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He said I was a part of Rebel Blue, but I felt like Rebel Blue was a part of me.
I’d spent my entire life feeling like I didn’t belong—not because I didn’t fit in or because I was lonely, but because I felt like I just belonged elsewhere.
I think I might have been homesick for Rebel Blue before I knew it existed.
Teddy turned to me. “Ada,” she said, “can you pinch me really quick? Maybe punch me in the face?” My brow furrowed. What? “That guy talking to my dad looks a lot like my sleep paralysis demon, and I need to wake up before he gets any closer.”
Gus rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to hear about the dreams you have about me, Theodora.” “Nightmares,” Teddy corrected.
Wes looked at me the way I looked at the sunset,
“What song is this?” I asked Wes, who was lighting his marshmallow on fire. “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,”
I fucking adore you, Ada. You are, without a doubt, the most brilliant and purposeful woman that I’ve ever met, and I would be the stupidest man alive if I let something as stupid and surmountable as distance take you away from me.”
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“You say you’re not nice, or warm, or bright, or any of these other stupid fucking words that people use to describe the sun, but I never asked you to be the sun.”
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“I’m the moon?” I asked sarcastically. “You’re the moon,” he said. “And I’m the tides. You pull me in without even trying, and I come to you willingly. I always will.”
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I knelt in front of her. I pulled my shirt over my head and said, “Look up, sweetheart. Take in the view.”
When I walked back to her, I set the bag next to her on the couch, knelt in front of her, and put my head in her lap. She stroked my hair.
I was the moon, and the moon couldn’t glow without the sun. And my sun was in Meadowlark, Wyoming.
“He has a thing for beautiful women,” Wes said, still smiling. I remembered he’d said that the night we met, so I responded the same way I did then: “Has that line ever worked for you?” “You came back, didn’t you?”
“I want you,” I said. “I want to be with you.” Wes studied me like he didn’t understand. After a few beats, he said, “You can have both. You don’t have to choose between me and the job. You don’t have to give something up to get another thing in return.”
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“I love you, Ada. I’ll keep showing you, but I needed to tell you too.”
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He knew I was scared, and he loved me anyway.
Thirty years of waiting was a lot, but I’d do it all over again to have her at the end of it.
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