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I’d respect him more if he were an honest asshole, instead of a fake nice guy.
“Forgetting a debt doesn’t mean it’s paid.” Or, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity, except your own obituary.”
“Well . . . ” Oran sighs. “I wasn’t going to say anything. But I saw he sent you roses the other day. Red roses.” “So?” “Not very imaginative, is he?”
I don’t believe in love. I’m not denying it exists—I’ve seen it happen for other people. I just don’t believe it will ever happen for me.
My love for my family is like the roots of an oak tree. A part of the tree, necessary for life. It’s always been there, and it always will be.
I only met Riona Griffin one time, but she made an impression on me. You don’t see a girl that gorgeous very often. The fact that she’s arrogant and uptight and hates my guts just adds a little spice to the mix.
“Do you?” I ask her. “ ‘Cause I’m pretty handy with an ax. Gimme three hours and I’ll buck, split, and stack a cord for you.” Riona shakes her head at me. “I hope to god I never find out what any of that means,” she says.
“It’s okay,” I say, grinning at her. “You can tell ‘em I’m your cousin if you like.” “No thank you,” Riona says coolly. “I know how you treat your cousins where you come from.”
“I get it. I spoil the romantic ambiance. I bet Dean is a real charmer when it’s just the two of you.”
He doesn’t like Dean. And he doesn’t give a damn if I know it.
Then I lay down and slip into a light slumber. A soldier’s sleep—the kind you wake from easily.
Riona is desperate to seem strong and independent. But the truth is she’s fragile in the way that all women are fragile—smaller than men, and vulnerable to violence.
But after a minute, she stops fighting and she sinks down against my chest, allowing me to hold her. Allowing me to warm her with my arms, so her shivering stops.
“You like watching people,” I say. “Yeah,” he nods. “I do.” “Why?” “People are interesting.” “I find most people pretty boring.” “Am I boring?” He grins. “No,” I admit. “You’re not.”
I have to admit . . . the wink is kind of sexy.
He grabs me by my ponytail and kisses me again, even harder.
“Camille and I are the same,” he says simply. “Not in circumstances or experiences. Not on the outside. But in the things that matter, we’re aligned. What we care about. What we want. What we feel.”
”There’s the parts that are the same, and the parts that fill up the holes in each other. You don’t know what’s missing inside of you, until you find it in someone else.”
I’ve got too much to deal with without having to baby Dean’s feelings,
I can’t help smiling. I sing along for a couple bars, not caring that I’m shit at carrying a tune. Raylan laughs and turns the music up more. He doesn’t know the lyrics, but he does the “Wa-ooo” accompaniment, like he’s my backup singer.
I’m not offended when people aren’t friendly. Actually, it just mirrors how I feel inside myself. So I’m quite comfortable with it. Neither of us has to pretend.
It’s so hard not to grin. I fucking love provoking Riona, and I love making her do things just to spite me.
And it always suited Nessa better. She loves things that are beautiful, vintage, and sentimental. Things that have history. That’s why she loves living in Mikolaj’s ancient mansion. I think the place is creepy as fuck, but she adores every inch of it.
He drops his jeans. Then, keeping his brilliant blue eyes fixed on mine, he hooks his thumbs in his boxer shorts and pulls those down, too.
I have never felt this response to a man’s cock. I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me.
I want him. I want him right now. It’s all over my face. I can’t hide it.
“I broke up with him,” I admit. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Raylan growls. “I wanted you to think I was taken,” I confess. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I admitting that? “Why?” Raylan says. I lick my lips, tasting the cool, clear river. “You scare me,” I say. I’ve never admitted to being intimidated. I’ve never admitted to being afraid, period. “This . . . scares me,” I say, gesturing between the two of us.
“I told myself I wouldn’t kiss you again without your permission,” he says. I swallow hard. “But that was a stupid fucking promise,” he growls.
I’m rabid for him. Ravenous.
He reaches up with his other hand to caress my face, and I seize his fingers between my teeth and bite them, then suck on his index and middle finger, taking them all the way into my mouth. I’ve never behaved like this in my life.
Raylan is eating my pussy like a ten-course dinner.
Raylan rolls on top of me, kissing me. I can taste my pussy on his lips, and I’m sure he can taste his cum in my mouth. This is totally unsanitary—something that would disgust me usually.
The dance floor is packed with people. All kinds of country boys—tanned, muscular, and charming. But none of them are as handsome as Raylan, not even close.
I don’t understand her. But goddamn do I want to.
“I don’t want to trap you,” I say to Riona. “I want to unleash you. I want to set you free. I want to show you what you really are . . . ”
I grab her by the throat
You can’t have a best friend that you’re attracted to. That’s what being in love is. It’s wanting to fuck your best friend.”
“I’d go anywhere for you, Riona. I’d do anything. I know I probably shouldn’t tell you that. You don’t like anything if it’s too easy. But it’s true—you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.”
“I know what Long Shot means.” “Yeah? Well you were the longest shot I ever took. What do you think? Did I make it?” “Yes,” she tries to hold back her smile but she can’t. “I don’t know how you did it, but you hit the bullseye.”
“I promise to choose you for the rest of our lives. To choose you over fear or selfishness. Over ambition or other cares. I promise to never let you down again. To always be there for you. I promise to give you every bit of joy this life has to offer. You are the most incredible man I’ve ever known, and I promise to be the wife you deserve.
I promise to choose you over fear or selfishness. Over ambition and other cares.
I want that love. I want Raylan.
I feel wetness on my cheeks, and all of a sudden Raylan puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him, so my face is hidden against his chest. He’s doing that for me—because he knows I’d hate to have anyone see me cry. Even my own closest friends and family.
You’re happier here. This is where you belong: here, with me. I’m afraid. But I want to choose Raylan over that fear.
“Say, ‘Please, Daddy,’
I want to choose you, Raylan. I want to choose you over anything else.”
the happiest I’ve ever been was that week on the ranch with you and your family. It’s beautiful, and it’s peaceful, and it feels like home. It's where I want to be."
