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AGE ELEVEN
Eleven-forty-three. I’d turn out the light at midnight. But, for now, Nancy Drew had a mystery to solve, and we were just getting to the good part. Voices sounded from downstairs, and I frowned. My parents were night owls, but they were usually quiet as mice. The only way I knew they stayed up was that I’d been caught reading more times than I could count.
My bedroom door was wrenched open. “Hayden!” My mom’s single word was part whisper, part yell.
My father shouted something from downstairs in a language I didn’t recognize, and Mom’s face went pale. We shared our fair complexion, but this was a sickly hue.
She pulled me into their small closet and tugged a cedar chest into the middle of the space. Climbing on top of the chest, she pushed on a panel in the ceiling. I blinked a few times. I didn’t even know there was an attic in this house, let alone a door in the ceiling. My mom’s gaze locked with mine, and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I’m going to lift you up, and you’ll shut the door behind you. Don’t move, and don’t make a sound. Whatever you hear, don’t come out.” My own eyes filled with tears. “What’s happening?” She hauled me up onto the chest and hugged me tight. “I love you more
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Pain streaked across her face. “Never. I’m always with you. Always here.” She placed a hand over her heart. Another noise came from downstairs, one that almost sounded like an explosion. Mom jumped down from the chest, shoving it back against the wall. “Close the door, Hayden.” I didn’t move for a moment. Couldn’t. “Please,” she begged. It was the desperation in her voice that had me moving. I hefted the door closed. But just before it latched, I heard her whisper, “Love you forever.”
“Càit a bheil a' bhana-phrionnsa?” the deep voice snarled. My mom snapped something back in that same unfamiliar language. I’d never heard it before. Not once. How was it possible that my parents spoke an entirely different language and I didn’t know it? “Bana-phrionnsa!” the man yelled. The force of his voice was so loud I swore it made the walls shake. “Where is she?” “You’ll never have her,” my mom screamed back. There was silence for a moment and then a scream. My mother’s scream.
I didn’t make it more than three steps before I froze. “No.” I didn’t recognize the voice, even though I felt it come from me. It was strangled, inhuman. My feet propelled me forward, but I fell to my knees. Into a pool of blood. It wasn’t bright red like in the movies. It was deeper. Almost closer to brown. And it spilled out of my mother, surrounding her. Her violet eyes were open, unblinking. “Mom,” I croaked, my hands hovering over her. What did I do? How did I help? There was a hole in her chest. Right over where her heart should’ve been.
AGE NINETEEN
I was used to looking for those kinds of signs—whether someone frowned or smiled often. It was a sort of early detection system, and it had saved my butt more times than I could count.
It didn’t matter how many years had passed since I’d lost my own parents; I still got that horrible sucking pain when I was reminded of all I was missing. I’d been lucky to land with a good foster family on the third placement. A foster family who’d kept me all these years and let me stay with them even after I turned eighteen so that I could finish high school. But even with that strike of luck and their kindness in the face of my tragedy, it wasn’t the same as the love of my own parents. It was always just a bit stilted, awkward. Like staying in a hotel for eight years instead of your own
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After struggling for the first year after my parents’ deaths, I’d found my stride academically. I’d managed to get a full ride to the small, private university nestled in the redwoods. My seatmate let out a low whistle. “Must be a smart cookie.” “I’m okay, but I know how to study hard.” School had given me somewhere to lose myself. I couldn’t drown in grief
I was determined to do well here. To make all I could of the pre-med track so that I could secure another full ride to medical school.
a zap of energy coursed through me. It was like static electricity on steroids or maybe being hit by lightning.
thick forest gave way to a picturesque downtown. It had an Old West vibe, a complete one-eighty from the Seattle suburb I’d lived in for the past eight years. There were antique lampposts and even old hitching posts. I couldn’t help but wonder if people still rode horses into town.
The sign for Evergreen University was carved into stone. It looked fancy, and a feeling of unease trickled over me. I’d worked hard at my after-school job for the past three years. I’d saved up so that I’d have some extra spending money for college. But I certainly wasn’t rolling in it.
I didn’t have much to bring with me. The Johansens had tried to be as generous as possible, but they cared for a number of children and weren’t exactly rich. And I’d wanted to save money for the important things.
It wasn’t like not fitting in was anything I wasn’t used to. I’d always been the odd one out. I’d had a few casual friends in high school, but no one I was truly close with. It was as if my classmates feared that someone losing their family was contagious.
“oomph” as I collided with the foreign body. “Shit,” a rich voice muttered as large hands curved around my shoulders to keep me from falling. That voice. It sounded like smoky promise and comfort all rolled into one. I had the bizarre urge to burrow into it. To roll around like I was a dog who’d found a deliciously muddy puddle.
I wasn’t tall by any stretch. A hint over five foot three on a good day. But this guy had to have a foot on me. His sandy brown hair was laced with natural gold highlights that spoke of lots of time in the sunshine. His green eyes were kissed with flecks of gold in a pattern that had me wanting to lean in a little closer to discover them all. And his angular jaw could’ve cut stone.
Knox—junior, rich voice speaking of smoky promise & comfort, foot taller than her at 6’3, built like captain of football team or fraternity, brown hair with natural gold highlights from sun, green eyes with flecks of gold in pattern
The wind picked up, blowing my blonde hair into my face, and I hurried to brush it out of the way. Knox’s nostrils flared, and his green gaze went wide. “Where’s your protection?” I blinked up at him. “My protection?”
This time it was Knox doing the blinking. His brow furrowed as he studied me, then he shifted uncomfortably before forcing a smile. “Figured it might take a full security detail to keep you concussion free.” My lips twitched. “Jerk.” He grinned, but there was still some unease in those gorgeous green eyes. “Come on. I’ll play bodyguard from here to the student center.”
Guys offered him chin lifts and fist bumps, while girls gave him shy smiles or come-hither stares. Everyone seemed to know his name. Then their gazes would shift to me in puzzlement. I didn’t blame them. I didn’t fit. Not in my favorite worn T-shirt that read, If life gives you mold, make Penicillin, and my scuffed-up Vans. I cringed.
“What are you majoring in? Do you know?” “Pre-med.” He let out a low whistle. “A brainiac.” Heat crept up my neck. “I just like science.” That wasn’t completely true. I loved the subject, sure, but it was more. It was as though I thought if I learned medicine now, I could go back in time and save my mom and dad. I knew it was silly, but I needed to learn it. To understand how to heal the body. And if I couldn’t save them, at least I could save others.
with those probing eyes and enticing voice, Knox could get me to divulge all my secrets.
KNOX
fresh jasmine on a dewy morning. But there was more.
“He’s panting after a freshman already.” I turned annoyed eyes to my other teammate. “Fuck off, Jason.” But I couldn’t help looking back at Hayden. She’d made it further up the line, but there were even more people around her now. It made me twitchy. She was so tiny, vulnerable. She needed someone watching her back.
I’d worked on control since I was a little boy. Tons of exercise to keep my beast just the slightest bit tired. Meditation to keep him calm.
I let my claws elongate just the slightest amount, pricking them into my palm. Pain was the best plan of attack to get me out of a rage state.
As much as I had human friends. We shot the shit. Mostly talking about football and classes and girls. But it never went past that surface level. It couldn’t. Not when I had too much to hide. We’d never have the kind of relationship I had with my brothers. Brothers forged in blood and battle. Brothers who knew me down to my soul. Brothers I needed to call about my possible discovery.
Maddox sighed. “I’m prepping lesson plans. Can we talk about your love life when we get home?” I let out a low growl. “This is important.” He was quiet for a moment, then simply said, “Tell me.” “I—she—she crashed into me on campus. New freshman. I didn’t realize it at first, but then the wind shifted. I scented her. Mad, she smelled like one of us.”
There was that telltale itch at the back of my neck. But when I turned around, no one was there.
I wondered if I’d ever have that. Friends. A sense of true belonging. There was a chance here. A chance to start fresh. To erase the hard past and become someone new.
Forcing a smile, I stepped inside. The chatter came to a stop as three girls looked up at me. A blonde was perched in a desk chair, leaning back on two of the legs. A redhead and a brunette sat on a bed that had perfectly matched bedding in a pretty, floral design. There were matching pillow shams and even a bucket chair in the corner made of the same material. Everything about the image was perfect. Everything about it said I didn’t fit. The brunette leaned forward, her eyes roaming over me assessingly. “Hayden?”
They looked at me with that same assessing stare as their friend. And they, too, didn’t seem to like what they saw. They made polite noises of greeting, but the welcome didn’t reach their eyes.
It wasn’t long before I completely faded into the background for the girls on the other side of the room. I was good at that. Fading so completely that sometimes I wondered if I’d disappeared altogether.
Knox with his panty-dropping smile, Easton with that broody stare, and Cáel with that feral grin.” Bella practically moaned. “Paws off Knox. I called dibs,” Delaney snapped. The weirdest sensation ripped through me at the sound of Knox’s name on their lips. I wanted to claw her, scratch her eyes out, or do whatever it took to prove he was mine.
Bella sent her friends a sly smile. “I heard they share.” Delaney frowned. “A house? Sure. They live off campus.” “No. They share women,” Bella whispered. Heat flushed over my skin at the thought.
I pressed down harder on the wound, but the blood kept pouring from my mother’s chest. “Please, Mom. Don’t leave me.” I jolted upright in bed. My oversized T-shirt, damp with sweat, clung to my body. “Just a dream,” I whispered to myself. Only it wasn’t. It was a memory that I was destined to relive over and over. There were times when I wouldn’t have a nightmare for as long as a couple of months. But other times, they came every single night. It was usually in seasons of change or when there were other stressors.
She’d stumbled into the room after three in the morning, giggling and bumping into things. If this was going to be a regular occurrence, I was going to have to see about getting an apartment. But that meant I needed a job.
I opted for a worn pair of jeans and another favorite T-shirt. This one spelled out NErDy in the periodic elements: nitrogen, erbium, and dysprosium. A smile tugged at my lips as I pulled it on. I was who I was, and it was better for people to know that going in.
books were covered under my scholarship, and I even had a small stipend for school supplies. But my scholarship was also contingent on keeping a 3.5 grade point average. That meant I needed to focus.
Knox striding toward me. He wore school warm-ups and a hoodie but somehow was able to make it look like the height of fashion. “Hey,” I said, my voice unsure. He just grinned and extended a coffee holder. “I was coming to find you. I wasn’t sure what you drank, so I brought options.
The word friendship had a pit settling in my stomach, but I forced a smile. “Then thank you, I guess.” I tugged the hot chocolate free from the container. “I hate coffee. Why on earth would anyone actually want to drink that bitter stuff?” Knox dumped the other drinks into a nearby trash can and held up his own cup. “Because it’s the nectar of the gods.” I shook my head. “That was a real waste of drinks and money.”
“I didn’t realize it would be this cold. It was warm yesterday.” Knox let out what almost sounded like a low growl and stormed over to a nearby table. Setting down his coffee and duffel, he pulled off his sweatshirt. I was talking one of those one-handed, grab-the-sweatshirt-from-behind-his-head kind of things.
Knox handed me the sweatshirt, his fingertips brushing mine. The second they touched, a zap of electricity coursed through me. My vision tunneled. And then I was falling.
I blinked a few times as the world came back into focus. Knox knelt in front of me, his hands framing my face, a mixture of worry and wonder in his expression. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice rough.