Like You Hate Me (Hawthorne University #1)

by Bethany Winters

This hate inside me feels like a living, breathing thing, and it wants Xavi Hart. Now that he’s within reach, it wants to take him and own him, to pin him down and punish him for what he’s done, to make him cry and beg for me to make it stop.

“Jesus, the way you look at him…” Frankie mutters. “I wish someone would look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like they wanna fight me and fuck me at the same time.”

All the nights I watched him sleep, this is what I thought about. Pinning him down and taking what I want from him. Making him pay. Making him break. Fucking with his head and his heart and his body all at once. It’s what I crave most in the world. To see him fall apart, piece by piece until there’s nothing left.

“Oh my God,” he chokes out. “Shit, Nate.” “I know,” I say softly, watching his body move as he grinds his ass up, fucking me back. “Fuck. Keep going just like that. You look so hot like this, baby.”

If I find out he’s been sneaking out of my house to fuck someone else, I’m gonna choke him until he pukes.

“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty,” I whisper, possessively grazing my thumb over the hickey beneath his ear. “You look like mine.” “Don’t,” he pleads, and I cock my head, watching him look up at me with sad eyes and a fragile heart. “Don’t make me fall for you.”

I press my lips to Xavi’s neck, catching his head in my hand when it almost falls off my shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.”

This motherfucker seriously just picked me up and yeeted me into the motherfucking sea!

I licked it so it’s mine. Smiling a little, I toss the picture back into the box and gently set the lid on top. “Too bad, little sister,” I whisper. “He’s mine now.”

“If you even try to make me jealous tonight, I’ll fuck you so hard and for so long, you’ll never want dick again by the time I’m done with you.” “I’m not gonna try to make you jealous.” His arms come around my neck, his breath tickling my jaw. “I’m not trying to make you mad, Nate. I just wanted to look good for you.” My groan slips free, and I grab his hips, rubbing myself on him to show him how hard he’s making me. “You look so good, baby,” I rasp, cupping his face to study the eyeliner he’s wearing. “So pretty.”

“I want to mean something to you,” I admit. “Anything. I want you to remember me after you decide you’re done with me and kick me out of your life for good. I wanna ruin you so bad that it’s me you’ll think about every time you’re fucking the person you really wanna be with.”

I wish I could stay here forever. Be his forever.

“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”

“Jesus Christ. I love you, okay?” I damn near shout, pushing him down on his back and crawling on top of him. “I hate myself for it but I fucking love you.” “That’s sweet.”

“You still want it rough?” he asks, coaxing my mouth open with his tongue. “No,” I breathe out. “Fuck me like you love me.”

When we get home from the airport, we drop our bags on our bedroom floor and collapse onto the bed, propped up on our elbows while Xavi unfolds Katy’s list on his pillow. He grabs his marker pen from the nightstand and uncaps it, chewing the inside of his cheek as he crosses out number nine. Get a tattoo. “I like that we got something for all three of us.” He smiles softly, holding our arms out to study the matching ink on the insides of our wrists. “She probably thinks we’re fuckin’ saps though.” I scoot closer to take his hand, gently running my thumb around the small, wonky heart at the end. “Nah. She’s loving this.” He nods and turns his face to catch my eyes, pinching his lips from side to side as he hesitates. “Cross it out, Xav.” Still smiling, he draws a line through the three words Katy wrote at the bottom of her list. Nate and Xavi <3