So it’s just me, alone, in this dark, quiet room, sitting with the knowledge that I became a murderer today. I’m not sure how to feel about it. Numb isn’t the right word. Shocked isn’t it either. Calm. I feel uncharacteristically calm and the lack of a visceral emotional reaction—fear, anger, self-hatred, numbness—is what’s concerning to me. I killed someone today. Doesn’t matter that he was going to kill Alejandro and probably me next. Shouldn’t I feel something?
