’s not even a real name! It’s a nickname! You know Dante Alighieri’s real name was Durante.” Dante looks both shocked and horrified. I don’t think he knew that at all. “You’re lying.” “I never lie.” He’s crestfallen. “Really? That’s really true?” I start to feel guilty. “Never mind,” I say. “It’s not so bad. If I was going to have a kid—which I’m not—I guess I could name them Dante.” Dante grins. “I’m holding you to that.”

“Those silly kids.” He shakes his head. “Why don’t they know they should fall in love when it’s so damn obvious?” I look up at him, at his wolfish smile and his bright blue eyes. “It’s just obvious, huh?” “Yup,” Raylan says. “Sometimes it’s clearly meant to be. I knew it from the moment I saw you.” “All you knew was that you were driving me crazy.” He grins. “And I wanted to do it a whole lot more.”