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Fuck, I forgot how much it hurts to look at him.
It’s never mattered how hard I try to hide it. He’s always been able to see me for what I am. Broken. Pathetic. Gay.
This hate inside me feels like a living, breathing thing, and it wants Xavi Hart.
“Jesus, the way you look at him…” Frankie mutters. “I wish someone would look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like they wanna fight me and fuck me at the same time.”
“They make me feel nothing, okay? Not doing them makes me feel it all. All the pain and the guilt and the fucking misery. I’m sober because I deserve it. Because it hurts more.”
Because even though she’ll never admit it, she hates being alone when the demons come for her and try to drag her down.
I can do no wrong in Carter’s eyes. It doesn’t matter how much of a prick I am to him, he never leaves. I don’t think he’ll ever leave me. I could kill someone in cold blood, and he’d probably high five me on his way to grab a shovel.
“You look like mine.”
He’s just as addictive as any drug I’ve ever taken, just as destructive and dangerous to my health. He fills every corner of my mind until all I can think about is getting him inside me again.
It’s as if my cock only has to hear its owner's name and it wakes up ready.
This motherfucker seriously just picked me up and yeeted me into the motherfucking sea!
“Too bad, little sister,” I whisper. “He’s mine now.”
“If you even try to make me jealous tonight, I’ll fuck you so hard and for so long, you’ll never want dick again by the time I’m done with you.” “I’m not gonna try to make you jealous.” His arms come around my neck, his breath tickling my jaw. “I’m not trying to make you mad, Nate. I just wanted to look good for you.” My groan slips free, and I grab his hips, rubbing myself on him to show him how hard he’s making me. “You look so good, baby,” I rasp, cupping his face to study the eyeliner he’s wearing. “So pretty.”
“Would you believe me if I told you you’re worth it?” I ask, and he narrows his pretty eyes into slits. “No.”
“I want to mean something to you,” I admit. “Anything. I want you to remember me after you decide you’re done with me and kick me out of your life for good. I wanna ruin you so bad that it’s me you’ll think about every time you’re fucking the person you really wanna be with.”
I wish I could stay here forever. Be his forever.
I didn’t realize I was gay until the first time you touched me.”
“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”
I think you’re gonna flip his world upside down and there'll be nothing he can do to stop it.
“I don’t want you to forget,” he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. “I just want you to love me anyway.”
“If he’s not nothing, then what is he?” “He’s everything, you idiot,”
“He’s always been mine. Even when you thought he was yours, it was always me he was thinking about. Every fucking time.”
I’ve been hopelessly in love with him since I was fifteen, and unfortunately for me, nothing he does to me can take that away.
“Trust me, that boy’ll walk outta the closet with no shame if it’s you standing next to him. He’d do anything for you, Nate. You know that.”
“Baby, you’d follow me through hell and back if I asked you to.”
“Fuck me like you love me.”
