Exiled (Unlucky 13, #11)

by Jessie Walker

He’s a good-looking kid. I can’t not notice that. But not so much because of his soft, nearly perfect symmetrical features that I imagine most models would envy, but rather the way he wears them.

In this moment, brief and fleeting as it is, he’s not just some kid, not some stranger. And I’m not some jaded alcoholic, fourteen years his senior, pissed off at the goddamn world. We’re just two lost souls, trapped in this hell masquerading as paradise, banished from the outside world, looking for a way out.

The man who stole my breath, and jumpstarted my heart, and made me forget all about the cliffs and my need to dive into the ocean. Him. I think of him and I relax.

There’s just something very rawr about him.

I am stronger than I was, stronger than these storms that plague me, and I will not let this place break me.

He doesn’t know me. They don’t know me. No one does. I survived death, and I can survive this too.

His lips twist together, eyes lowering to peek out from under his thick lashes. And I feel a great sinking in my chest. Like someone just pulled the rug out from under me, and I’m here falling, flailing, lost to…to something I can’t name. Hell, if he doesn’t look so young in this moment. Young and innocent and just… screaming for someone to swoop in and save the day. And oh how that reaches right into my chest, pulverizing me.

No one’s ever been…angry on my behalf before.

Just once I wish someone would see me for me, beyond all my issues. Beyond my age. I just want someone to take me seriously.

He looks over his shoulder, grinning wildly, cheeks streaked with rainwater, dark hair tossing all about his head. And in my mind’s eye, all I see is that sign from the day we met—Do Not Enter. “See?” he calls out, smiling breathlessly. Beautifully. Fuck me, he’s… he’s beautiful.

Yes, yes he is, Nolan 💕

Lightning cracks across the sky, echoing the sound of wood breaking—rope splintering⁠— A roar fills my ears, and all I see is him. Him. This sad, pretty boy I wanted nothing to do with. A boy who was just smiling and laughing a second ago, who is now looking back at me, begging me to save him, his mouth open in a silent scream. His cheeks white, devoid of that flush I didn’t even know I adored until it was gone. Skyler. And then he’s gone.

I just wanted one last look at him. His wide, horrified gaze will be the last memory I have of him. His voice calling out my name, the last time I’ll ever hear it. No one’s ever looked at me like that. No one’s ever yelled for me like that. It hurts… Hurts that that’s all I’ll ever have. And yet…

I wish I got to kiss him. Wish I got to know what it was like to be loved.

Stars dance across my vision, and I think of the tattoo on Nolan’s shoulder. The night sky. If there’s a heaven, I hope that’s where it is. Embedded in his skin.

In his arms, nothing can touch me.

Nolan rubs his scratchy face all over my neck like he’s trying to embed his scent in me, and hell if that isn’t the single most hottest thing to happen to me in my eighteen years. It’s something I didn’t even know I craved, not until this very moment. To be owned, wholly and completely. To be devoured, so consumed by another person that no fiber of my being is left untouched by this man.

“It’s perfect,” he rumbles. Then so quietly, I’m sure I’m mistaken, he mumbles, “You’re perfect. God fucking help me.”

“Fffuck,” he chatters out between his teeth. And he just holds me there on his cock. My nose flares for breath, and more chills break out across my shoulders. “God, look at you. So goddamn sweet.”

Omg 🫠🔥🥵

“They’re all idiots,” he says, ensnaring my wide gaze with his. “Every single asshole who’s ever made you doubt yourself, or made you feel less than.”

“That flush. Those big brown eyes,” I murmur. “You’re just so…open. So…trusting, so needy.” I lick my lips, lowering my thumb to skim under his eye. “It’s dangerous. And these lashes? Fuck, I’m a sucker for these things. They’re so full, so dark, so goddamn pretty,” I say in a ragged hush.

He brings out the animal in me, and I bring out the sweet, submissive good boy in him.

I love them sm

His lip shivers, and he shrugs. “It’s, like, grounding. You touching me. And I...I’ve never had that before. No one’s ever…” His eyes dart away again, and it hits me, spearing me right through the heart. “No one’s ever held you,” I whisper. “Not since before I could remember.”

“It’s like magic,” he murmurs. “You touch me, and it all quiets. You hold me, and it all stops.”

💜😭

Sealing my eyes shut, I inhale deeply. He smells of soap and sweat and sea salt. He smells of Skyler. Sky, Sky, Sky… And here, all this time, I was worried about him. No… No, Skyler Sinclair doesn’t scare me. That much is true. He terrifies me.

My vision blurs. Emotion searing the back of my eyes. I’m going to miss this. Miss him.

Hell, even his quiet is loud, and if I never know silence again, I think I’ll be okay with that.

God, how quickly and hopelessly I’ve become addicted to this. To him.

With each passing day—with each hot, heavy moment spent wringing pleasure from him like it’s my damn job; with each new shared bit of info about the other… I find myself falling deeper and deeper into Skyler Sinclair. If I could spend the rest of my life curled around his legs, mouthful of the best and only cock I ever tasted, holding him to me, I don’t think I’d ever crave a drink again. Consider me cured. I found my new vice, and he’s sweeter than the sweetest of bourbons.

There’s only this. Only him. Only us. His cock—his body—his touch… None of it means anything without him.

It’s like we’ve…I don’t know, grown into our skin or something. We…changed. At least, I know I did. I’m stronger. Wiser. More confident than I’ve ever been in my life. More me than I’ve ever known myself to be. He gave me that.

There’s a flash of emotion in his eyes—something big and powerful and terrifying. Everything in me stills. The beach fades. The entire world fades away, and it’s just us…marooned to this space where he exists and I exist and somehow we’ve found each other in the void.

He pulls back, swiping his thumbs over my cheeks, cupping my face so gently, it’s like he’s afraid if he changes the pressure even the slightest bit, I’ll shatter, and his gentle touch is the only thing keeping me together now that he’s finally broken me. Like he was always going to break me. I knew it. He knew it.

“Skyler,” he breathes against me like nothing else exists, like no other name exists. And for a moment, I pretend it’s true. For tonight, I’ll pretend it’s just us. Me and my champion. Me and my Tarzan. United under a starless sky. Our tongues collide, tangling. Teeth gnash into plush, wet lips.

Forget the ocean—let me drown in him. Engrave me in his bones. Bury me in his veins. Let me die as I lived—as his.

I’ve died

He eats at me until I’m a boneless, quivering mess, pleading with him to fill me. Fuck me. Hurt me. Destroy me. I’m not me anymore. I’m his.

Bending down, he nuzzles my groin, inhaling and rubbing his scruff all over me like he’s trying to embed his scent into me. Leave his mark. Doesn’t he already know, he’s stuck here forever? Tattooed into every fiber of my being.

Tears sting my eyes and I feel a sob climbing up my throat. My entire body buzzes with sensation—nerve-endings sparking. And it hurts. It feels so fucking good, it hurts. Feeling this full, knowing I’ll never be this full again. Not like this. Somehow, I just know, in this moment, I’ll never find this again.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my face in his neck, nearly sobbing at the scent wafting over me, knowing it’ll be the last time I ever get a taste of this—sea salt and soap and Skyler and mine.

💔💔💔

“Fuck,” I choke out, bowing my head to his. “You beautiful, beautiful boy. You’re gonna break so many damn hearts, I just know it.” I would know, seeing as mine is shattering as I speak.

“Someone is going to come along and love you, storms and all.”

Noooo

I crack my eyes open, but I already know. He’s gone. I felt it the second he walked away… The second my heart gave up.

“Why does no one ever want to keep me?” I choke out, my voice breaking off into heaving sobs. Finally giving voice to the question that’s plagued me for my entire existence.

I love you Sky 💜❤️

Nolan made me okay… And now he’s gone. And I am lost.

Losing Skyler… It was an ache I never prepared for. A gaping wound I don’t think I’ll ever be free of. My newest vice, and a solace all in one.

She has no idea that it’s so much more now, the summer heat a ghost I can’t shake, reminding me of white, sandy beaches and teal waters and golden sunsets. Sparkling chocolate eyes and pink cheeks and nails biting into my skin. And when it rains… Storms… It’s like I’m thrown right back there, to the island. I can smell it—the electricity burning in the air, cloying with the salt and seaweed. Hear the rocky waves in the thunder rumbling through the mountainside. Feel…him. It just about kills me every time.

Nolan Dresden in the flesh, some twenty feet away from me and three years older and no less detrimental to my health.

Skyler swept into my life like a hurricane. I had plenty of warning. Plenty of time to board up my walls and take shelter. And yet when the storm finally hit, I realized how futile it was. It was always coming for me. He was always going to be my downfall.

I miss him. I ache for him. I’d do it all again. God smite me down, I’d do it all again.

I squeeze my eyes shut, face buried in his neck. I inhale, breathing him in like it isn’t killing me inside. He doesn’t smell like the ocean anymore—he smells like pine and dirt and something sweeter. Muskier.

“I didn’t move on. I didn’t fucking forget. I’m still there.” I jab him again in the chest. “I’m still there and I never left!” I scream.

I’m crying again lol