Hate Mail

by Donna Marchetti

“That’s disturbing.” “She has a way with words.”

I wanted to see every photo she had ever taken.

She made the hottest girl at my own high school look like a mushroom in comparison.

Sometimes I went to bed imagining that it was me holding her in that photo she posted.

“It’s only three. I haven’t eaten yet.” “I thought we could go in an hour.” “Isn’t four a little early for dinner?” “You said that you’re in bed by the time most people are eating dinner, so I figured that means you eat earlier than everyone else.”

“When it comes to you, I don’t have any rules.”

“Do you want to say no to me?” “No. That’s the problem.”

I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. I wanted to know you outside of these letters, but you were so damn mean about not wanting to be my friend. Of all the mean letters you sent, that one was the first one that actually hurt me.

I wonder if I’ve made as big an impact on your life as you have on mine.

If you were trying to scare me off, you did a terrible job. I need more of you.”

“What if I told you that I was a robot?” “Then I would say whoever built you did an excellent job.” I can hear his hand scraping the sand as he writes our names in it. “What if I told you that I hate kids?” “Then I hate them too.” “And if I told you that I want a baby right now?” “I would say ‘let’s start trying’ but if you’re a robot, then we might have to adopt.”

Just say the word and I’m yours.

I want you to make it clear. I want you to tell me that you want me.

I think anyone who reads them would know that I’m in love with you.

“Do you really think you’re the only one who’s hurting over this? I fell in love with you, and I lost you.”

“I fell so hard for you that I couldn’t even enjoy anyone else’s company, because I had already decided that you were the one. I tried to tell myself that I was holding you up on a pedestal, that you couldn’t be as funny, or beautiful, or amazing as I imagined you were. Before I came to Miami, I had convinced myself that I was wrong for thinking I could be in love with someone I had never met. And then I met you in person, and it turns out I was right. Everything that I thought I felt was real. I fell in love with you all over again.”

Maybe I’m overthinking things. I’ve been known to do that.

I don’t ask where she’s been all day. She’s here now, and she’s kissing me, and it feels like this is all that matters.