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“My name is Gertrude Agnes Cocksuck,” I say with a straight face.
You’d think I could at least fail at life while being hot.
My apartment is what HGTV would call shabby-chic, or what I like to call shitty-cute.
“I would have gone to a thousand cafés if it meant having you as my friend.”
It’s okay if you haven’t got it all figured out. I believe in you. Remember to believe in yourself, too, even when I’m not there to remind you.
becoming wrapped in the scent of fresh greenery and cinnamon.
“Well, surely you need to sample the design on a test subject before presenting it to the intended demographic.”
“No matter how dark things are now, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will come out on the other side. Even if we have nothing else left in the world, we still have ourselves, and we are worth it.”
He makes me feel like I’m something to behold, something to treasure.
I don’t know how to describe it, but I’m falling in love with the version of myself that I am around Theo.
A moment later, my special notification sound for Theo rings out. Yes, I made a special notification sound for him. Yes, I know it’s pathetic.
I haven’t even mentioned the way his stormy green eyes feel as they brush over my skin, leaving me feeling as though I’m made of nothing but flammable materials, just waiting to be ignited. I could tell them about his smile, which leaves me disarmed and ready to offer up my heart, despite my greatest fears. I could tell them about his soul, so deep and honest, which grounds me in a way I’ve never experienced.
“If I don’t get hugged like that before I die, then all of this was a waste of my goddamn time.
I don’t think I’ve hugged this many people... ever. I’m turning into a hug-slut. Why do I like it?
I want to make sure you’re looking at your bright sides too. No matter how tough the situation is, you always have to find that silver lining. I know it’s easier
I hope one day, you’ll share that silver lining with the world.
P.S. Don’t wait until tomorrow because tomorrow is never promised. Find your silver lining today.
Theo: Hey, Ara? Me: Yeah? Theo: I love this for you.
I want to send back an entire paragraph about how Dad’s letter sent me here, and how I’ve never felt this excited about a job. I want to tell Theo that he was the first person I wanted to share it with, that he’s become the first person I always want to share things with.
For years, I’ve surrounded myself with people who belittle me, gaslight me, go behind my back, and worse. Somewhere along the way I started believing it was because of me, that I was lacking some ingredient, which made me undeserving of human decency. Fuck that.
Rather than recoiling, he lifts my hand up and slips the tip of my index finger into his mouth. His lips are velvety soft, his warm tongue grazing my finger, up and down.
My body ignites. Every cell from my face to my toes becomes a painfully aware, burning inferno. Theo sees it in my eyes, as he guides my entire finger into his mouth, sucking until every minutia of cheese and sour cream is gone, leaving me absolutely fucking... something. He releases my finger, resting my hand back on the table as if it was nothing of consequence.
“I think that sometimes there are many universes at play, not just our own and I think they find a way to overlap, changing our trajectory.”
Me: You can’t predict the future. Theo: No, but we can write whatever version of it that we want. Together.
“Tell me again tomorrow when you are sober and I’ll do something about it.”
“You’re like a book boyfriend.” “A what?” “Like Rhysand, or as close to him as a mortal can get, no offense. Don’t feel inadequate or anything, he’s just in another league.”
“I plan to make this slow burn so goddamn worth it.”
“Are you referencing another trope?” He chuckles. “The best one.”
“Once you say it, there is no going back.” His eyes hold an intensity I’ve never seen before. I close my mouth. “Once you’re mine it’s for good, but you need to be ready for that.”
“I would go to every continent. Every country. Every state. Every city. I would knock on every door to find you again.”
think souls have a way of remembering each other. Even after death.”
“You have the kind of beauty that people will try to pick apart because it’s everything they want. They’ll tell you its flaws when all they really want is to have what you have. And they never will. Your beauty is unobtainable.”
Yes, please. Trap me, I beg you.
“I can say with certainty that your dad wouldn’t want you doing something that doesn’t contribute to your happiness,” Theo says. “And being willing to walk away from something you’ve spent your entire life imagining because you can recognize it’s not for you after all? I think that takes more bravery than applying.”
The only limits you face are the ones you set for yourself. And I hope you tell those limits to get fucked.
