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My eyes shot to Malyr, immediately locking on his frown. His gaze had been on me this entire time, hadn’t it? Watching, anticipating, waiting for me to figure it out. These were his.
Darkness reached out to me, tendrils of blackness snaking and wrapping around my limbs. They pulled me, tugging with the desperation of a drowning man, pulling me into its ocean of blackness. And I let
struggled to find words that could possibly match the weight of how he’d been willing to sacrifice his life for mine.
“Every morning, he brought one of his feathers to the shrine at the Winged Keep in offering. ‘Please make my mate a void,’ he prayed. ‘My very own void, who will relieve me of my shadows.’” “Let me pour my shadows into your void,” Malyr’s words whispered through my memory to the sinking sensation of my heart. “I just want to siphon into you.”
Maybe he was not the monster I’d made him out to be, but its prey.
“Oh, that damn bird of his, and its obsession with ribbons,” Marla said as she tugged a blanket over our bodies. “The tree outside his rooms at Deepmarsh hangs full of it, hundreds of colored ribbons dangling from the branches. Blue is his favorite.”
All warmth sucked from my cheeks. Blue ribbons were his favorite. Not buttons. Blue ribbons.
“All the goddess does is show you the person who matches you perfectly. The one who teaches you, makes you grow, and makes you find your place in this life. It is up to both to nurture love.”
He’d decided to sacrifice himself that day so Galantia may live. And maybe he would have succeeded if it wasn’t for how she’d done the same for him.
“Before the dungeons, I prayed to the goddess to let me find my mate,”
“When I came out, I prayed to the goddess to never let my mate find me… but she did. That is where Galantia fucked up. And for a while, I hoped that, maybe, we can be fucked up together. But she is… putting herself back together piece by piece. I am the one broken beyond repair.”
“Make no mistake, Sebian, I expect that you keep her happy in Lanai. The goddess knows I can make her miserable just fine without you. She’s all yours.”
“Because I am not good for you!” he shouted. “I am hateful, ill-tempered, cruel… I am all those things you accused me of.” He glanced over his shoulder at me, his eyes no longer dull, the slight sparkle they carried bringing out the gray in his eyes. “I would rather suffer the Endless Ache until my dying breath than risk hurting you even one more time.”
“It fell out of your tunic when you were injured and we had to undress you. I… I decided I wanted to wear it.” “I thought I’d lost it.” His eyes found mine again. “But it seems as though it has found its way to the right person all on its own.”
“One of the silken ribbons I used, I found many years ago. More than ten, to be precise, right here at the beach. It had slipped off the hair of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.” Tremors danced around my knees as if they wanted to bend beneath my steps. I remembered that day, back when I’d seen a white seagull… No. A white dove.
“At first, I wanted to send you far away from me, even if it meant pain from not having you,” he said, his hand on the small of my back, pressing just enough to guide, not command. “Only having you by half will bring a different kind of pain. Either way, I am sure to suffer, yet it might never be enough to make up for the pain I’ve caused you, everything that I am truly sorry for. Therefore, I will bear it gladly.”
“Now I know. King of Darkness.” His eyes slipped to my lips. “Queen of Light.”
“My bondmate. My future queen.” His lips brushed against the corner of my mouth. “My wife at last.” His wife.
Once we returned to Valtaris, I would pluck a flight feather and offer it at the shrine by the Winged Keep. Nothing less would do, given how the goddess had indeed heard my prayers, gifting me my perfect counterpart—the void to my shadows, the light to my darkness. Galantia was everything I always wanted… even if she didn’t fully want me back.
“What aches me is that, right now, under this blanket, I am sure she has her toes wedged beneath your calf, not mine. As much as we may share her body, in matters of the heart, there will always be an inequality.”
I’d tried after the bonding, only to realize that my heart wasn’t in the condition to brave her potential response. Her rejection.
“Then I will kill you, just like I said I would, should you ever harm my mate.”
Malyr’s eyes met mine above the affectionate display of our anoas, his face holding much more color now. “He loves her very much.”
Before my fingertips touched the items, Sebian grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder. “Tell that fucker her nest is full.” “What are you doing?!” “Are you trying to get your wrists tied up again, sweetheart?”
“As much as your void brings me light, my shadows bring you darkness. Balance.”
“Just give the farmers notice and time. If not for them, then for me, please?” There was an awfully long pause. “For you.”
My chest darkened, like an eternal eclipse that slowly settled over my mind as a strange sensation swept through my core. A… tingling? No. Scratching and scraping, like claws threatening to tear me up from the inside. Shadows ever so cruel.
“Whenever you look about the city, remember that it sparkles because of you and only you. Every Raven who calls Valtaris his home is in your debt, but none so more than I. Without you, I could not have given my family a proper burial. You are… a miracle, my little white dove.”
“You don’t know, do you? Ravens have neither king nor queen consort, not among bonded couples. Little dove, you and I are expected to rule side by side.”
“You said you had three reasons why you wanted this bond,” I said. “To strengthen your gift. To find relief from your shadows. What is the third?” “To make it impossible for you to run away from me.” A gentle kiss against my nape. “That leaves me with a lifetime to show you that I can do better. With you by my side… I can. And maybe, with prayers, I can regain your heart.”
“Seems to me there would’ve been no running regardless. You need me; I need you.” “I don’t want to be needed; I want to be wanted.”
“You are bonded to me. You are in a relationship with Sebian. The three of us are where fate wants us to be. As for love…” a faint, short inhale, “Sebian loves you deeply.” A quivering exhale. “As do I.”
“I have loved you since you came to my chambers that night.”
fingers. Then, they settled on my cheek with light pressure. “Loved you when I told myself I did not. Loved you when I told you that nobody ever would.” A tug on my cheek. “Please, look at me.”
“My love is not gentle, or tender, or easy. But it is real, grown from hate and pain deep inside a chest sullied by shadows. It is cutting and biting, leaving behind scars as unfading as my love for you.”
“And once we are gone from this earth, I will continue to love you among the stars. I will be the night, the darkest patch of sky around you, just to ensure that everyone can see how you sparkle. And once your light starts fading, I will take you into my black embrace, and that is where I will love you beyond death.”
“Malyr…” “Anoaley…” Clasping my thighs, he pulled me away from the edge. “Nothing on me is gentle anymore. However, I shall try.”
“You have me. You’ve had me since I was born.” He pushed back inside me on a groan, his powerful thrust amplified by the smooth but ungiving stone beneath me. “Goddess help me, nothing compares to you. Nothing.”
“This is what happens when a shadow and void come together, my little dove,” he rasped. “I can only dare do this when we’re alone now. They will not tolerate someone else near you.”
I will be the night, the darkest patch of sky around you?
If you read this, then I am gone from this world, never having had the chance to meet you. But if I had, I would have asked you to take good care of my son. Do not shy away from his darkness… embrace it.
“I don’t want there to be discord between us,” he whispered between featherlight kisses. “I’m no easy man—I know this—but I am irrefutably yours, heart and soul, left with a lifetime to strive to walk in your light.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered. “Wake me like this more often.” His fingers dove into my hair and cradled the back of my head. “Any day. Any time.”
“I need you.” “I told you once before, anoaley,” he whispered, the weight of his hand lowering to the sway of my hip, “I don’t want to be needed; I want to be wanted.”
I placed my hand atop his where it rested on my throat, squeezing it in encouragement as I said, “Do it. I want you to.” A dozen emotions flitted across his face, from guilt, to awe, and over lust, then back to guilt again. “I don’t want to hurt you.” “Yes, you do.”
“Your heart is safe with me, anoaley. Never again will I cause it pain. Never. As for the rest…”
“I love you,” he ground out, his thrusts almost violent in their intensity, making me dive my fingers into his hair, fisting it for hold. “You, little dove, were made for me.”
“Do you hear me, sweetheart? Right here, between us, you are so very loved.” “Say that you love us both,” Malyr rasped against my bottom lip before he nipped the swollen flesh. “Say it, and we’ll let you come this time.”
“We,” he corrected. “Whatever I may lack in kindness, you bring in spades.”
“I never said this before, but… thank you for bringing me back to life. Thank you for giving a chance to redeem myself in my own eyes. Even just a little.”
