And then I knew. I knew why it was scary. Because I would want to live with them. I would want to make those kids mine. Staying meant I would fall in love. I’d fall in love with this place. With him and his family. And that I didn’t do. My lack of permanence was my protection. I left people and places, so I didn’t have to play. If I didn’t play, I couldn’t lose. But if I left Justin, I would lose anyway.
