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Jesus, how did she make this look so easy?
I just realized he blindfolds himself because Katy was blind omfg I’m crying
Go skinny dipping in a stranger’s pool. Crossing it out, I refold the paper and put it away, my chest heaving as I swipe the wet hair from my forehead. Shoving my helmet on, I can almost hear Katy’s hysterical laughter in my ears as I start the engine and drive back to her brother’s house.
“Jesus, the way you look at him…” Frankie mutters. “I wish someone would look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like they wanna fight me and fuck me at the same time.”
Katy started dragging me along with her back in high school so I could tell her what was happening, and I loved it. Even after she died and I was drowning myself in my own misery, I kept coming. He might not have seen me since that night at the cemetery, but I’ve been seeing him. Every game for the last two years—except for the twelve weeks I was in rehab—I’ve been right here, watching his heart sink with every shot, the light in his eyes fading more and more as time went on.
Once I get to the parking lot, I get on my bike and make the hour drive to the cemetery in my hometown, sitting down at Katy’s grave to give her a play-by-play of the game, just like I always do.
My heart
“Oh my God,” he chokes out. “Shit, Nate.” “I know,” I say softly, watching his body move as he grinds his ass up, fucking me back. “Fuck. Keep going just like that. You look so hot like this, baby.”
If I find out he’s been sneaking out of my house to fuck someone else, I’m gonna choke him until he pukes.
“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty,” I whisper, possessively grazing my thumb over the hickey beneath his ear. “You look like mine.” “Don’t,” he pleads, and I cock my head, watching him look up at me with sad eyes and a fragile heart. “Don’t make me fall for you.”
I press my lips to Xavi’s neck, catching his head in my hand when it almost falls off my shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.”
Sobbing
“I wanna spit in your mouth. Get it all wet and fuck that little tongue ring with my dick.” “That’s disgusting.” “You like it?” I nod, wishing he could do it right now.
I haven’t been able to get away from him since. It’s been two hours, and every time I try to get up, he grabs the sleeve of my hoodie and pulls me back down without taking his eyes off the TV.
That’s a good friend right there whether he sees it or not
let out a noise that sounds more like a sob than a laugh, my eyes glistening with tears as we wait for the seconds to tick by on his watch. At one second to midnight, he blows his candle out, and at one second past midnight, I blow mine out, signaling the end of Katy’s birthday and the beginning of mine.
I licked it so it’s mine. Smiling a little, I toss the picture back into the box and gently set the lid on top. “Too bad, little sister,” I whisper. “He’s mine now.”
“If you even try to make me jealous tonight, I’ll fuck you so hard and for so long, you’ll never want dick again by the time I’m done with you.” “I’m not gonna try to make you jealous.” His arms come around my neck, his breath tickling my jaw. “I’m not trying to make you mad, Nate. I just wanted to look good for you.” My groan slips free, and I grab his hips, rubbing myself on him to show him how hard he’s making me. “You look so good, baby,” I rasp, cupping his face to study the eyeliner he’s wearing. “So pretty.”
“I don’t know. I was blindfolded.” Jesus Christ. “Wait, why were you…?” And then it hits me. He’s doing it all blind. Fuck. There’s something wrong with my heart.
Literally me when I realized 😩
“You want it?” he asks, moving his mouth around to my ear as he works on my zipper. “I’m an addict, Nate,” I rasp. “I need it.”
“I want to mean something to you,” I admit. “Anything. I want you to remember me after you decide you’re done with me and kick me out of your life for good. I wanna ruin you so bad that it’s me you’ll think about every time you’re fucking the person you really wanna be with.”
“Fuck off, Xavi. The only reason I keep doing this shit for you is because we’re in too deep. If Nate finds out, my ass is on the line right next to yours.”
PLOT TWIIIIIST????!
“What’s wrong with you?” “You’re what’s wrong with me,” he grits out, and I look up at him dumbly, feeling a little dizzy. “I don’t know what that means.” “That’s because you’re an idiot.”
He is falling for youuuuu and he doesn’t like iiiiiit
His phone rings on the counter behind him, but he either can’t hear it or he’s ignoring it, probably bruising my ass with his fingertips as he fucks me hard and fast.
Oh no this is gonna happen to him the same thing that happened to Xavi and Nate’s sister!!!
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
“Do you really expect me to forget what you did?” “I don’t want you to forget,” he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. “I just want you to love me anyway.”
Instead I find myself standing outside my dealer’s house,
Oh Jesus Christ *in frank Gallagher’s voice*
“I knew your baby sister, too, you know? Our boyfriend there let me fuck her virgin pussy for a couple bags of coke.”
Oh my god if this is true, it has ruined the whole book for me I’m. Or even fuckin lying
2 YEARS AGO
This was a 5 star book for me and I swear to god if that was true I’m going to make a raging 0 star review
“I gave him what he wanted,” I whisper, too ashamed of myself to look up at him. “He got me high and…I lost count of how many times I let him do it. That’s where I was today. That’s where I was when she…” I gag, leaning forward on my hands.
Okay I’m so relieved that the book didn’t take a HORRIFYING turn
But in a way also. The book took another horrifying turn
Two years later,
Okay but backtrack, what happened to Nate and Carter finding Xavi at his dealers house????
And then Nate having to be told about Katy losing her virginity???
“I know,” he says softly, kissing my hair at the top of my head. “I know.”
Ooookay never mind I was confused with the timeline here
But I’m also guessing we about to see when xavi and Carter hooked up which is weird bc it kind feels like cheating rn lol
“What are you doing?!” “Taking you home.” “Where’s home, Nate?” he bites out, throwing back the same question I asked him not so long ago. Holding his wrists with both hands, I move closer until my chest is flush against his, placing his warm hands on both sides of my neck. “It’s wherever I am, Xav.”
“Jesus Christ. I love you, okay?” I damn near shout, pushing him down on his back and crawling on top of him. “I hate myself for it but I fucking love you.” “That’s sweet.”
Wait for me. I’ll take you to see Katy.
“I love you,” he finally says. “I’ve always loved you.” “I know,” I tease, brushing my lips against his. “I just wanted to hear you say it to me.”
Nate and Xavi <3
