Hate Mail

by Donna Marchetti

Dear Naomi, You sound really boring. My mom says that Oklahoma is in the middle of the bible belt, and you’ll probably end up pregnant at sixteen. Also, ferrets stink. If you want a real pet, then get a dog because cats are boring. On second thought, maybe a cat would be a perfect fit for you after all. Do you get tornadoes in Oklahoma? Love, Luca Pichler

I'm fuvking crying! This kid is insane

Rhode Island.

My home mentioned

his own takeout container. I look over at his food. He has Chinese. It smells so good that it makes me regret my own choice of Italian.

Neer regret Italian food

you

JAKE HAS TO BE LUCA

Much love, Joel Pichler

WAIT JOEL???!?!?!

He opens the door, then looks back at me. “It’s too bad you’re also just as mean in real life,” he says. “I guess I dodged a bullet.”

DAMN

birthday cards for years until my mom forced me to throw them away.”

That is weird as fuck. Why would you make you throw away bday cards?! I've kept every letter or card I have ever received