The Wrong Game (The Eden Chronicles #5)

by S.M. Anderson

Edited by Sarah Knobbs

Formatting by Polgarus Studio

gob smacked

1oth

*10th Proofreading Fail (PRF)

cacophonous

1oth

*10th PRF There's a glaring difference between a '0' and an 'o'; jumps right off the page at you.

cacophony

Second use of similar [SEE Hightlight, page 79: "cacophonous"].

drive his plate

???

18 hours earlier...

boom.

Bizarre how so many authors across all generations in the scifi genre ascribe to the writing business model that italicized sound effect affectations are more credible. The true believers use bold and all caps to zealously push what they've been taught at writing workshops, conventions, and in sundry author 'self-help' books. It's herding of the 'WikiSmart' crowd.

myriad

myriad

Another bizarre pattern ever increasing in frequency across the scifi genre is the repeating loops of using the same word or phrases used by authors in often close proximity. It's a tell that writing software, and/or AI-driven writing software is/are heavily at play. Once patterns are seen by a reader they cannot be unseen.

internee’s

*internees' PRF Another common pattern tell is the difficulty writing software, AI-driven or otherwise, has with plural possessive as here, or making a plural possessive (i.e. 'MRE's' instead of 'MREs'). The proofreading fails (PRF) are on the authors, and their editors & their 'teams' if they employ such.

improved

*proved PRF

The Senior Gemendi in Ler’atta—two days ago, after having admitted under questioning that one of his Gemendi had asked for permission to question the writ.

PRF Presumably 'smh, smh also executed' as a pertinent part is missing from this incomplete sentence.

Gemendi’s

*Gemendis PRF An snapshot of the plurals made possessive writing software problem captured in the wild [SEE Note #7, page 253] and this author's lack of adequate proofreading of his product.

assault rifle

Author, who according to his own blurb is a 'former' Langley field operative, using the favored marxist-maoist term: "assault rifle." Boku tell.

Fort Liberty

Another boku tell by the author in using Fort Bragg's marxist-maoist name so easily. Agent provocateur? He's doing the bidding of "…enemies foreign and domestic…," just as many of his protagonists did in his narrative.

BOOM!

All caps and an exclamation point. Zealous.

(5 Months Later)

The EDF private

“Relax, private.”

the private’s

“No worries, private.”

The private

It really ruins my day, corporal.

**Loss of continuity & PRF The "corporal" was a "private" on the previous page [SEE Highlights on page 322]. Lazy af.

The corporal

SEE Note #14 above.

I had to threaten a private

Back to the original rank.

rice bowl.

All too repetitive.

a feet away.

PRF Lazy af.

It was undoubtedly an optical illusion,

Author should look at film and video of vessels subjected to under hull ordnance (mines, torpedoes) exposions in weapons tests and/or warfare, and revisit his WikiSmart assertion.

in

*it PRF Lazy af.

brrrppp

wumpf

then would

**insert 'why' after "then" PRF

Crack! Boom!

whumpf-swoosh

assault rifles

assault rifles,