She felt frustrated and confused; she wanted the world around her to make sense, and it didn’t. Cyrus was supposed to be evil. She wanted him to act evil. He wasn’t supposed to be kind and deferential and considerate. He was the character she was meant to kill without a crisis of conscience. She wasn’t supposed to lose her head. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this, like there was an open wound inside her, like she wanted to sit down and cry. The feeling came dangerously close to grief.
