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And for the first time in my life, I look right in a man’s eyes while I cum. It’s not awkward or distracting. Instead, the eye contact amplifies the sensation a hundredfold. It takes sexual pleasure and pairs it with gratitude, admiration, and adoration. It stitches together sensation and emotion into one explosive climax.
That’s the downside of ranch life—nobody can stand to see anybody sleep in.”
the foot or two of space between us seems like too much. Having fallen into this unprecedented intimacy, I’m afraid to let us drift apart again in case it never rematerializes.
His laugh is loud and mischievous, the kind that pulls everyone else into mirth.
I like them and respect them, as much for our differences as our similarities.
I want those things, as badly as I’ve ever wanted them. But I also want the look of hurt to disappear from Raylan’s eyes.
“So . . . you want to be a rancher?” “I am a rancher,” he says. “I just did other things for a while. I don’t ever want this place chopped up and sold. This is home.”
Who would want to live in Tennessee after having traveled the world?
He was gone for years, and when he came home again, it was like barely any time had passed. That’s how strong his bond is with this place—it can’t be eroded by time or distance.
This is a corner of the earth you own. That’s different than just living somewhere.”
I want her to know everything about me.
I know she won’t be shocked by anything I tell her. I can trust her to take the story to her grave. Only a mafia daughter understands true discretion.
Now I don’t regret that I found it. I only regret how I reacted. Some things can’t be taken back.
You can’t have a best friend that you’re attracted to. That’s what being in love is. It’s wanting to fuck your best friend.”
“You can fuck a lot of people. And anyone can be a friend. But there’s a third part to love . . . admiring the person.” “Admiring them?” “Yes. That’s a lot more rare. There are only a few people I really respect.” In this moment, I want more than anything to be one of those people.
“You know I think the world of you, Riona.”
I don’t know how I ever called this woman an Ice Queen. Riona isn’t only one thing. Once you chip past the frost, she has a whole universe inside of her.
He told me because he trusts me. I wish there were a way to show him that I trust him, too.
It’s like realizing there’s a crocodile floating right under the water. Even if you manage to pull it out, you don’t look at the lake in quite the same way.
I miss him. That sounds so ridiculous, but it’s true. I’ve gotten so used to him being by my side almost constantly. When he goes anywhere else, I feel his absence.
Raylan has become like sunshine on my skin. Warm, comforting, enlivening. When he goes someplace else, I feel chilled and dull. Like a flower just waiting for the sun to return.
She looks like a creature you might find deep in the woods. Something that would lure you off the path, that you would gladly follow to your doom.
She looks inhumanly beautiful. Almost too beautiful for me to reach up and touch.
Her body reminds me of a violin—perfectly shaped, perfectly balanced. I want to play her like an instrument. I want to tease the most outrageous sounds out of her.
I can’t get enough of her. Every time we get close like this, I want more of it. I never want it to end.
All I can think of while I do this is, You’re mine. I kept you safe . . . and now you belong to me.
She looks at me with solemn eyes and says, “Now we have our own little secret.”
“You need to be loved,” I tell her. “You’re not above it any more than I am. You’ve been happy here with me. Happier than you are at home. This is where you belong—here with me.”
Nobody is out to get her anymore. She doesn’t need me. I did my job a little too well.
I wish he’d give me his charming smile one more time—the one that drove me crazy at first. Now I think it would just make me feel warm and happy.
If you found a girl who can stand you, you shouldn’t let her go so easy. ‘Cause it might not ever happen again.”
Sometimes after a person dies, everyone else feels obligated to speak highly of them. To exaggerate their merits and forget all their flaws.
The only regret I have is things unspoken.
I wanted to tell Riona that I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about her. That I think I’m falling in love with her. I almost said it. I wish I had. The moment passed. And it won’t come again.
“Be slow with your fists. But fight for things that matter.”
“Most mistakes can be fixed,”
This man who was my friend and mentor, this man who I thought loved me like a daughter . . . he’s the one who tried to kill me. To save his own skin.
“I don’t think anybody believes you’re happy, Riona. Not really. What do you have in your life besides work? Nothing.” When he asks that question, for one wild moment my brain responds, Raylan. Until I remember that I don’t have him anymore. I only had him for a brief moment. Then I shoved him away.
He never loved me. He never respected me. He used me when it was convenient. And when I got in his way, he tried to drown me like a rat. I trusted him. But he never deserved that trust.
Goddamnit. What a sad way to go. With so many regrets in my heart
“Parents love all their children,” he tells me. “But not all children are equally able to accept love.
I’ve tried to show Riona how much I value her. But I don’t think she’s ever understood how much she means to me.”
“I’m not blaming her,” he says. “I only wish I spoke her...
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Forgetting a debt doesn’t mean it’s paid.”
“Don’t joke--I can’t laugh right now.” “I can’t help it,” I say. “I’d do anything to make you smile.”
“I’d go anywhere for you, Riona. I’d do anything. I know I probably shouldn’t tell you that. You don’t like anything if it’s too easy. But it’s true—you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.”
I misjudged his character so badly. It puts a crack in my perception of my own good judgment.
“Did you miss the part where our future goals have us living five hundred miles apart?” “No,” Nessa says serenely. “I just don’t think that matters.” “How does it not matter?” “Because love finds a way!”
I do want to find a way to be with Raylan. Without either of us losing the other things in our lives that matter to us.
just when I think you couldn’t impress me any more than you already have, you step out of that car and blow my fucking mind.”
