Until Trevor (Until, #2)

by Aurora Rose Reynolds

She was mine from the first time I laid eyes on her at my parents’ house.

She was sitting outside, laughing with my mom; right then and there, I knew that she was mine. Then we became somewhat friends; one thing led to another the night of my niece’s birth. I finally had her under me, and she rocked my world with the news that she’s a virgin. Ever since that day, I try to avoid her.

For a while, I thought of him as one of my best friends, until the day July was born. We ended up at his house, celebrating over a bottle of vodka. Things ended up getting hot and heavy. He had his hand down my pants, and I was so caught up in the moment that when he asked me how long it had been, I told him “never”. I didn’t mean I’ve never had sex; I meant that I had never felt that kind of fire, like my whole body was lit from the inside out. As soon as I said the word “never”, he stopped immediately. I tried to tell him that I didn’t mean it like he took it, but he completely ignored me. He then handed me my shirt from the floor and left the room. He has been avoiding me ever

since. Which is a good thing, because I had never been more humiliated in my life.

I don’t want to talk to him, and when I had wanted to talk to him, he didn’t want to listen.

His dark brown hair is cut low to his scalp; his brown eyes are made more beautiful with the long lashes that frame them. His jaw is square, and like always, it looks like he needs to shave; the dark growth around his mouth makes his full lips stand out even more.

“You’re innocent, Liz, a fucking virgin, and you want to work at a strip club?” he growls. “First of all, it’s none of your business, but I’m actually not a virgin. Second of all, there was not one single question on my application for this place about my sexual history,” I say, completely pissed off. “Who the fuck have you been with since we were together?” he asks. I can see his face turning red.

“No one! Geez, Louise,” I say, waving my hand in front of me. “How exactly do you go from you having never, to now?” He asks, looking as confused as his question sounds. “I never said that I was a virgin,” I snap. “You chose to hear that, and then you walked away, completely ignoring me when I tried to explain it to you. Which, by the way, was pretty damn embarrassing.” I say, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling almost as embarrassed as I did the night that we were together. “Fuck me,” he whispers, running his hands down his face. “Look, I really need to go. I’m sure Bambi is freaking out; I left her with a bachelor party,” I say, looking towards the door again, ready to run for it.

“I never thought that I could hate you, but you just proved me wrong.” I say quietly, as tears start to fill my eyes. My shoulders slump, and I start walking towards the door.

“Just so you learn a lesson from tonight, I’m going to clue you in; you know, since were friends and all.” I say sarcastically. “First of all, friends ask each other about their lives. Second, a friend would wonder what circumstances would cause someone to work somewhere that they never would have before. And last, but not fucking least, a friend would never threaten another friend.” With my parting words, I rev my engine and let the gravel fly behind me. My car fishtails right before I get to the stop sign. I turn up Nickelback’s “Animals” on my car stereo, stick my hand out my window, and flip Trevor off. As soon as I roll up my window, tears start sliding down my cheeks from the sadness and anger I’m feeling. I trusted Trevor at one point,

“What are you talking about? We were never together.” I shake my head. “We hung out. I had considered you a friend; then we got drunk, fooled around, and you showed me that I was nothing but just another woman, just like all the others.” I blow a piece of hair out of my face, feeling myself turn red from embarrassment. “Now if you would just leave and not talk to me any more like you did before, that would be great,” I say, turning around to finish what I was doing. “Why’s this Bill sending you flowers?” I look over and see him standing in front of the flowers, looking at the card. “What’s with you?” I walk over and snatch the card out of his hand. “You’re coming with me to go see July Saturday when you get off.” I look at him like he has lost his damn mind. He shrugs. “I already told Asher that you would be there.”

It doesn’t help that I never wanted to be here to begin with. But standing out in the cool night air in a tank top, listening to some girl talk about how she’s going to try and trap one of the Mayson boys by getting knocked up, and that she doesn’t care which one it is, just as long as one of them is her baby-daddy,

We’d spent time together, we laughed, I could call and talk to him about anything, and he was there for me. Then it was like I wasn’t worth anything to him when he thought I was a virgin. He wouldn’t talk to me; he ignored me when we were in the same place. And worse, if we were out, he always had a girl on him. And any man that came and introduced himself, he would send someone over to make him leave me alone, even if it was the girl that he was talking to. It was like he was trying to say that I wasn’t good enough to have a relationship with anyone.

When we were friends, I told him things that I had never told anyone else. I trusted him. I had been falling in love with the person that he is, not the guy that every woman in town wants a piece of, but the real him.

“I’m going with you today to see July, but after that, I think that it would be best if we went back to the way things were. I’m not having sex with you. Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean that I’m going to sleep with you.” I say in my most serious voice. “You were going to sleep with me.” “Yeah,” I whisper, feeling tears clog my throat. “Thankfully, that didn’t happen. I mean, how humiliating would it be to have slept with you, then have you walk away without ever talking to me again,” I laugh, but it’s humorless and full of hurt. “Listen, I was fucked up, okay? You’re so innocent; I thought I was doing the right thing.” “So now that you know that I’ve had sex, you think it’s okay to sleep with me?” I’m so confused by his logic. “Stop fucking saying that you’ve had sex,” he growls, his hands sliding down his face. “Jesus, I don’t want to fucking talk or hear about that shit.”

“Hey, beautiful. You look more and more like your mamma,” Liz whispered, kissing July’s chubby cheek while walking into the living room. She sat on the couch; my heart squeezed at the sight of her holding my niece, her long blonde hair over the opposite shoulder that July’s head was laid against. To see the comfort and ease she had with a baby was surprising.

“No, thanks,” Liz said, her eyes never leaving July. “Do you want kids?” I asked, her eyes meeting mine. “No,” she shook her head.

My heart froze. Looking at her, I could see the longing on her face with the way she looked at July. “Why don’t you want kids?” I knew the question sounded almost angry, but she caught me off guard. “I just don’t,” she whispered. Standing up, she walked towards the back door where Beast was sitting outside, looking in through the glass. She opened the door and stepped out. I watched as she walked down the back steps to the yard, picked up a ball, and threw it for him.

“I asked her if she wanted kids. When she said no, I asked her why not. She said she just didn’t, and she got up and walked off.” “Dude, what the fuck?” “What? It’s just a question; she fucking shocked me saying that she doesn’t want kids.”

“Let’s say she has a reason for not wanting a child. Do you think that she would tell you the reason? And why would she, when you’re not someone she trusts?” He asked, shoving a huge bite of ham sandwich in his mouth. I shook my head looking back out the window; she was now sitting on the grass, with Beast sitting on top of her. “I know it’s fucked up, but she’s it.” He raised a brow at me. “I knew from the minute I saw her.” “She’s your boom.” He nodded in understanding. “Yeah, but some shit went down, and I used it as an excuse to avoid what I was feeling and pushed her away. I was still trying to hold on, but it didn’t work and blew up in my face. Now, I’m trying to figure out how the fuck to get back to where we were.” “The only advice I can give you is to stick with it, and it might not hurt to push her a little; it sounds like she’s not going to be very open to a relationship with you. But don’t give her a choice; play all your cards, even the ones that push her into a corner.”

“A pair of earrings that I know she will love,” she said, running her finger down July’s cheek. Her face changed so drastically that I couldn’t breathe; she wanted this. I could feel she wanted a family, or at least a baby; the longing in her eyes couldn’t be misinterpreted. “Are you okay?” I asked. She startled, taking a step back.

She smiled, shaking her head, “You really are good at that, aren’t you?” She grabbed some stuff out of her purse and put them in a smaller bag. “Good at what?” “Making a woman feel like she’s all you see.” “You are all I see.” I told her truthfully.

“Whatever, can we just go?” Her eyes got wet, and my chest squeezed. I thought that we were making progress, but it seemed like we were stuck in limbo. I put my hands to her waist, lifted her onto the counter, stood between her legs, and fought the urge to look at where her dress had ridden up her thighs. “Now what are you doing?” she snapped, pushing against me. Taking her wrists, I held them behind her back. “Baby, listen to me.” Her breathing changed. “I don’t have a choice; you’re a bully and bigger than me,” she mumbled. She looked so cute that I leaned in and kissed her softly, before laying my forehead against hers. “I know I fucked up, but I want you to give me a chance. If this doesn’t work out, you don’t ever have to see me again. But try for me.”

“I haven’t been in one. I never even thought about it until I saw you sitting on my parents’ porch with your legs to your chest, a cup of coffee in your hand, your hair in a crazy mess around you. You looked beautiful; then you laughed and I knew that it was you for me. I wondered who you were, and when I found out that you lived in town and I had never even seen you before, I was shocked. So I started hanging out with you and found out that not only were you gorgeous, but also sweet. I didn’t know what to do with how I was feeling about you, so I used the only thing I could to push you away. The problem was I didn’t like it much when you gave me what I wanted.”

“Hey, now, no crying. You’re okay, I…” Jesus, I was going to say I love you, but I don’t, do I? Shit, I do. I fucking love her. I swallowed, looking down at her; it was too

soon. I knew that it would happen, but it was too soon; my stomach was in knots, and I felt sick.

I lift Liz’s face, checking her over. There is no swelling or redness; she looks much better, but not knowing what her reaction was from still worries me. “You look a lot better.” “Why am I here?” she asks, then bites her lip like she didn’t mean to ask. I want to say, “Because this is where you will be from now on.” But I know better. Plus, right now, she has her body pressed against mine, and I didn’t even have to corner her. “You were really sick last night. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

My eyes land on a giant black dog, and when our eyes meet, its head tilts to the side. I follow and do the same head tilt. We stare at each other for a few seconds before it puts one giant paw up on the door of its cage. I lift my hand, walking towards the dog. When it whines, I know it is the one. I hadn’t even wanted a dog, but know that this guy, or girl, is mine.

“The Rottweiler in cage seventeen,” Trevor tells her. “Aw, she’s so sweet. I took her home with me last weekend and she was so good with my grandbabies! You two got any kids?” she asks, looking between us. I started to say no. “Not yet,” Trevor says, putting his arm around my waist, his thumb hooking on the inside of my jeans. I know I’m completely stiff; I don’t want kids. I told Trevor that the other day when he asked me if I wanted children. Apparently, he only hears what he wants. “You two will sure make some pretty babies.” I can feel my hands start to sweat at her comment. I love kids, but every time I even think about having my own, I feel panicked. I’m not so delusional that I don’t know exactly where my anxiety comes from. My dad died when I was young.

“We’re going to talk about this. Not right now, not tomorrow, but soon, and when we do, you’re going to be honest with me. And then I’m going to set you straight by telling you that you not giving the gift of your love, kindness, and strength to a child of your own would be a tragedy.”

“Holy shit!” Cash says. “What?” I look over at him, expecting some kind of disaster to be happening in my truck. He’s looking out the windshield. I follow his gaze and see a girl with shoulder–length, bright red hair, creamy skin, and a short summer dress holding the door open for a woman with a stroller. “You know her?” I ask, looking back at him, noticing he looks a little star struck. He looks over at me with his big cheesy smile. “Nah, but I will.”

Cash to boom

As usual, when she has her Kindle in her hand, the world could crumble around her and she wouldn’t have a clue.

I can take the next step and ask her to be my wife. I know people are going to say that we’re moving too fast, and we don’t know each other, but I don’t care.

“I fucking love you so fucking much that it’s making me fucking crazy.” I lay my forehead against hers. “I need you to say you will marry me. And don’t tell me that it’s too soon; I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. It’s going to happen one way or another, so just agree.”

“Tell me you love me,” I growl. “I’m going fucking crazy; tell me you love me.” “I love you.” I watch as tears start to slide into her hair.

flirting with Cash. This didn’t work, I guess. Cash has been seeing some girl he met when he and Trevor went to Alabama. He has been spending most of his free time there with her.

“I love you. Don’t ever doubt that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Why is it that every time someone talks about kids, you panic?” I sit up; I knew this day was coming. “I told you before, I don’t want kids.” “I want kids, Liz, and I know that you do too. I see the longing in your face anytime you hold July, or even when you met Kara and noticed she was pregnant.” I do want them; deep down there is nothing I want more then to be a mother. But I can’t do it; I can’t have children, and then leave them behind. “I told you before, Trevor, that if that was a deal breaker for you, then you should get out before feelings were involved.” “Tell me that you never want kids.” “I…” I can’t say it; the words just won’t come out. “We are going to make beautiful babies, and you are going to be an awesome mom,” he says, kissing the top of my head. My stomach is in knots, my palms sweating. I want to tell him so badly that I don’t want kids, but I can’t. When I think about having a little boy, with big brown eyes and long dark lashes,

who looks just like Trevor, I can’t tell him that I don’t want that. I lay my head back on his shoulder, clearing my mind of everything except the alcohol coursing through my system.

“Jules is pregnant. How the fuck am I going to fix that?” he asks, his eyes pleading. “Jesus,” I mumble, running my hands down my face, before looking at all three of my brothers. “I thought you were with Lilly?” Nico asks. I’m sure we’re all wondering. Cash has been all about Lilly since he met her and we got back from Alabama; if he has the weekend off, he spends it with her near her school. He was even thinking about asking her to transfer schools so that she could be closer. “I broke it off with her,” he says, looking away. “Dude, are you sure that she’s even pregnant? Or even if she is, you sure that it’s your kid?” Nico asks for all of us again. “I went to the doctor with her today, and the doctor confirmed that around the time I slept with her is when she had gotten pregnant.” “What the fuck?” Nico looks at me, and I know exactly what he’s thinking. “Did you use protection?” I ask. “Yeah! I’m not stupid.” He groans. “We had been hooking up for a while but we both agreed that’s all it was ever going to be.” “Did you have the condom, or did she?” “Does it fucking matter whose condom we used?” “I fucking told you that Jules was telling people at the bonfire that she wanted to get knocked up. Do you remember that conversation, dumbass?”

toward him. “You know that no matter what, we will be here for you, whatever you need.” “I just broke up with my girl.” Cash looks at me, pleading. “I didn’t want her to have to go through this with me, so I called her and broke it off with her over the phone. I didn’t even have the balls to break it off with her in person.” “You didn’t have to do that,” Asher says. “Jules is pregnant with my child. After I saw my son and heard his heartbeat today, I knew what I had to do. I can’t be so selfish as to think that Lilly would want to stick with me through this, knowing that I’m having a child with another woman.” I didn’t like that he was going through this, but I understood why he would feel conflicted about having Lilly in this situation.

“I need a couple beers,” Cash says, sitting down in one of the chairs, his elbows to his knees, and his head hung low. I watch Asher and Nico head outside before I walk to where Cash is. “It will be alright,” I tell him, sitting in a chair next to him. “Lilly’s my one,” he whispers so low that I barely hear him. His hands cover his face, and then come to rest over his mouth when our eyes connect.

“Fuck,” I say, leaning my head back. I can’t imagine having to give up Liz. “Yeah,” he agrees, before looking at the door

“You’re never leaving me.” I slam into her, punctuating my words. “You’re never getting rid of me. Tell me you want to have my child.” “Yes!” she screams, convulsing around me. Her pussy pulls me in, bringing on my own orgasm. I lay my forehead against her back, trying to catch my breath. I know that it’s fucked up to ask her to have my baby when I know she’s getting ready to have an orgasm; but fuck, I need her tied to me. “Oh my God! What was that?” she laughs.

the man in

front of me takes me off guard he’s so stunning. I don’t even know if a guy should be called stunning, but he is. His skin is the color of dark caramel; you can tell that his heritage is most likely Hawaiian. His long black hair is pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his neck, showing off the features of his sculptured face. His high cheekbones, square jaw, dark lashes and amber eyes would take any woman’s breath away. “Liz Hayes?” His deep voice rumbles; he’s dressed in a dark grey suit, with a silk, wine-colored shirt that’s unbuttoned at the neck. “Yes,” I say, swallowing hard. His energy is so scary, that I dig my fingernails into my palms to avoid running. “I’m Kai.” He sticks out his hand. I look down at it, noticing how giant it is, and quickly put my hand out. His engulfs mine. I clear my throat, taking my hand back. “Nice to meet you, Kai,” I say, his mouth twitches, then he schools his features. “I’m looking for your brother. Do you know how I can get ahold of him?” I shake my head no. “You’re either very loyal, or very stupid.” He shakes his head. “Do you understand that when the truth comes out about your brother, there will be no help for him? He’s as good as dead.”

I told her that I want to start working on getting her pregnant. I need to know that she is tied to me in a way that is unbreakable. Yeah, she has my ring on her finger, and in a week she’ll have my last name. But that’s not going to be enough. It might make me a controlling dick, but I need it. I have to know that we have something to tie us together through eternity.

“You love July.” My anger is starting to surface, and I know that I need to stop before I say something I can’t take back. “I do,” she whispers. I can see tears forming in her eyes. “Talk to me; tell me what the fuck is going through your head?” I yell. Her eyes meet mine, and there is so much pain looking back at me that I flinch. “I can’t do it,” she whispers, right before she runs out of the house. It takes a second to realize that the sound I hear is her car spitting up gravel in the driveway. “Fuck!” I roar, picking up her pill case and crushing it in my fist, before I throw them across the room, grab my keys, and head out to find my fiancée.

“Tell me,” I say, pulling her face out of my neck, looking into her eyes. As much as it would kill me to not have a child with her, if that is what she truly wanted, I would do it for her. “You don’t want a baby?” Her face goes slack; tears start to fall harder.

“When I think about never having a baby, it makes me feel sick,” she whispers. “But when I think about having a baby, I feel panic.” I nod my head in understanding.