Fair Catch (Leighton U, #3)

by C.E. Ricci

Homicide is illegal, and the only person who’d help me hide the body now lives in New Jersey. It takes repeating that sentiment internally a few times before I settle for the next best thing: grumbling a few profanities under my breath, slamming my pillow over my head, and making a mental note to order something to soundproof my goddamn bedroom.

Going to this party as a sort-of chaperone is basically community service. Looking out for the unsuspecting party-goers. And yeah, there’s the whole guilt factor that’s also a driving force.

He’d be surprised to know that his slightly neurotic, himbo ass has started to grow on me. A miniscule amount, but it’s growth regardless, and that’s a lot coming from me.

Somehow, he keeps slicing off little pieces of me without even trying. Parts I usually do my best to keep hidden, I find myself freely giving him, and I don’t entirely know why. But I still feel far more self-conscious than I have in a very long time as he gapes at me, and I don’t fucking like it. Maybe because I’m waiting for him to judge me or crack some kind of joke about me giving him his money back for all the nickels he just exchanged.

If I know anything about Hayes Lancaster, it’s that he’s stubborn as a mule and doesn’t give on much. But I’ve also started to realize, on the rare occurrences that he does, it’s something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is one of those instances.

He glances away for the briefest second. It’s only when his eyes return to mine, bluer than the ocean, that he admits, “Because, despite our rocky start, you’re kinda growing on me.” Frowning, he adds, “Like a fungus or something.”

But a slow smirk pulls at his lips as he raises the beer the rest of the way to his mouth and finishes it off. Then he proceeds to floor me further by opening his mouth and saying the filthiest, most seductive thing I’ve ever heard. “And who says you’d be the one doing the fucking, there, Kase?”

All I can do is stare at him while I pull out my phone and hand it over, wondering when the enigma that is Hayes Lancaster will stop surprising me, because that’s all he’s seemed to do tonight. At every fucking turn.

I don’t know why. It’s not my future on the chopping block here, and a month ago, I couldn’t have cared less about anything having to do with Kason Fuller. Yet, somewhere in all the roomie dates to the arcade or binge watching horror movies into the early hours of the morning or helping him charm his way into the hearts of the queer male population, I started to care for him. Become protective of him too, it seems.

Part of me is tempted to call him back here and convince him to cancel. To spend the night here watching old horror flicks with me, keep with the same nightly pattern we’ve fallen into since he called for a truce. I don’t give into the temptation, though. Kason wants this. Needs this, even. The last thing I’m gonna do is stand in his way.

Here I was, working my ass off to ignore his pervy jokes and how dangerously attracted to him I was so we could be friends. Hell, I did my best to play off my horrifying slip-up a few weeks ago by lying straight to his face, telling him any attraction I felt was gone now. And yet the entire time I was shoving these feelings down, our building friendship was making his own attraction grow for me.

“I know what I want. I want you to delete that app and never see any of those fuckers again,” he utters, the words coming out like a harsh command. “Not a single one of them is good enough for you, Kase.” I smile, fingers gripping his waist. “And you think you are?” “I wanna try to be.” His forehead collides with mine. “For you, I wanna try. And that alone is…” “Insane?” He nods, nose brushing mine when he does. “Yeah. Absolutely insane.”

“If everything on the couch didn’t make it entirely obvious,” he starts, the hand on the counter reaching up to slide through my hair. “I like you, Hayes. Despite my better judgment, and no matter how much I tried not to.”

Taking a tentative step around the counter, then another, I slowly close the space between us. He watches me the whole way, those royal blue eyes fixated on my face never wavering. There’s never been a moment I’ve wished I could read someone’s mind more.

“You said you want this to mean something.” I nod, searching his eyes. “And with you, it will.” I’m not sure if it’s the conviction in the words, or something else, but the doubt in his gaze morphs from pensive to smoldering, ratcheting the temperature in his bedroom up a few degrees. The sexual tension is damn near stifling as it blankets us, and it only gets more potent when he uses the hold he still has on my wrist to pull me deeper into his room again.

Honestly, it’s hard to believe there was ever a point where I didn’t like Kason, didn’t want him around, didn’t see him for all the deep intricacies of who he is below the surface. It’s even harder to believe I could’ve missed out on him, all because of my stubborn, bull-headed nature. And knowing the amount of time I’ve already wasted makes it hard for me to rationalize wasting any more.

Okay, maybe that’s actually being dramatic, but it’s partly true. The second I let my guard down enough to actually get to know him—allow parts of myself to be vulnerable with him and receive those pieces of him in return—something clicked. Just like Kason said the night after he met my parents, and it’s stayed that way every moment since.

All I can do is stare at him. At this man who is nothing like I thought him to be. Who never fails to amaze me. Who makes my heart skip a beat whenever he smiles at me the way he is right now.

Hayes shifts to wrap his hands over my shoulders, allowing them to hang loosely near the nape of my neck. We move into more of a sway than a dance, the two of us rocking gently to the classical music like we’re the only ones in the room. And for the first time, I truly feel at peace. Like I belong here.

“Tonight, when you took me out on the dance floor?” I murmur, my fingers skating over his jaw. “That’s when I knew I was completely gone. If I hadn’t realized I’d fallen in love with you before, I knew it then. Felt myself slipping past the point of no return every time you smiled at me.”

So I collect as many of them as I can, fighting a losing battle with sleep until unconsciousness eventually pulls me under. And when I wake in the morning, I don’t have it in me to look to the other side of my bed. Because I know it’s empty. Just like the cavity that once held my heart.

It’s not my best strategy, I’ll admit, but it seems to be the only way from losing it completely. So I’m pushing through the pain, shoving the heartbreak down, boxing up the haunting memories and locking them away.

But even among all the celebration, I can’t help feeling like there’s something missing from this moment. Or rather, someone. And I hate it, almost as much as I hate myself for swiping open my phone and hovering over his name. We haven’t spoken since the night before I moved out, and I know it’s likely for the best that we make a clean break. Dragging it out or trying to be friends would only make things more painful in the end. But God, I want to share this with him. More than anyone else.

“I love you so fucking much, Hayes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. It felt too selfish to say it and leave. But, I do. I love you.” His emerald eyes dark and pleading as they stare straight into my soul, his words barely more than a whisper. “And if I’m certain of anything, it’s that I’m a better person for having been loved by you.” In all my life, I’ve never needed to hear those words from another human. But now that I know how they sound falling off his lips, there’s no way I can go another day without hearing it.