Breakfast with the Dirt Cult

by Samuel Finlay

Even medicine had been weaponized. People donated proudly for the cure of breast or ovarian cancer, but few gave a damn about men with tumors in their testicles or prostates. The same was true of parenthood. A girl wanting to “have it all” by being a single mom could seek to adopt, get knocked up, or go the spermcicle route and be considered a champion of progress. (Because she “didn’t need a man.” The Celebrity-Industrial Complex had told her so! Except of course, for her Uncle Sam. She also needed someone watch her child while she was busy focusing on her career. That, and it was nice to have a man around to lift heavy objects. And to perform household maintenance. And to deal with burglars and potential rapists. And to understand that in the event of an emergency, he was to forfeit his life for her and her offspring, because chivalry had died for some reason.) However, if a single man dared to step foot into an adoption agency in the hopes of providing a home for a child and raising it as his own, he’d be suspected of being a pedophile. (Men weren’t recognized as possessing any life-affirming instincts whatsoever. The very word paternal, which was once used to denote the strong qualities of a father, was now used as a slur. Fathers were now deemed unnecessary for civilization, save for their ability to hand over money and resources to women.