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Bro she’s so pretty😭😭
God almighty, why did you give the man with the blackest soul the most heavenly eyes? They’re long, narrow, and light gray in color. Lighter than his skin. The gray almost looks silver, shot through with darker bands that radiate out from the pupil like a starburst. He turns those eyes on me, sparing a glance from the road. It feels like a spike driving into my chest. For just a second, I wish that I were beautiful, so he’d want to look at me the way I’m looking at him.
The truth is that Camille isn’t my type at all. But I sort of felt like we might be becoming friends—a little bit. I kind of liked her. And I don’t like anybody. I barely like my own family. In fact, right now, I’m only 50/50 on Aida.
Maybe I’m still floating from that hit to the head, because I barely feel the floor beneath us. I feel wrapped up in the rain and her warm skin. I feel a rush of contentment that I haven’t known for years. I don’t know how long it goes on. Maybe an hour or two. The time has no meaning, because it’s the only time that matters. If you could see my whole life laid out on a string, this would be the one bright bead. The one moment of happiness.
“Don’t you want to keep going?” “Of course I do,” he growls. “I feel like my cock is going to rip through my pants. But I’m not doing anything else until you’re sober.” “I’m totally lucid!” I tell him. “That’s not the same thing as sober.” I try to kiss him again, but he stops me. “Camille,” he says. “I want you. But not . . . not like I usually do. Not to just fuck and get off.”
Clapping my hands kicking my feet. Didn’t peg him for a gentleman
“I didn’t tell him anything about you!” Camille hastens to assure me. “I don’t care about that,” I tell her. “I’m not scared of Schultz. I’ll put him in the ground if he threatens you.” Camille blanches. “I don’t want you to kill anyone for me,” she says. “I’m serious, Nero. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.” I look her in the eyes. “Then how can we be together?” I ask her. “I can change some things about myself. But not that.”
If not killing a man is the only thing you have to change about yourself to be together I think you got it easy tbh😭😭
“I don’t ever want you to be jealous,” I tell her. “There’s nobody else, Camille. Nobody who ever made me feel like this.”
I want Camille like I’ve never wanted anything in my life. I want her to love me. She’s the only one who knows me, so she’s the only one who can. And I want to love her. I’m fucking awful at it—I’ve never had any practice. But I want to take all that passion and jealousy and obsession inside of me, and I want to give it all to her. I want to give her the best of me, whatever that might be.
Before the accident, I was playing nine hours a day, training constantly. I had to get better and better every game, always pushing. Now I can barely get back to where I used to be. And all the guys I was playing with have had months to keep moving forward. They passed me by. It’s over.”
I’m robbing a bank today.
RIP bank
“Camille,” he says, touching my cheek with his hand. “I’ve always felt things . . . intensely. Or I thought I did. But every emotion I ever had, my whole life through, is nothing compared to what I feel when I look at you. I don’t care about the car, or the money we just took, or anything else in this world. Next to you, all those other things just fade away.”
“I know I’ve got an awful history and honestly, I’m not much better now. My temper is shit. I want to kill any man that looks at you. I’m not . . . good with words, or feelings,” he takes a deep breath and I realize that Nero is nervous—almost as nervous as I am. “But I love you, Camille. I’ll never hurt you. You can trust me for that, if nothing else.”
“I love you so much it hurts. I’m scared to tell you, scared to even let myself feel it. But I love you, and I have for a while.”
“Do you remember the first time I came to your house?” I ask him. “Of course.” “You said you weren’t anybody’s favorite.” He shrugs. “No, probably not.” “You’re MY favorite,” I tell him. “You’re my favorite person in the world.” He looks over at me, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“I won’t ever leave you,” Nero says. “Never, Camille. You’ll never have to wonder where I went. I’ll be right by your side.”
